The itchiest post in the world

Catalog Living makes me laugh.  Here and here.  (I’m catching up.  You should have seen how many tabs I had open for Tom and Lorenzo.)  Then I wasted about an hour on The Daily What.  Who am I kidding?  That was not a waste of an hour.

Did you come here for original content?  I’m terribly sorry.  I seem to have misplaced it.  Let’s look over here….nope.  Not under my desk?  In the closet?  No.  Under the dog!  No way.  Part of my problem (or the handiest excuse I have right now) is that I’m fighting the itchiest  bug bites I’ve ever had.  It’s like chicken pox.  I’m fairly certain it isn’t chicken pox, and my memories of chicken pox are pretty old, but that’s what it’s like.  I think.  I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since Saturday night.  I’ll get through most of the day not really noticing the bites, but they burn like fire in the middle of the night.  It’s awful.  The last few nights I’ve gone to bed after taking ibuprofen and benadryl and after dousing my legs in caladryl lotion.  Hasn’t helped.  Today I tried neosporin and band-aids.  Not helpful.  Tonight, though, I have a plan.  First, this anti-itch lotion that smells like the worst mentholated cough drops you’ve ever tasted.  So far so good.  Then a bath with epsom salt.  If those two things don’t work, I’m going to cut my legs off at mid-thigh and hobble around on my stumps for the rest of my life.  It’s that bad.

5 Comments

  1. Melvin?

    If it weren’t for pollination and bird food, I’d say nuke all the bugs. I mean it. They all suck.

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