Don’t rush me, sonny

I don’t like deadlines.  I’ll admit that they’re necessary, and if I didn’t have deadlines I’d never do anything I didn’t want to do.  There are lots of things I do want to do that would never get done, either.  They’re important, deadlines.  But they make me nervous.  Anxious.  Not like before, but I’d rather not have any anxiety at all.  I suppose it comes with responsibility.  And I know myself; if I didn’t have work deadlines to worry about, I’d find something else.

But let’s not worry right now, okay?  Now is for relaxing.  Now is for winding down, for reading this book I haven’t been spending enough time with, for breathing deeply and counting backwards on clocks and other things that Greg said in yesterday’s comments.  We’ve been watching Weeds (we’re in season 2), and the theme song is on a loop in my head (there’s always something).  Maybe I can meditate to “Little Boxes”.

Deep breaths.

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