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What a beautiful day

Published April 27th, 2013 at 7:26 pm by Zannah in dogs, future, plans, this is huge, travel with 2 comments
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Lots of yardwork this morning, followed by errands.  Hooray for Saturdays!  I don’t think anything we did this weekend furthered our plans, except where making our house beautiful helps, but not everything can.  I’m not being intentionally vague about our plans.  They’re just still very plan-y plans.  Long-term.  Here’s the gist: we want to move.  Away.  Far away.  Like to Europe.  It wouldn’t be permanent (probably), but we’ve realized we don’t need that much stuff, and we don’t like doing what we’re doing (9-5 jobs we don’t really care about, not enough free time, looking forward too much to weekends that are too short).  We’ve realized this over and over through the years, but recently we decided to do something about it.  Why wait?  What have we got to lose?

There are a TON of things that we need to do first, the biggest of which are selling the house and finding the right kind of jobs (like the telecommuting kind).  The dogs are the other complication.  They could go with us, but Roxy’s health problems make that difficult.  Not impossible, just difficult.  We have a long, long, LONG list of stuff to find out, stuff to do, stuff to figure out, and we’re working through all those things.  We just haven’t put a real timeline together yet.  Are we trying to go in a year?  This year?  We still have to figure a few things out before we can tell.  We’re working on it, it’s just sometimes a little frustrating that we can’t drop everything and go now.

Getting antsy

Published April 21st, 2013 at 1:57 pm by Zannah in friends, future, plans with 5 comments
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I just acted as middle-person for a crib hand-off (from friends who are moving to friends who need a crib), and I was struck by how restless I am.  Those guys are moving to Oregon (like, tomorrow), and I have a coworker who’s counting down the days until she never has to come back to work again (she’s not planning on returning once her maternity leave is up).  I’m envious and restless and eager to get moving with our own plans.  Let’s go already!

A nailbiter of a night

Published November 6th, 2012 at 7:09 pm by Zannah in future, politics with 8 comments
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Polls have started closing, and I’m glued to my computer.  I can’t stream CNN because we don’t have cable (same problem I had with NBC and the Olympics), but I can stream Brian Williams (yay) on NBC, so that’s what I’ll be doing.

Hallelujah!  I had to stay up for this, but now I can go to bed.  Good night.

It’s book club night!

Published September 7th, 2012 at 5:56 pm by Zannah in anti-social, books, future, looking for help, people, should I be worried? with 4 comments
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Tonight we will discuss Before I Go to Sleep, which I enjoyed.  I’m sure we’ll only spend about ten minutes talking about the book and the rest of the time chatting about schools and kids and teaching at schools and teaching kids.  (Every single person there (except for me) is either a teacher, a mom, or both.)  Not that I mind.  They’re not boring.  Here’s the only scary thing about tonight: they put me on the rotation.  That means that in a few short months, I will have to host the book club.  I’ll need to pick a book (I’ll accept suggestions!), but that’s not so scary.  This is: all of these women (who live in very large, very nice houses) will be in MY little house.  And they will be judging me.  I know they won’t be mean (certainly not to my face, and possibly not at all – they seem very nice), but still.  Having a large group of strangers (practically) in my house is not anything like having a large group of friends over.  So I’m a little nervous.  Several months in advance.

It’ll be a while before the machines are ready to take over the world

Published June 5th, 2012 at 5:17 pm by Zannah in a little bit random, but not in a good way, future, general geekishness, more inane than usual, pondering the big questions, product placement except not really with 2 comments
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We still have a land line at home.  I’m not sure why, really.   We use it to make some calls (the vet, the pharmacy), and our parents use it to reach us sometimes, but they use our cell phones at least as often as the land line.  We mostly ignore it because despite registering for every Do Not Call list out there, we get tons of telemarketers, political robocalls, and other spam.  We talked about getting rid of it not too long ago, but I think our main reason for keeping it is because it’s our primary contact number for every bill, every account, every everything, and it would be a pain to update those.  Not the greatest reason to keep paying for it.  It’s Vonage, so it’s cheap, but still.

As long as we still have it, though, I get some entertainment out of its visual voicemail feature.  All voicemail goes to my Yahoo account (another dinosaur, but I have better reasons for keeping it), but Vonage doesn’t always do a good job of transcribing what was actually said.  Sometimes the program gives up altogether, but usually it tries.  Just about half an hour ago, I got this visual voicemail:

“Hi Ms. Bird, this is Sharon calling from pointless mom. Just calling to let you know that your contacts are ready for pick up. Thank you”

That’s Vonage’s punctuation, not mine, and this is better than most since at least the second half makes sense.  It’s also only the second half that told me it was my eye doctor’s office calling.  I might suggest they change the name of their practice to Pointless Mom when I swing by tomorrow.  Much funnier.  I don’t know where that came from, though.  It doesn’t even rhyme with the actual name.  Speaking of names, no names had to be changed to protect the innocent – Bird is not my last name, and Sharon is not the name of the woman who called.  (I listened to the actual voicemail, too.)

None of this is convincing me to keep a land line for the house, but it has convinced me that I don’t have to worry about evil robotic overlords just yet.  Or maybe they just want me to think that…

Things I’m anxious about today

Published June 13th, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Zannah in complaining, dogs, exercise, family, future, John, lists, other blogs, running, school, stress, work with 10 comments
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I woke up this morning a little crazy with anxiety.  The worst thing about it is that I woke up with a list of all the things I should be doing on a loop in my head, and then I froze.  I could have gotten up right then to get started on the list, but did I?  No, I stayed in bed.  Because I could put off all the hard things.  I do that all the time (procrastinate).   Of course, that gives me less time overall to get everything done, so all it really does is ratchet up the anxiety a little more.  Not exactly helpful behavior.

Instead, let’s a play a game (courtesy of Mom) called “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Anxiety Causing Thing #1: Quiz #4 for vector calculus and the midterm I have to take on Thursday

What’s the worst that could happen?  Well, I could get all the answers wrong on my quiz, but that doesn’t affect my grade (just makes my professor think I’m an idiot), so there isn’t anything to worry about there.  Of course, my performance on my quizzes is an indicator of my performance on the midterm, so if I don’t do well on my quizzes, I may not do well on my midterm.  And I could fail my midterm.  So what if I do?  I won’t have a very good grade in my calculus class.  That would be a blow to my ego (something I could survive), and it may put me on the road to failing this class.  What if I fail the class?  I’m taking it online at a community college because I need the prereq for grad school.  If I fail it, I’m out approximately $350.  If I fail it, I can retake it later.  Will I fail it?  Probably not.  I may not get an A.  I may not even get a B.  But I probably won’t fail.  I submitted my quiz this morning (confident that I got three out of four right), so that’s out of my hands, and I still have today, tomorrow, Wednesday, and part of Thursday to study for the midterm.  Breathe deep.

Anxiety Causing Thing #2: Work

What’s the worst that could happen?  I could get fired.  Or laid off.  Or whatever.  That could happen, but there’s nothing I can do about it (and there’s no immediate indication that it’s coming), so that’s not what’s making me edgy.  There’s nothing specific about work that’s bothering me.  No major deadlines, no one is asking me to do anything I’m not capable of, I don’t have any issues with any coworkers.  I just don’t like it.  I don’t want to come here every day.  (I know, whine whine whine, most people don’t actually like going to work.)  I want to do something with flexible hours where I can work from home and have more time for me.  The math that’s stressing me out is the first step in that direction, so this is more of a low-level, back-burner, always-bugging-me sort of thing that every once in a while jumps up and says, “Hey!  Loser!  Worry about me!”

Anxiety Causing Thing #3: Army Ten-Miler

Did I tell you about this?  A few weeks ago, John registered to run in the Army Ten-Miler this October, and I caved to the very mild peer pressure and registered with him.  So what’s the worst that could happen?  I’ll be so slow that the bus that picks up the slowpokes who aren’t going to finish in the required time will pick me up.  Humiliating.  I have 17 weeks to train for it.  I had more, but I didn’t use them.  I can’t procrastinate on this one, so every day I don’t start this training plan gets under my skin, and I didn’t run today.  Well, I kinda did.  I sprinted around the block (up the hills) a couple of times with the dogs this morning.  My math anxiety trumped my race anxiety this morning – I spent the extra time on my quiz.  (SuzRocks sent me a link to a half-marathon training plan.  I figure if I’m capable of running a half-marathon by the time I finish training, ten miles should seem easy.  Ish.  I just need to start the &^$* training plan.)

There are other things that bug me (there are always other things), but those are the three I woke up with this morning.  Peace, serenity, lots of gym time tonight, some studying…I’ve got it under control.

Happy thoughts!

How do we get out of here?

Published February 6th, 2011 at 6:31 pm by Zannah in future with 4 comments
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Every once in a while, the need to drop everything (except John and the dogs, of course) and walk away gets almost overwhelming.  It bubbles up and boils over and I burst into tears thinking about everything it would take to make it happen.  And make WHAT happen is part of the problem.  What is it exactly that I want to change?  I’m good at what I do, and I like it well enough, but I don’t love it.  Not a bit of my identity is tied up in what I do for a living.  So that could go, but what would I do instead?  Be a librarian?  Sure, but I don’t think there’s much demand anymore for librarians in public libraries, which is the kind I’d want to be.  Be a teacher?  Of what?  Maybe math, but I don’t want to teach kids who aren’t interested in being in class.  So adults, then.

Whoa.  Just did a quick search at ala.org.  A whole bunch of universities have started offering 100% online courses for a masters in library science since the last time I looked (which was when we were living in our last house, so more than 5 years ago at least – makes sense).  Okay, I have some research to do.

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