I anticipated smelly poopy diapers (and the smellier ones still to come) and diaper blowouts and getting peed on. I anticipated (to a certain extent) having days where I can’t make it into the shower and everything I’m wearing is something I wore the day before and then slept in AND has spit-up on it. I did NOT anticipate the baby spitting up on me WHILE NURSING and then getting squirmy-yelly-mad when I insist on a 20-second break to mop us both up. Ew, baby. I know you ate that once, but it’s not better the second time around.
(See what I did there, Mom and Dad? His first word isn’t destined to be “gross”.)