The other night, Riley did everything he could to make sure he was going to get kicked out of our room. He went to bed quietly enough (on the dog bed on the floor on my side of the bed), but then he spent what felt like several hours making weird slobbery lip-smacking noises with pauses for low groaning. (He’s been making these annoyed groaning noises a lot – that used to be Roxy’s thing. Just one more habit of hers he’s picked up.) Then at 2:30, he decided it was time to get up. I found this out when he dropped his giant head on my shoulder and stuck his cold wet nose in my ear. So I got up to let him out (and not let him back upstairs after). I put him in the backyard. Usually in the middle of the night, he goes out, pees, and comes right back in. Was he going to do that that particular night? Of course not. I waited a few minutes, and then opened the door again to call him in. No sign of him. My eyes eventually adjusted a little, and I could just make him out as a slightly darker shadow along the back fence. And I could hear him sniffing and snuffling at something. Ignoring me. I clapped, and I called, and I rattled the treat box – nothing. I went out on the deck, barely dressed and barefoot. Sometimes me on the deck gets his attention. Nothing. I was going to have to go out in the yard. So I went back upstairs, got my shoes, got my coat, and headed out into the yard. The dog let me get into the very middle of the yard before he sprinted for the deck, giving me a wide berth. Then he had the nerve to be annoyed when I wouldn’t let him back upstairs. So 10 minutes of chasing the dog around the very cold backyard in the middle of the night made the next day a little difficult, but I still made it out of the house on time the next morning. Sleepy, but on time. But that wasn’t the end of it. Even though I took Riley for a short walk that morning, then let him upstairs while I showered and got ready for work, and then took him back downstairs to let him out before I left while John got ready for work, he still peed in the dining room after I left and before John came down. Why? Why not?