And that’s why I didn’t leave you a message

I have it on good authority that I leave bad voicemails.  The kind you never want to listen to.  The kind that go on and on.  And on and on.  And on and –   They don’t have any redeeming qualities, unless you really enjoy the sound of my voice.  I don’t do it on purpose, I really don’t.  In fact, most of the time I don’t leave a message at all.  I figure you’ll notice you missed my call, and you’ll call me back when you feel like it. That’s how I handle missed calls.  And when you leave me a voicemail, if I can see who it’s from, I usually call you without listening to it anyway.  Sometimes, though, I can’t resist the siren song of the beeeeeeeeeeep.  I go in with the best of intentions – short and sweet.  “Just calling to say hi, call me when you can.  Nothing urgent.  Bye.”  But somehow I get off track.  Like as soon as I start talking.  “Just calling to say hi, call me when you can.  Nothing urgent.  But it’s been a while since we talked.  Not that I have anything in particular to talk about.  Huh – sounds like I don’t want to talk to you.  But I do!  Still not urgent, though.  I know you’re busy.  I’ll stop rambling now,  I know you hate that.  You’re probably not listening to this anyway.  Who listens to voicemails anymore, now that every phone ever has caller ID?  Right, no rambling.  I don’t know why I have this problem.  [long pause]  Great, now you have dead air in the middle of this message.  That wasn’t important in the first place.  Gah!  Hanging up now.  Jesus, what a terrible message.  Why can’t I hang up?”  Seriously, I’ve probably left that exact message on someone’s voicemail.  Hopefully, no one listened to it. Delete, delete!

9 Comments

  1. Jess

    Oh, dear God, I do this all the time … as you know. Which is why I always listen to your voicemails. They remind me I’m not the only one.

  2. I leave long rambling comments on blogs. Except for this one. This one will be the exception. Well, I’m dangerously close to proving myself right, so I’d better quit while I’m ahead. Buggar, too late. 🙁

  3. Melvin?

    Yes, you leave awful messages. But they’re funny! Don’t stop leaving me awful messages, please, especially in tears on your way to work. I LOVE it when you do that. Not even kidding. 🙂

    Heart you!

  4. Zannah

    So…the consensus seems to be that long rambling messages (and blog comments – I love those) are perfectly fine, and for those of you who don’t like them, you probably don’t listen to your messages anyway. Yay! No need for reform.

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