Why I Want to Move

Reason #24: From our bedroom, I can hear every conversation the neighbors have when they’re out on the sidewalk saying goodbye to their guests at the end of the night.  I can hear the guy across the street whistle for his dog.  He’s whistling that distinctive whistle people who can whistle whistle when they’re calling their dogs in from the yard.  You know which whistle I’m talking about.  (Whistle.)  I can hear the car door close when my early-rising neighbor goes off to work at god-awful-early-in-the-morning.

Point?  I don’t want to live this close to my neighbors.  I like the idea of neighbors, I like having them, I like knowing them, and I kinda wish I knew some of them better.  But I don’t want to hear them when I’m inside.

Can they hear me?  Can they hear the TV or the music I was playing when I picked up this afternoon?  Don’t invade my privacy, neighbors.  And get off my lawn!

Whistle.