The only thing I can say for sure about the person who owns this car is that she (possibly he, but I’m going with she because someone has to make a decision here, and I really hate using they) loves to knit. Or crochet. Or whatever it is you do with yarn. Or maybe she’s just really into wool. And/or sheep. Maybe it’s goat wool. Does yarn have to be made out of wool? I assume not – I’m sure there’s such a thing as synthetic yarn. What I’m really interested in knowing, though, is if she’s a pirate or a zombie.
She might wander around the area squinting her eyes and asking strangers, “Ahoy matey, do you know where I can find the new yarrrrrn store? Me parrot’s in dire need of a new sweater vest.” Or else she shuffles down the block after the poor scared little lamb, with a blank stare and her jaw hanging open, mumbling “Yarrrrrnnnn…” Poor scared little lamb. I’ll protect you.
Next time I see, I’m going to ask. I’m going to hop right out of my car, knock on her window, hope the light is still red, and ask her which end of the zombie/pirate spectrum she prefers. Of course, she doesn’t have to choose. Maybe she’s into zombie pirates. Or pirate zombies. (How do you tell the difference?) Or ninjas. Maybe that’s the sound a pirate makes when he’s killed by a ninja. Or maybe she just likes yarn, and when she says yarn, she says it the way Homer does when he thinks about donuts.
I’m out of ideas, so let’s hope I see her again soon.