Inane Chatter

I just got back from yoga.  It was good, but…  Heh.  More like, it was good, butt…  My yoga instructor had us put our mats up against the wall.  Most of the room is mirrored, so my back was up against the mirror, facing her in the middle of the room.  Then we went into down dog.  Hands and feet on the mat, butt high up in the air, head hanging down.  Because my head was down and my neck was relaxed, I was looking at my legs.  More specifically, I was looking through my legs, between my thighs.  At the mirror.  Where I had a fantastic view of my butt.  And it looked eNORmous.  I’m telling myself it was an optical illusion.  My butt’s not THAT big, right?  Anyone?

On second thought, don’t answer that.

Yesterday was a weird day.  It started fine.  I got a ton of stuff done at work in the morning and I left to take my statistics midterm with plenty of time to finish it.  Except it wasn’t enough time.  I got about halfway done in TWO HOURS and then the testing center closed (it’s Spring Break) and I had to leave it unfinished.  (I emailed my professor.  We’ll see.)  Then I had a ridiculously strange conversation with the checkout lady at Wegmans when I ran in to pick up dinner (I was talking about knee highs.  She was talking about tampons.  She must have thought I was insane.), and when I got home I wasn’t in the mood to do ANYthing.  It was such a huge contrast to the day before.  When I got home from the gym Wednesday night, I felt like I could climb mountains.  You know why?  I’ll tell you why.  But wait – I need some space.  This is big and needs its own paragraph.

For the first time in my life – this is no exaggeration – I touched my toes.  Even when I was little, even when I was in high school and so skinny I could hurt people with my hip bones (those days are long gone), I couldn’t do that.  I faked it in the Navy – we were sitting down and I could lunge for my toes twice a year.  But this, this was real.  (I’m a purist.)  This was standing up, folding forward, and reaching.  And I. Touched. My. Toes.

Go me.  Go yoga.

This may come as no surprise (although who knows what I’ve been writing about lately), but I’m trying to eat healthier, and while eating less goes along with that, today was a little ridiculous.  And not remotely balanced.  Not on purpose – it just worked out that way.  I got up at 5 this morning because I had to leave the house by 6 to get to Baltimore on time (with a stop for gas and Starbucks).  It was 5:50 by the time I made it downstairs showered and dressed.  Not enough time for breakfast.  Barely enough time to make a sandwich for lunch.  So I ate a fig newton.  A whole grain fig newton, yes, but only one.  In my defense, it was way too early to eat.  So I left the house on time (well, five minutes late, but who’s counting since I got to Baltimore with 15 minutes to spare?), stopped for gas, got my calorie-dense and not at all healthy toffee nut white mocha latte (But it’s made with skim milk!  And I don’t get whipped cream!  Too little, too late.), and went to work.

Small tangent.  When I got to the shopping center with the Starbucks, the twinkle lights were still on in the trees.  Like it was still night.  I mean, I get that it was dark enough to still be night, but I don’t want to feel like I could be on my way to a dinner out when it’s really after 6am and I have to go to work.  Not cool, shopping center.

It's the worst picture ever, but you get the idea.

Anyway, it was a busy day at work, and I ate my peanut butter and jelly sandwich while helping someone organize user lists, and then all of a sudden it was time to drive home.  In the snow.  I had more work to do once I got home, and before I knew it, it was 6pm and I needed to leave for the gym by 6:15.  Dinner?  Not really happening.  So I ate the two fig newtons I didn’t eat with my sandwich for lunch.

Let’s recap: in the course of about 12 hours, I ate 3 fig newtons, one peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a Starbucks latte.  And then I went to the gym for 2 hours.  This is not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.  It turned out okay (I wasn’t starving, no passing out, all is good), but I came home fairly hungry.  But you know what else you’re not supposed to do?  Eat right before going to bed.  So what did I just do?  Yup.  I ate half a turkey sandwich.  And I forgot my chips!  Damn.  (I was going to put potato chips on the sandwich for crunch.  SO good.  Back me up here, family.)

Anyway, not a good food day.  Yay I didn’t eat very much?  No.  Boo – I didn’t eat enough to keep a normal person alive.  The last thing I need is for my body to think I’m starving myself and to store all that excess fat.  I wish fat would listen to reason.

Stress.  Busy day.  Lots of work done, lots of work to do, not enough time to do it.  And then the realization that I have to take an exam for my data modeling class before Monday.  Almost didn’t go to classes tonight, but was sane enough to remember that one of the things that is stressing me out is my incapability (incapableness?  Lack of capability?  I don’t think any of those are words.) to eat right (I say as I take teeny bits from a piece of Dove chocolate), and I usually feel better after the gym.  So I went.  And I do feel  better.  A little.  But tomorrow is another crazy day (with a long commute with my boss) and it seems to have started already and – no.  Tomorrow is tomorrow.  Not here yet.  Even if I am mentally calculating how many hours of sleep I need before getting up early tomorrow.  (I’m coming up short.)

Yoga’s great for calming me down while I’m in class, but that feeling doesn’t last long enough.

Of course, I’m very rarely anywhere NEAR Kristen Bell’s meltdown level.  This is funny, kinda cute sometimes, and so very weird.

I can’t even count the ways that I am sore.  Last  night was my first night back at my Muscle Blast and yoga classes since Thanksgiving.  I’m very happy to be back, I really like those classes, but oh my god I hurt so much now.  Every muscle we worked on is screaming at me.  The aches sorta crept in one by one throughout the day, but they’re all here now.  Hi everybody!  Now go away.

I spent the entire day in a tiny little room with my boss (plus an hour and a half each way in a car with her to get to that tiny little room).  I need some space.  I need some alone time.  And I need some sleep.

You know what’s awesome?  Tomorrow’s Friday and it’s the beginning of a three-day weekend!  You know what’s awesome-er than awesome?  The first season (well, the 2005 season) of Doctor Who arrived in the mail yesterday!  With extras and commentary and lots of hours of Doctor and Rose goodness.

Does anyone know where we can find the last season of Torchwood (the season set in the US) online?  It was on Netflix for a little while, but it’s gone now.

My plan for the weekend:

1. Do my homework (I have an assignment due for Data Modeling and Design)
2. Finish Faithful Place
3. Start The Hunger Games
4. Exercise
5. Grocery store
6. Blah blah other boring things
7. Oh, also SLEEP

I don’t have a fear of crowds.  I don’t have a fear of speaking or performing in front of people.  Right now, though, I can’t seem to make myself go back to my gym classes.  I haven’t been in about four weeks (I’ve been to the gym plenty, thank you very much, but only to work out on my own), and even though I really like those classes and I really like the people who take them and teach them, I don’t want to see them.  I’m hiding.  My plan for this afternoon was to stop working around four, go get my nails done, and get back to the gym in time for Muscle Blast and then yoga.  Four came along, and I found myself procrastinating.  Why would I do that?  Why would I waste time when I could be at the nail salon?  The later it got, the less likely it became that I’d have time to get my nails done in time to make it to class.  And then I started trying to decide which I would rather do if I only have time for one.  And then I realized that it’s the Wednesday before Christmas and I haven’t wrapped any presents yet.  If I don’t do some (or all) of it tonight, I’ll only have tomorrow evening to get it done, and really, where are  my priorities?  The gym will still be there tomorrow morning (for weights) and tomorrow lunchtime (for cardio) (same for Friday), and if I have time, I can still get my nails done.  And if I don’t have time, who cares?  They can wait.  Or I can – brace yourselves – do them myself.

So the anxiety I was feeling about going to the gym morphed into anxiety about my to do list, and I’ve sent it all away by deciding to wrap presents and watch TV and drink wine until John gets home (from another office Christmas party).  I win!

Nice thing #1: Manicures.  I had one the other day.  Tuesday.  I feel much better now that my nails aren’t in danger of tearing/breaking or hurting someone (myself included).  Also, they’re pretty.  And neat.  Toes are next on the agenda (maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday).  I didn’t have time to do both on Tuesday.

Nice thing #2: Yoga.  I like it.  I’m all relaxed.  Hungry, but that’s what strawberries are for.  My yoga instructor says we shouldn’t drink anything for 15-20 minutes after we’re done because our bodies are detoxifying.  I’m not exactly sure what it means, but I’m always really thirsty when class is over.  Waiting 20 minutes is like torture.  But I was talking about nice things.  Like strawberries.

Nice thing #3: Strawberries.  I bought some when I went shopping on Friday, and oh crap.  It’s been almost a week.  I hope they’re still good.  If they are, that’s dessert.  Dinner was nice thing #4.

Nice thing#4: Whole grain English muffins with cream cheese and strawberry  jam.  Why whole grain?  (That’s what John wants to know.  Why would I ruin a perfectly good idea by buying whole grain English muffins?)  Because that’s what I saw when I was at the store.  I have no ulterior motive.  It’s nice that they’re better for me and they taste essentially the same (especially when covered with cream cheese and strawberry jam), so why fight it?

Okay, people, you can relax now.  The strawberries are fine.  I’m going to eat them.  Right now.  Good night.

Tonight’s random hodge-podge of things I feel compelled to tell/show/say to you is brought to you by Dire Straits, who have gotten stuck between my ears.  It’s mildly uncomfortable.

First, an apology to everyone who let me complain to them today: I’m so very very sorry.  On the phone, in person, over email, I was all bitch, bitch, bitch, and moan, moan moan (with a little bit of whine, whine, whine here and there), and you know what?  You didn’t need to hear that.  No one deserves that.  And it didn’t make me feel better, either, so who benefits?  Exactly.  I’m sorry.

Second, this video is cool (from The Daily What).    I love Disney (I can ignore all the evil corporate stuff because I love the movies), and I LOVE when they release stuff like this.  My edition of Lady and the Tramp shows Peggy Lee singing “He’s a Tramp” (with the guys howling and barking as back-up) intercut with the animated footage.  Fun to watch.

Last, yoga is HARD.  (Yes, broken record, whatever.)  There must be a name for the sequence we start with.  That’s the hardest part, moving from one thing straight to another like that.  If you know the name (I could ask the instructor, but how is that fun?), please tell me.  We start in downward dog, then extend one leg up behind us, then bring it forward into a deep lunge and reach up with our arms (crescent, maybe?), stretch forward, then into a plank and down to the pose that sounds like chupacabra and looks like the down position of a push-up, and then up dog and back to downward dog.  And all over again with the other leg, and we repeat more times that I can keep straight until I fall over.  After I fall over, we move into things I can actually do (kind of) and that don’t hurt (much).  Then we stretch.  I love the stretching part.  And the breathing part.  And now I’m home and I just ate more rice pudding then I meant to and I need to go to bed because I have get up absurdly early again to go back downtown in the morning.  So good night.  I said good night!

My gym is the greatest gym ever.  Six months ago (or so), I asked them if they could add a yoga class that’s held either before or after work.  Early this week (maybe it was late last week – irrelevant), the owner came up to me to let me know that they found an instructor and a space in the schedule and the first class was this week.  Tonight, in fact.  Yay!  And there was quite the turnout, so hopefully it won’t get cancelled due to lack of interest.  There were 10 or 12 of us tonight.  And it was hard.  But I liked it.  And I feel all noodlely.  Noodly.  Hang on while I check the authority on that particular spelling. Right, noodly appendage.  (Link for those who need it.)

…but I recently had two “Are you kidding me?” moments.  One was today.  I usually keep a close eye on the forecast, but for some reason this week, I just haven’t.  John’ll tell you I prefer to trust weather.com than my own arm stuck out the front door.  I didn’t do either of those things today.  I just left the house to go to the store in shorts, a t-shirt, and flip-flops.  It was 60 degrees out, overcast, and breezy.  I was a little chilly.  In my defense, it was 80 yesterday and it isn’t fall yet…  But a guy at Wegmans still totally made fun of me.

My other moment was last weekend, and it was more of the “oh, that really DOES make a difference” kind.  I was helping John unload the IKEA boxes from the car on Saturday, and I usually have a really hard time wrestling with the bookshelf boxes.  Those things are heavy, and in the past, I’ve nearly dropped them on the way into the house because I just couldn’t hold my end up anymore.  Not this time, though.  I wouldn’t say it was easy or that the shelves were light (I certainly can’t carry them on my own), but it was no big deal.  I find it very unlikely that they’ve gotten lighter since my birthday (the last time we bought some), so the only conclusion I can come to is, hey!  Those strength classes I’ve been going to twice a week for the last seven months?  They work!  Amazing, mixed with a little of course they do, ya idiot.

Seriously, could today have been any better?  Only if it had unicorns and sparkles.  And it’s not over yet.  There’s hope.  Sure, we got up super early on a Saturday, but it was only so we could go to the giant used book sale that happens every six weeks in a warehouse in Annapolis.  Worth it.  AND I had a croissant and my favorite candy-coffee from Starbucks for breakfast on the way (tall, skim, no whip white mocha with two pumps of toffee nut – yes, I’m one of those now).  Extra worth the early wake-up.  AND we hung out with Jess while looking for books and then having bagels.  Better than extra worth it.  And THEN we went to IKEA and bought two more bookshelves, upper shelf extensions for those two plus the six at home that didn’t already have them, plus two wall shelves to go over the couch (and hold more books – maybe the graphic novels?).  We’ve spent the afternoon since then putting the shelves and the extension together while watching Law & Order: SVU, and now we’re going to pick up dinner from somewhere and settle in and watch a movie.

A day like today makes me so very happy.  Books, best friend, shelves, dinner, and a movie, a whole day hanging out with John, and sure, I didn’t do any calculus like originally planned, but John and I worked it out on the way home from IKEA.  Today we get the furniture part out of the way and relax a little.  Tomorrow, we’ll run, mow the lawn (it grew, like, two feet in 8 days), and do homework (my calculus, his thesis).  Sunday is the responsible day.

This week was a short week (thank you for Labor Day – I love three-day weekends) that still managed to feel like a regular week, but Friday is finally here.  Tomorrow I get to see Jess at a great big book used book sale and then I’ll spend the rest of the weekend immersed in calculus.  Except for Sunday morning when I have to run.  And except for later Sunday morning when I’ll help John with the lawn, assuming it dries out.  I’ll have to pretend the internet doesn’t exist, I think.  Give it the cold shoulder.  Hope it doesn’t take offense and will let me back in later.  How forgiving is the internet?  I know it never forgets, which is somewhat (a lot) scary.

Used to be, back in the old days, my hair was a pain when I exercised because it was short.  Too short to pull back.  It got in my face and my eyes, and the wind whipped it around while I was running, and was all around annoying.  Then it was long enough to put in a ponytail and everything was fine.  For years, I had no problem with my ponytail.  But for years, I never ran for more than an hour and usually not much more than 40 minutes.  Lately, as my runs get longer, I’m out longer, I’m sweating more (and for longer), and my hair is getting grosser.  My long ponytail gets soaked with sweat and matted and tangled to the point where I can’t get a comb through it.  After 11 miles on Saturday, I had to wash my hair twice, the second time with shampoo that was also a conditioner, before I could get the tangles out.  Not cool.  So I’m searching for a solution.  I need another hairstyle for exercise.  (I’m not quite ready to cut my hair.)  This morning, I pulled it into a ponytail, braided the ponytail, and twisted it into a bun.  The bun wasn’t all that secure, but I only went two miles, so it lasted okay.  And this evening before my strength class, I pulled it back into a regular braid.  Messy, but it was out of the way.  Of course, the strength class doesn’t really present a hair problem.  The issue now (that can probably be resolved with practice) is that I suck at braiding my own hair.  It’s behind my head and I can’t see it, so it’s messy and uneven and HARD.  My arms get tired.  Are there any tricks to this?  Is there something obvious I’m missing (I hope) that makes it easier to braid your own hair or is it just a matter of practicing until it’s easy?  When I try to pull it over one shoulder to finish the braid, the whole thing gets lopsided.  Why do I suck at hair?

This particular Tuesday has a weird vibe.  It’s just after 10:30am.  I’ve been to the gym and joined two conference calls (a daily occurrence now – who the hell wants to start every day with two conference calls?).  Neither of those things are out of the ordinary.  I had some coffee.  Haven’t eaten anything yet, which may be contributing to the feeling (I can hear a croissant whispering my name), but what else?

Part 1: The windows are open.  It’s August.  It’s supposed to be hot and sticky and grossly muggy.  I’m not complaining – I’m thrilled to hear the breeze in the trees and the summer insects buzzing or droning or cricketing or whatever is they do, thrilled to have turned the A/C off for the first time in months.  It’s just weird.  Makes it feel like early fall and I’m not quite ready for early fall.

Part 2: I’ve already talked to Mom and Dad.  Before breakfast!  It’s throwing my whole schedule off.

Part 3: I have gotten things DONE already.  Left messages, rescheduled appointments, refilled prescriptions…I’m on a roll.

[Several hours later]

I was on a roll.  A few hours ago, the sunlight was mid-morning fresh, the birds were chirping, and the breeze was breezing.  Since then, I’ve gotten bogged down in the things I’m supposed to be doing (I was doing them before, but everything was light! and cheerful! and oh, what a beautiful morning!), the cool fresh air that was tickling my elbows turned hot, and the sunlight turned stale.

I can still turn this around.  There’s time.  The solution?  Lunch!  A turkey sandwich with cucumber slices on toast.  Seriously.  I don’t think I’m asking too much of one sandwich.  I get cranky when I’m hungry.  Lunch will save the day.

I cannot begin to describe how worn out I am.  We were up way late (for us – like 1am) last night and slept in as late as we could before work today.  Not long enough.  So we were dragging when we woke up.  I worked from home today, and while the morning was fine, the afternoon was frustrating and what little energy I had from my morning tea wore off pretty quickly.  I went to the gym this evening for my strength class, and the instructor tried to kill us.  She had us jumping from exercise to exercise, targeting two muscle groups at once, no breaks.  Our heart rates were up and I was STILL yawning.  It’s almost 7:30.  If I’m not in bed by nine, I might not make it through tomorrow.

Even with all that, I don’t regret last night.  We had dinner with friends we see less than once a year, friends who were just passing through on their way south, and if it means a day like today, well, okay.  Worth it.

Who can resist those beautiful brown eyes?

He’s reminding me that I should be paying attention to him who adores me and not so much to the computer.  I’ll be right there, Doggy-dog.

I love Tom and Lorenzo.  They make fun of people in the most delightful way.

That appears to be all I have to say today.  Oh, wait.

This week, from an I-was-better-about-doing-the-things-I-need-to-be-doing perspective, has been much better than last week.  Last week was all about keeping weird and stupid hours, not getting enough sleep, eating like a piggy little pig, and NOT EXERCISING AT ALL.  All week.  I didn’t feel so hot when I got to last weekend.  I felt downright disgusting.  And very very tired.  So I’ve been better this week.  Not perfect, no, but better.  About that stuff.  I haven’t pigged out (as much), I’ve done some sort of exercise every day since Sunday, and I’ve been getting closer to eight hours of sleep every night.  This week was MUCH worse for work, though.  But I’m not going to talk about that.  (I vented to Jess on my way home today, so I feel a little better.  Thanks, Jess!)

The other thing I feel better about?  Calculus.  I got my midterm grade back over the weekend.  I got a B.  That’ll do.  I thought I did better than that, but considering…everything, I can be happy with it.  I take my final next week.  I turned in my last quiz twenty minutes ago, so the final is all that’s left.  That feels good, but so does knowing I can still handle calculus.  After all this time.

Now what do I get to do?  Clean.  Clean like crazy, like the wind, like I’ve never cleaned before.  Because the house is a WRECK.  It looks like a tornado came through.  See for yourself:

This is what happens when we don't pick up the clutter for a couple of weeks. We just keep shoving it to the side.

Note the calculus paraphernalia and the books stacked all over the dining room table (because the giant annual used book sale I LOVE was last weekend and we just HAD to leave work early on Friday to go before they closed at 7pm that night because we were out of town the rest of the weekend) and the toilet paper, giant bottle of ibuprofen, and tons of mail scattered on the island.  And that’s just this room.

I know where I’m starting, though.  All those new books need to be shelved, and before they can be shelved, they have to be catalogued.  Hey, it’s gotta be done.  I might as well be the one to do it.

I’m behind on posting, behind on reading, behind on news…behind on the internet in general.  I have a draft I started during the day on Friday, but I got sidetracked that evening (big book sale – woo!) and didn’t post, and then Saturday we left early (after dropping our dead microwave off at a local high school for recycling) for PA so we could be there for John’s grandfather’s birthday party.  I didn’t bring my computer, so I was actually without internet (I’m not counting my phone ’cause I didn’t use it) from Saturday morning until now (we just got home).  Crazy, I know.  And it seems like a ton happened.  That may not be true, but it feels like it is.

My plan for this week is to get back on track.  I felt awful all last week (too much (and too rich) food, NO exercise, not enough sleep).  I slept pretty well, and long enough, last night, ran a couple of miles this morning, and managed to eat normal amounts of food today (okay, maybe six blueberry pancakes isn’t really normal, but I hardly had anything after that), so I feel like I’ve made a good start.  Short term goal (really short term): get a normal night’s sleep tonight and run tomorrow morning.

Work is getting in the way of studying.  And time is flying when I do study, so I’m not getting as far in the material as I plan to each time I sit down.  Stress-stress-stress, panic-panic-panic.  I need a few more hours.  Which probably means I’m not going to the gym tonight.    On the one hand, I’m not thinking about anything else when I’m working out, so I could use it to clear my head, as a break from studying.  But a) I don’t think I’ll really need a break (math is fun! and also, the midterm is tomorrow – who has time for a break?), and 2) I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about it.  I mean, I figured out where I went wrong on the last problem in my latest quiz while I was in the shower this morning.  Not exactly the place for studying.  Why would I think I could escape it (or really want to, with the midterm looming so close) at the gym?

I’ll make myself a deal (’cause I really would like to exercise today): if I do nothing but study from the minute I get home and I make it through section 12.4 by 6, I can go.  If I don’t make it that far, I can’t.  I’ll run before work tomorrow morning either way.

I woke up this morning a little crazy with anxiety.  The worst thing about it is that I woke up with a list of all the things I should be doing on a loop in my head, and then I froze.  I could have gotten up right then to get started on the list, but did I?  No, I stayed in bed.  Because I could put off all the hard things.  I do that all the time (procrastinate).   Of course, that gives me less time overall to get everything done, so all it really does is ratchet up the anxiety a little more.  Not exactly helpful behavior.

Instead, let’s a play a game (courtesy of Mom) called “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Anxiety Causing Thing #1: Quiz #4 for vector calculus and the midterm I have to take on Thursday

What’s the worst that could happen?  Well, I could get all the answers wrong on my quiz, but that doesn’t affect my grade (just makes my professor think I’m an idiot), so there isn’t anything to worry about there.  Of course, my performance on my quizzes is an indicator of my performance on the midterm, so if I don’t do well on my quizzes, I may not do well on my midterm.  And I could fail my midterm.  So what if I do?  I won’t have a very good grade in my calculus class.  That would be a blow to my ego (something I could survive), and it may put me on the road to failing this class.  What if I fail the class?  I’m taking it online at a community college because I need the prereq for grad school.  If I fail it, I’m out approximately $350.  If I fail it, I can retake it later.  Will I fail it?  Probably not.  I may not get an A.  I may not even get a B.  But I probably won’t fail.  I submitted my quiz this morning (confident that I got three out of four right), so that’s out of my hands, and I still have today, tomorrow, Wednesday, and part of Thursday to study for the midterm.  Breathe deep.

Anxiety Causing Thing #2: Work

What’s the worst that could happen?  I could get fired.  Or laid off.  Or whatever.  That could happen, but there’s nothing I can do about it (and there’s no immediate indication that it’s coming), so that’s not what’s making me edgy.  There’s nothing specific about work that’s bothering me.  No major deadlines, no one is asking me to do anything I’m not capable of, I don’t have any issues with any coworkers.  I just don’t like it.  I don’t want to come here every day.  (I know, whine whine whine, most people don’t actually like going to work.)  I want to do something with flexible hours where I can work from home and have more time for me.  The math that’s stressing me out is the first step in that direction, so this is more of a low-level, back-burner, always-bugging-me sort of thing that every once in a while jumps up and says, “Hey!  Loser!  Worry about me!”

Anxiety Causing Thing #3: Army Ten-Miler

Did I tell you about this?  A few weeks ago, John registered to run in the Army Ten-Miler this October, and I caved to the very mild peer pressure and registered with him.  So what’s the worst that could happen?  I’ll be so slow that the bus that picks up the slowpokes who aren’t going to finish in the required time will pick me up.  Humiliating.  I have 17 weeks to train for it.  I had more, but I didn’t use them.  I can’t procrastinate on this one, so every day I don’t start this training plan gets under my skin, and I didn’t run today.  Well, I kinda did.  I sprinted around the block (up the hills) a couple of times with the dogs this morning.  My math anxiety trumped my race anxiety this morning – I spent the extra time on my quiz.  (SuzRocks sent me a link to a half-marathon training plan.  I figure if I’m capable of running a half-marathon by the time I finish training, ten miles should seem easy.  Ish.  I just need to start the &^$* training plan.)

There are other things that bug me (there are always other things), but those are the three I woke up with this morning.  Peace, serenity, lots of gym time tonight, some studying…I’ve got it under control.

Happy thoughts!

Corrupt orphans screwed with my computer last night.  For reals.  They were obviously upset with Michigan State Senator Bruce Caswell, who recently proposed that money set aside for clothes for Michigan’s foster children should only be spent at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill.  (Story here, courtesy of (and with commentary by) Nancy Nall.)

I’m not kidding about the corrupt orphans, though.  I tried to boot up my computer this morning, and it got stuck.  I called my handy live-in IT guy to fix it.  He helped those poor orphans out.  Very competent, that guy.  I think I’ll keep him around.

You should be so proud of me.  I just got back from a long walk with dogs and started dinner.  Dinner will only take ten minutes,  but I’m hungry NOW and I want to munch.  To graze.  To eat food high in calories and not good for me.  Like those candy-coated chocolate eggs that are my favorite Easter candy ever.  Or chips.  (Not as exciting, but STILL.  Chips.)  I resisted the urge and reached instead for – wait for it (this is where you should be proud of me) – baby carrots.

I’ll wait for the cheers and applause to die down.

Thank you.

Yes, instead of pounding down delightfully tasty treats with no nutritional value, I’m chomping on crunchy orange CUTE little carrots, chock full of vitamins and other healthy things.  They only occasionally remind me of toddler fingers.  Or my own thumbs.  Not at all disturbing.