A lesson in how to overuse parentheses in a single paragraph

Remember how I ordered stuff from Athleta on that one day everything was on super-sale?  Well, one thing was supposed to arrive by this Friday (the Friday that hasn’t gotten here yet), and the other four things weren’t supposed to arrive until the 14th.  Last night (Tuesday night), we heard a knock on our door (which pretty much always makes us cringe and consider pretending no one is home – don’t bother us!  We’re very anti-social, and we don’t like surprise visits!  Also, we don’t have a peephole!  I’m opening that door blind every time!  Granted, we have a keypad lock on the front door of the house, but still!  Enough with the exclamation points!  Gah!), and when we opened it, our upstairs neighbor handed me a package.  Yay stuff!  It was from Athleta, early no matter what it was, and I assumed it was the first item arriving a few days early.  I was wrong!  (I know you didn’t see that coming.  It’s so rare.)  The package contained my other four things, to my excitement.

I was ultimately disappointed (a little – I’ll be okay).  Everything fits, and I’m going to keep them, but I ordered on-sale clothes that are much more suited for the spring/fall temperatures we were enjoying before this week.  I didn’t think that through.  Winter has set in, and I won’t be wearing 3-quarter sleeve shirts, tank tops, or sleeveless dresses for quite a while.  Not sure where my brain went – I bought a sleeveless dress on New Year’s Day.  But the fifth thing (that’s supposed to arrive Friday) is pants!  …Lightweight…pants…

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