I decided not to say anything

I was going to comment on how the mugginess of late summer/early fall here in a house without air conditioning means that gear that gets sweaty and, like, towels don’t always feel completely dry after 24 hours, but I decided that it would sound like I’m complaining, and I’m not, so I won’t.

I was going to say something about how our bedroom is set up in a weird way so that our bed either goes under windows, leaving no room for a dresser (not if we want to be able to open the drawers) or against a wall between two doors, leaving no room for bedside tables so there’s no place for reading lights or glasses of water or even our phones except to put them on the floor, but really that’s an opportunity for us to go find a headboard that has a shelf on it, which we’ve wanted for a long time, so it’s not even a complaint and it’s not worth mentioning.

I was going to mention that I’m not crazy about working until 5pm again – what happened to my afternoons? – but it’s the end of the government fiscal year right now and everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off, so long (or at least normal) hours are to be expected, and then I remembered that starting work at 9 instead of 6 means I can exercise in the morning again, which I LOVE, so this is a schedule change I can live with.  Especially since I think I can shift back to earlier hours (maybe 7 to 3?) once it starts getting dark and cold in the early mornings, and then I’ll prefer to run later anyway, so it all works out, and I don’t see the point of bringing it up.

I guess I don’t have anything to say.

Hee

The other morning I stopped to watch some rowers on the Seekonk River.  There was an 8-person shell out there, moving relatively slowly, while some guy, I presume the coach, was standing in a nearby launch, shouting at them through a bullhorn.  I couldn’t make out most of what he was saying, but it appears he enunciates more when he’s irritated.

“Mwah mwah mwah mwah except for Josh. LOOK AT ME, JOSH.  Mwah mwah mwah.”

A few minutes later, the launch went back to the boathouse and then came back out escorting another 8-person shell.

“Mwah-mwah-mwah wah.  Then Warwick will pick it up. WARWICK! DON’T STOP. Mwah mwah.”
I’m glad I’m not  Josh or Warwick.

I have a desk!

I remembered where we put the screws first thing this morning, as we were walking to Starbucks.  They were in the toolbox because OF COURSE they were in the toolbox.  Now I have a desk AND a chair and they’re both set up in my brand new office with lots of windows that would be letting in all the sunlight if we weren’t in the middle of a rainy day.

Also, the pod is gone, our own washer and dryer are hooked up, and now we just have to figure out how to arrange the rooms.  Also also, I still have to work full-time.  Where’s my lottery jackpot?

Lutheran Insulter

Apparently this website has been around since 2012, but it came to my attention today because next month is the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation.

Go here to check out the Lutheran Insulter.

Some favorites of mine:

“It is the old dragon from the abyss of hell who is standing before me!”

“You are a brothel-keeper and the devil’s daughter in hell.”

“You no longer have, as you did several centuries ago, a cunning devil spurring you on, but a palpable blockhead, a crude devil, who in his malice can no longer disguise himself.”

“Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed that I cannot believe you understand them.”

My friend Chastity wants to put that last one in her email signature.  She doesn’t think anyone will notice.

Too many nights in hotels

Speaking of hotel oddities, there was this gem in the hotel in Wisconsin.

Too bad for the people in room 121.  Our room in Erie, PA is quite nice, although the bathroom door doesn’t close all the way. There’s always something. We’re in the type of hotel I stayed in the night I walked into a dresser and tore my toenail off (three years ago in Philadelphia) so I’m going to be extra careful when I get up in the middle of the night. My toenail has STILL not fully recovered.

A little friend

Updated with Instagram link.

When we moved to Oregon, Will and Christina gave us a keychain with a little 10th Doctor. Now that we’re leaving, Li’l DT is sharing our adventures.  In a fun twist, he has become OUR companion.

Most of the fun is happening in real time on my Instagram feed (which anyone can see online, without an account, by looking up zannah42 on Instagram.com), but I’ll probably compile the pictures here once we get there.

Here, I’ll make it easy for you.  Go here.  You’ll see the captions (because I always include captions) if you click on an individual picture.

Today is going to be a weird one

I slept with my contacts in last night.  I feel like that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the day.  I dreamed I had to make pancakes at school, and I was going to be graded both on how good they were AND what terms I was able to get for the mortgage I got for them.  I was worried because I was the last in the class during the taste test and my pancakes were going to be cold.  I was not worried about the mortgage.  While I was waiting for my turn, I found out that the entire school was out of coffee and I had to drink ice water, which I promptly spilled on my slippers – because I was wearing slippers at school – so I had to go barefoot.

To recap: I slept with my contacts in and then had a weird restless night with weird restless dreams.  Oh, and we’re basically in the path of totality for today’s eclipse.  If you don’t hear from me again, it’s because our alien overlords took me away under cover of darkness, decided I was too stupid to keep (since I can’t remember to take my contacts out at night), and left me to wander in the wilderness.

Ups and downs

Tuesday night (4th of July) we were up past eleven, watching fireworks from a footbridge over the Willamette River a couple of blocks from our house.  Sounds great, right?  Like one of those experiences we’re all supposed to savor.  Eh.  The fireworks were totally not worth it – uninspired, no music, blocked by trees, washed out by the lights on the bridge and in the park.  Sorry, Eugene, but your fireworks game is weak.

Tonight, two days later, I’m ready to climb into bed at 10 after 8.  The sun hasn’t set yet, and it’s a beautiful night, but I’m so. crazy. tired.  I bet Margaret and Erik will be able to hear me snoring all the way in California.

Life with me is a real roller coaster ride, people.  Better hang on.

Some blathering

I gave myself a papercut just below the nail on my middle finger while wrapping a present.  That’ll teach me to buy presents for people.

Why would I say “I gave myself” the papercut?  I got a papercut.  The vindictive wrapping paper gave me the papercut.  It was revenge for the scissors use.

Inanimate objects around here have agendas.  I have to be on alert.

I have posters and things to hang on walls.  We’re moving in less than three months.  Seems silly to hang things up now.  Might do it anyway.  Just not today.

Bump in the night

It’s hard to see in the dark: a true story.

The light switch for the stairs is at the top of the stairs.  The door to our bedroom is not by the stairs.  The door to our room is closed because it’s the only room with A/C.

Tonight, just a few minutes ago, I stood at the top of the stairs, hand on the light switch, eyes locked on the doorknob.  I turned off the light and walked the four steps to the door with my hand reaching out for the doorknob.

I missed.  I didn’t miss the door – I found the door with my forehead, bending forward to find the doorknob.  I’m pretty sure the doorknob moved out of the way.

Disposable Income

I finally figured out the level of rich I’m aiming for.  I don’t need a big house or fancy cars, but I want a staff.  I’ll pay them well, of course – I want them to be happy and comfortable, too.

  • I want a personal shopper/stylist/tailor.  One person who can do it all or three people or whatever – the end result is a closet full of tailored clothes that look great on me.  If the person also does hair and make-up, bonus.
  • I want a personal trainer/nutritionist to help me with my workouts and my diet.  Help me be healthy!
  • I want a personal chef.  I don’t like to cook (or shop for groceries), and someone is going to have to prepare the nutritious meals my nutritionist says I should eat.

All of those titles start with “personal”.  Maybe that goes without saying when my premise is that I have a staff of people to help me out.

John reminded me that I also want a gardener. YES!  I want a gardener.  And of course, this staff would be OURS not mine.  Of course.  I can share.

Giggles

I heard Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” on the radio today.  I’ve always liked the song (video at the end, if you need it), but since that one Friends episode, I can’t help but laugh when he does his signature vocal move.

I like the way she laughs at him.

Also, I’m totally jealous of his eyebrow raise. I can’t do that.

Here’s the song.  If you’re familiar with it, you know what I’m talking about.  If you’re not, he does it on the chorus, first time at 0:52 in the video.

There isn’t an ocean too deep

Today was a good day for a bike ride.  One that I am out of shape for.  (My butt is not too crazy about me right now, and my legs only stopped burning 20 minutes ago.)

John had an idea of where he wanted to go, so I said, “I will follow you,” out loud, to his back as we took off, and for the next half hour, I had Little Peggy March’s “I Will Follow Him” in my head.  I didn’t have headphones, I didn’t even have my phone, and we were going too fast to chat.  I had only my brain to save me, and oh, brain, you failed.  Little Peggy March faded to Sister Act, back to Tiny Peg, back to Whoopi not measuring up to her choir, and all the while, I was resisting the urge to be the crazy person pedaling madly after a man, singing “He is my destiny!” at the top of my lungs.

Ghosts begone!

Despite what I said yesterday, I think our house might be haunted.  Remember the mysterious cracked glass from last summer?

I still don’t know how it cracked in a nearly perfect horizontal circle like that while sitting in the cabinet.

Last night, I was drying dishes and putting them away, and I noticed that John’s favorite giant glass, the one he uses when he makes iced coffee, was standing up in the cabinet but had completely cracked in two, vertically.

What is happening?  Should I be worried?  Do we have tricksy creatures sneaking around at night?

Definitely not real

I don’t believe in ghosts.  Ghost stories and scary movies scare me (The Sixth Sense freaked me the hell out), but I don’t actually believe in ghosts.  That didn’t stop my heart from leaping into my throat tonight when I saw a pale face lit by a ghostly light in the parking lot near my car.  Half a second later I realized it was a kid looking at a phone, sitting on the curb, wearing a black sweatshirt – his head was totally floating in the dark.  Adrenaline rush: check.  Ghost: nope.

What’s the opposite of “check”?  Do you say “no check”?  Do you say nothing and let the silence tell the person you’re reporting to that you cannot check that item off the list?  Do you get all formal and say “I cannot check this item off the list because it is not complete or does not apply”?  On TV, it’s usually silence, but is there an actual correct answer?  I don’t know how to google that.

I am a problem solver

I’m pretty sure I have complained about the breakfast place that is within easy walking distance from our house and is really good but has TERRIBLE coffee, but I can’t find the post.  I’ll complain about it now.  There’s a really good breakfast place within easy walking distance from our house, but it has TERRIBLE coffee.  It’s not about how they’re brewing it.  We really don’t like the beans or the roast or whatever it is about a specific kind of coffee that makes it taste a certain way.  (Their Bloody Mary is also bad.)

It’s a real bummer since it keeps us from going there all that often.  Today we decided to go anyway, and I have solved the terrible coffee problem!  They also serve chai lattes, and THOSE are DAMN good.  Yay for not screwing up a drink they’re buying premade from somewhere and heating up for me!

When WebMD just doesn’t cut it

The back of my head, at the base, has been sensitive to the touch in one spot for a few days.  I haven’t fallen or smacked my head on the wall or a low ceiling or a car recently (I have to say “recently” – those are all things I have done in the last year).  Not that I remember, anyway.

I guess this is the beginning of the end.  The aliens that burrowed into my brain and have been hiding for years are close to breaking out.  Although why they’d choose to come out the back of my head instead of through my ears or nose like any self-respecting gross killer parasite, I don’t know.  I’m expecting an explosion of bone and brain so, you know, keep your distance if you want to remain unspattered.  I wouldn’t want to be responsible for ruining your favorite outfit.

Two surprises

Something happened to me that has never happened to me before in Eugene, and has only rarely happened to me in other places we’ve lived.

I saw someone I know out in the wild.

And on top of that, she came over to me first!  My facial person was just leaving the dog park, and she saw me stretching, so she came over to say hi.  And I met her dog.  I’ve said this before, but I almost NEVER run into people I know when I’m just out, and in a year, I’ve never seen anyone I know in Eugene.  I suppose that could be because I hardly know anyone in Eugene, so the odds are against it.  But it was nice!  And only mildly awkward!

So that was surprise #1.  Surprise #2 was this gadget I saw on my way home, one whose inventor was BRILLIANT and should win prizes.

Look, Ma, no training wheels!  The dad was riding slowly ahead on his bike, the little kid was teetering along on his, and the mom was walking behind the kid, ready to grab the handle (which she did a couple of times).

I never liked training wheels.  Too unsteady.  And this is way handier than grabbing the back of the seat, right?  So yeah, I am overcome by the brilliance of this simple idea.