Me: 1, Bug: Dead

This morning, at before-the-sun-comes-up early, I went into the bathroom and found a bug in my bathtub.  I froze.  It froze.  It might be scary that it, you know, SAW me and froze, but at least it gave me time to think.  Normally, I would grab a shoe and crush the hell out of it, but it was 6am and John had been up with Jack from 4ish to 5:30ish.  Both were finally asleep again – if I smashed the bug to make myself feel better, I might wake them both up.

This wasn’t just any bug.  It’s called a house centipede, I think.  You’re welcome to google it.  I did that once, and I’m never doing it again.  This one’s body was as long as my thumb, and then it had legs.  LOTS of legs, long and skinny, and it raises its body up on those legs, which is WAY scarier than slithering round with its belly on the floor.

I figured I could trap it under my water glass and get John’s help to deal with it once he got up, or at least wait until everyone else woke up so I could beat the crap out of it with a shoe.  So I poured my water onto it.  That got it moving (shudder), and it skittered in my direction.  I did NOT squeal or yelp or make any other noises (except there might possibly have been some uncontrollable muttered swearing), and I DID manage to turn my glass upside down over it and trap it inside.  It stopped moving, and I grabbed what I needed and left.

I worked for a while, not thinking about the bug, and then I went back upstairs a little after seven to get in the shower.  THE SHOWER IS SEPARATE FROM THE TUB.  It’s important to point that out.  I was NOT going to climb into that bathtub.

I used my caps too soon.

THE BUG WAS NO LONGER UNDER THE GLASS.  Luckily, it was still in the tub, near the glass, and it was kind of curled in a c-shape and not moving.  Maybe it hurt itself getting out from under the glass.  Maybe (likely) the edges of the glass weren’t flush against the tub, since it isn’t a perfectly flat surface.

It was time to get John.  I would do the killing, but I thought I might need backup if I still wanted to do it quietly so I wouldn’t wake Jack up.  The timing worked out pretty well.  John was awake, and Jack woke up while I was telling John about the bug, so I brought Jack in to hang out with John and grabbed a shoe.

Meanwhile, in the Batcave bathtub, the &$*^#%@ bug had moved again.  But now, fully awake and without worries about waking others, and, most importantly, armed with a big-ass shoe, I was ready to take this thing down.

So I smashed it.  One hit, no skittering, left a flattened bug with two little legs waving.  An excessive amount of toilet paper was needed to gather up the remains, and then bye-bye bug.

I win!


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