Looking for sleep opportunities

Jack’s morning nap today was in my arms.  Usually, once he falls asleep, I take a couple of minutes (at least) to gaze adoringly at the sweet cuddly baby before I open my book or close my eyes.  This morning, I’m pretty sure I was asleep before he was.  I certainly don’t have any memory of his sleeping face.  I am SO TIRED.  Wednesday night wasn’t quite as bad as last Monday, but it was bad enough (he was awake from 2am to 5).

I can’t even write about it without yawning.

I don’t need sleep anymore

For the first time in a long time, like months, we had a really bad night with Jack.  He’s fine, and he was fine during the night.  He was just, you know, awake.  He went to bed like normal, pretty easily.  He was asleep in the crib before 7:30.  He woke up about 3 and a half hours later, just before 11pm.  We had JUST climbed into bed.  I hadn’t even put my book down yet.  John changed his diaper, and then I tried to nurse him back to sleep.  For most of an hour.  He didn’t go to sleep, so I stood up and held him, trying to sway him to sleep.  He’d put his head down, then shift it, then shift it again.  I thought it was going to work, but then he started to squirm and protest, so I sat back down with him and tried to nurse him to sleep again.  No luck, repeat of the almost-settling on my shoulder, and then around 12:30 I texted John to come in and try, since he usually has really good luck getting him to sleep on his shoulder.  Not that night – Jack was having none of it.  Less than 15 minutes later, I was nursing him again, thinking super-sleepy thoughts at him, but it still didn’t work.  Around 1:30, maybe a little before, I tagged John back in, but Jack just didn’t want to sleep.  John put him in his crib and stayed nearby – Jack happily crawled in circles on the mattress for half an hour.  So a little before 2am, it was back to nursing (and another diaper change) for us.  Then I tried the crib thing.  He giggled and wanted to play.  I tried reading to him from outside the crib, but the light from the kindle fascinated him.  I tried lying down on the floor next to the crib, but he kept babbling at me and reaching through the slats to poke me.  Then around 2:30 John texted me to suggest we take him for a drive.

YES.  BRILLIANT.  LET’S DO THAT TWO HOURS AGO.

Jack was asleep within 20 minutes, and we were in bed by 3:15.

Was Jack kind enough to sleep in since he was awake for four hours in the middle of the night and we hadn’t yet gotten ANY sleep?  Um, no.  No, he was not.  We all got up at 7am that morning.  That’s less than four hours for me and John, for anyone too tired to do the math.  Jack at least got that first 3 and a half hours.

Next question: why am I up NOW, at 10pm, with that in my recent history?

Hm.

I thought I’d have more time!

Nursing Jack, wonderful in itself, has been especially great because it’s time I’ve been able to read.  Even if only for 5-10 minutes, I get to read multiple times a day.  Lately…not so much.  I’m still nursing him as much as ever, but he rarely settles down and just eats anymore.  Instead, he does gymnastics.  Or parkour.  Sometimes he ends up practically upside down.  I need both hands, making it pretty difficult to read.  He does it almost every time, even before bed and in the middle of the night, and especially before naps, and once he settles into sleep, I’m getting him into the crib pretty quickly.  I am NOT complaining about him napping in the crib instead of on me – that is WONDERFUL and HELPFUL and I use that time to get work done so I don’t have to work as late at night.  Occasionally (okay, all the time), I wish I were holding him for a nap instead because he’s so cuddly and warm and sweet, but really, he sleeps longer in the crib, and we all need that.  A napping baby is a charming, adorable, and funny baby who sleeps better at night.

What was my point?

Right.

So I lost my nursing/reading time to acrobatics, and I have to use napping time for work (like, ahem, right now).  I try to read in bed at night, but that’s not working, either.  For the last five nights in a row I’ve done that thing where you’re reading and then you wonder why you can’t see your book anymore and you realize your eyes are closed and when you open them the words on the page don’t look at all familiar so you go back a page or two and try again but then, whoops, you can’t see the book anymore and who flipped ahead to that page and oh, crap, I’m just going to go to sleep.

Everything is blurry

There must be a trick to transferring a sleeping baby from your arms to the crib, but the internet won’t tell me what it is.  I get a lot of “put the baby down sleepy but not asleep so he can learn to put himself to sleep”, but 1) he still falls asleep nursing, so that’s harder than it seems, and 2) he screams when he hits the mattress whether he’s sleepy or sleeping, so drowsy disappears fast.

He does sleep at night, so it’s not like we can’t get him to sleep in the crib at all, but bedtime is the most stressful time of day for me.  The last two nights (three? too tired to remember), it was John who was able to put him down quietly, so we’re going to keep going with that and hope it works.  Of course, that limits bedtime and will eventually get us into trouble.  Eventually being in two weekends, when John is out of town.

Fun times ahead.

Connecticut seems small but OH MY GOD IT NEVER ENDS.

Things I should do now that I’m home:

  • Unpack suitcases
  • Start laundry
  • Put the car snacks away
  • Put the presents away
  • Pick up the random clutter we left behind in our hurry to get out the door Friday night
  • Clean up the dripping mess we tracked on the floor inside the back door because our landlord didn’t send anyone to shovel or salt the driveway or the back steps.

Things I’m going to do because it took us 6 and a half hours to get home instead of 5 because I-95 SUCKS:

  • Sit in a chair.
  • Eat the Chinese food that will be delivered any minute or so I hope because the car ride took forever and I’m hungry.
  • Sit in the chair some more.
  • Look at the wall because I’m too tired to brain.
  • Stop looking at the wall and try to watch some TV that doesn’t require concentration.

Okay, I might clean up the mess by the back door.  There’s a towel RIGHT THERE.  I can manage that, as long as I’m waiting for food.

Too…tired…to…brain

Back home, thoroughly exhausted, and there’s a fancy party in Newport tonight.  We’re going with John’s parents, and I’m afraid I might not have the eyelid strength needed to keep both eyes open past 8pm.  Maybe one at a time, but not both together.  If anyone there takes pictures, I’ll be the one in the background winking.

I have the olds

We’ve had a really good, really fun few days, but oh my god the late nights.  I’m SO TIRED.  On Thursday, we were up past midnight because Greg and Amanda and the kids were passing through on their way to Boston.  We had a great time (and saw them again for an hour the next day before they left), but we didn’t go to bed until late and then the goddamn steam heat banged through the radiator at 3 in the morning, and we still worked on Friday.  Friday night wasn’t too late, but Saturday night we met Dan (from high school with John) and Lindsay for dinner and didn’t get to bed until nearly 3am, and then we were awake by 8am Sunday morning (I don’t know why), and then we were on our feet all day at the Rhode Island Comic Con (which was way fun), and all I want to do is go to sleep.  It’s not even 7:30 right now, but I feel like I’ve been up for days.  I see an early bedtime in my future.

Disaster recovery systems are important

The cloud is not really in the cloud.*  I mean, I knew that – the cloud is really just a server farm (or several server farms) and thus entirely physical and subject to disasters like hurricanes and I’m mentioning this because we’re using PODS to move our stuff across the country and they’re based in Clearwater, FL, and apparently they got destroyed by the hurricane because their phone lines and EVEN THEIR WEBSITE have been completely down since Saturday.  (That run-on sentence was sponsored by my fear that our truck will not arrive tomorrow and we’ll be living on the floor for another week.)  Based on the phone message I heard on Monday, they had deliberately shut down the customer service center Friday to Monday to keep their employees at home, which makes sense.  I can understand and appreciate that.  But they said they’d be back up Tuesday.  They were not.  They still are not, and now it’s Wednesday.  I can’t get a live person, which, again, I can understand considering they’re probably literally underwater, but for the website to still be down?  I can’t log in to my account to see the status of my shipment.  I scheduled it to arrive tomorrow (Thursday, earliest day possible).  Is it still coming tomorrow?  I can’t check.  I can’t call anyone to check.  Local PODS storage facilities don’t have local numbers.  All numbers route to FL, where there are only unhelpful recordings and hang-ups, and all web URLs route to the Hurricane Irma page they put up.

UPDATE!  All of the above was written earlier today, when I had been trying to contact PODS for three days.  This evening, I checked again and the website was back up!  With a message saying their phone center is open again!  And that they’d be prioritizing existing customers!  Unfortunately, I didn’t see that until after their call center was closed for the day, but I logged in to our account (yay!) to find no new information (boo).  It says our POD is due to arrive at the local storage center before 9/13.  That’s today.  Did it arrive?  That step doesn’t say it was completed, but is that because there’s a backlog and they haven’t updated the system or did it really not arrive?  It also says they’re going to deliver the POD to our house on the 14th.  That would be tomorrow.  Will it happen?  I can’t say.  The night before they delivered it to us in Eugene, we got a phone call, and email, and an update on our account online giving us a three-hour delivery window.  I have not gotten any of those alerts, and it’s nearly 10pm.

It’s all a mystery that I hope will get resolved tomorrow.  More to come.

*If the computing cloud were actually in the real clouds, this hurricane would have REALLY messed with their systems.

Must start earlier

It’s night #2 of not feeling the blog thing, and I think I can safely say that waiting until after dinner to write is not a great strategy.  Whatever energy I had during the day is gone, completely, and all I want to do is read and go to bed.

This is the summer of binge-watching, so after we watched the entire season of The Crown (loved), we watched the entire season of The OA (disappointing), then all of Doctor Who season 9 (yay), and now we’ve moved on to Iron Fist, the next Netflix Marvel Comics show.  It’s…okay.  The main character is annoying in his naivete, and overall, it’s definitely the weakest of the Netflix Marvel shows.  Still entertaining, though.  I like how all of the shows are connected.

Oh, hey, we saw Wonder Woman last weekend.  The movie wasn’t great (although it’s the most I’ve ever liked Chris Pine in anything, and it was miles better than the other DC movies), but I felt this visceral enjoyment seeing Wonder Woman kick ass during the fight scenes.  I’d watch it again.

Hey, look, even tired I can babble about TV and movies.  Good for me.  Bed for me.  See ya.

Ups and downs

Tuesday night (4th of July) we were up past eleven, watching fireworks from a footbridge over the Willamette River a couple of blocks from our house.  Sounds great, right?  Like one of those experiences we’re all supposed to savor.  Eh.  The fireworks were totally not worth it – uninspired, no music, blocked by trees, washed out by the lights on the bridge and in the park.  Sorry, Eugene, but your fireworks game is weak.

Tonight, two days later, I’m ready to climb into bed at 10 after 8.  The sun hasn’t set yet, and it’s a beautiful night, but I’m so. crazy. tired.  I bet Margaret and Erik will be able to hear me snoring all the way in California.

Life with me is a real roller coaster ride, people.  Better hang on.

But tomorrow, I’ll have rainbows

My laptop is downstairs. I am upstairs. I am in bed, and I’m so comfortable, and I’m so tired, and the AC is on, and the lights are dim, and my eyes are closing, and all of this unnecessary detail means that you don’t get the post about our perfect hike on Saturday or the Seattle crab legs saga I keep forgetting to tell you about or the muddled and confused rant about the Netflix series Anne With An E that I’ve been trying to articulate.

Instead, you get choppy thoughts and one long rambling sentence that is meant to be an apology for…not telling you anything interesting. I’m sorry? Yes. I’m sorry.

Too tired to sleep

I am SO VERY MUCH ENTIRELY TOO OLD for this late night crap.  We didn’t stay for the whole show (we caught a few songs from the headlining band, but then we left), so we got home around 1am and still got up at 6.  I don’t regret it – the Arkells were freakin’ amazing and we were right up against the stage and no, they didn’t pull John up on stage this time, but they didn’t do that bit at all, so it’s okay, and we got to have a nice conversation with the singer after the show, and MAN I love them.  So I don’t regret it, but it’s 8pm on the day after, and my eyes are so tired they hurt.  Hurts to close them, hurts to leave them open.

We met this trio of college girls, friends from high school, who have taken the week off to get together (they don’t go to the same schools) and follow the Arkells and Blossoms (the other band who played last night) from Portland to San Francisco to Coachella.  They were hilariously excited.

Gotta go to bed.  I think tomorrow might be harder than today was.  Because I’m old.

Early bedtimes are a must this week

I am sore and tired and sore and tired and sore and tired and can I have another day off please?  Yesterday’s workout caught up to me this morning.  I was going to go to a 9:15 yoga class this morning, but I could barely lift my arms over my head and that would have made yoga difficult.  Also, any balancing would have been just impossible because I’m SO TIRED I can’t see straight.  John had a gig last night, and it went late, and then it went later, and then they finally took the stage, and then it was even later because Daylight Saving Time started last night, so it was 3:30 in the morning before I crawled into bed.  Stupid spring forward.  Yoga at 9:15 didn’t have a chance.

So it’s 8:15 on a Sunday night, which technically should feel like 7:15 on a Sunday night, but as far as I’m concerned it feels like midnight on a Sunday night and I really need to be sleeping.

Zzzzzzzzzzz

I get up early every day, and I’m tired first thing in the morning, but I usually get over it pretty quickly.  Today was not like that.  John drove Molly back to Portland last night, spent the night there, and drove back this morning after dropping her off at the airport.  I didn’t go because I had stupidly scheduled a ton of meetings (two with customers) for this morning, and I couldn’t reschedule them at the last minute (and one was at 5:30am).  Instead, I stayed home, stayed up later than I should have, woke up at 2am, woke up at 4am, woke up at 4:36am, and then stayed awake until my alarm went off at 5.  Then I snoozed for 10 minutes because of course I did.  I have been fighting yawns and heavy eyelids all day.  I rescheduled my riding lesson because I don’t think I could stay on in this condition, and I think I’m going to skip yoga because no one wants to hear me snore when they’re supposed to be finding their breath in the first five minutes of class.

The only thing that’s keeping me going right now is that it’s nice out for the first time in days and I want to run.  It might be more like crawling, but at least I’ll get some sunshine.  Then I can go to bed.

Can’t brain today

Staring blankly at the screen is not going to make an idea appear.  It’s like watching a pot, and MAN that was a hard one for me to think up.  First sentence written, second sentence totally blocked.  I got stuck on the pot adjective.  It’s like watching what KIND of pot?  What describes the pot?  This is a saying – “like watching a _____ pot” – what’s the missing word?

Oh, right.

A watched pot.  Totally screwed up that idiom.  (You’re an idiom.  Your MOM’S an idiom.)  I think maybe I need some sleep.  6am felt earlier today than usual, and work felt more overwhelming, and I went to yoga for the first time in a week, and I could feel it, and 6am is going to come even earlier tomorrow, so I’m out.  Me and my watched pot are going to bed.

How is this STILL a problem for me?!?

I just don’t get it.  We have lived in Oregon, on the west coast, in the Pacific time zone, for ten months now, and I STILL get thrown by the time zone difference with the east coast.  STILL.  Like, it just happened, just now, not 30 seconds ago.

I’m sitting at my work laptop, which I deliberately keep on eastern time because it’s helpful during the work day.  I don’t usually write from here, but it was on, and I’m lazy.  I’m also TIRED, which is why, when I glanced at the clock on the corner and it said 11:55pm, I thought to myself, No wonder I’m tired.  It’s MIDNIGHT.  What am I still doing up?  Yeah, NO.  It’s 9pm.  It’s not that late.  I have plenty of reasons to be tired – I’ve been up since 5:45, I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately, and I think I’m getting sick again – but it being midnight is not one of them.  BECAUSE IT’S NOT MIDNIGHT.

More rescheduling is needed

Today is our anniversary (16 years), but we’re going to postpone it for at least day.  Or maybe just extend it?  Whatever works.  We got up at 4am this morning, drove to the airport, got on flight 1 of 2 (which I slept through – yay exhaustion), had a quick layover in Minneapolis, and then got on flight 2 of 2 to Portland.  We got home around 4:30 (which felt like 7:30), then had to run back out to the store for milk so we can have tea tomorrow because neither of us is 100% yet.  Actually, I’m a total mess (although I think I feel better overall).  I look like I’m about to turn zombie.  I went to Urgent Care Tuesday afternoon because the bottom half of my left eye is solid red, and after about 30 seconds (if that), the doctor I saw announced I have pinkeye and prescribed antibiotic drops.  I’m taking them even though I’m not convinced I have pinkeye or that it’s not the viral kind, but they’re making the skin under my eye yellow like a fading bruise, so actually, I look like a zombie who’s being abused by her spouse.  This is how I traveled today.  With my glasses on, of course.  No contacts allowed right now.  I might be going back to my own doctor tomorrow.

Anyway, today isn’t a good day to celebrate our anniversary because of the zombie problem and the travel exhaustion, so we’ll try again tomorrow.  Tonight we’re having pie for dinner and watching A Royal Night Out and then sleeping until a train wakes us up.

Crossing time zones is exhausting

We’re back home from a trip to PA and MD that included a very cool anniversary dinner and quality time with our new nephew, and I will tell you all about those things, but not tonight.

Goal: get back to regular posting

Deadline: ….soon

Right now: sleep

We got up at 4am this morning so we could leave the house at 4:45am so we could be at the Philadelphia airport by 6am so we could get on a plane at 7am.  We landed in Portland (after a stop in Denver) at 1pm, which felt like 4pm, and then we had to drive back to Eugene, where we stopped at the grocery store before finally getting home about 4:30pm, which felt like 7:30pm.  Now it’s 7pm but it feels like 10pm, and I’ve been awake for 18 hours and traveling for 14 of them, and I’m going to stop typing now and go to sleep.

I am VERY happy to be home.  I love our bed.  It’s better than every other bed.  All of them.

Next time won’t you sing with me

In the airport again (LaGuardia this time), same deal with only 30 minutes of free WiFi.  Whatever, airports.

In the same vein, we got here, following the signs to Terminal C to check in for American Airlines.  Got our boarding passes for gate D-something.  The guy who took our bags said we had to go to Terminal B for the D-gates.  Don’t terminals usually have the same letter as the gates?  So we checked in at C and got a shuttle to go to B to get on a plane at D.  I am now reciting my ABCs.

It’s not THAT confusing (we made it to the gate, after all), but I’m cruising on very little sleep over the last few days.  Saturday started early, with a long day of travel and a late night when we arrived.  We didn’t have to get up especially early Sunday, Monday, or today, but I slept pretty badly.  The hotel walls were thin, there was constant activity in the hallways, and the pillows SUCKED.  They looked all fluffy and nice, but they flattened into nothing as soon as you put your head down and the air squeezed out.  My neck hurts.  Plus all the emotions and the public face on the whole time and I’m. So. Tired.

We land in Portland at 7:30pm local, but then we have to get our car and drive home, so it’ll be 10pm at the earliest before we get home.  Probably closer to 11.  And tomorrow morning has to start on time, so there will be no sleeping in until Saturday.  On the plus side, there’s no one to tell me I can’t go to bed at 6pm tomorrow night or every night the rest of this week, and Saturday isn’t that far away.