Ten sentences, no substance

Hi.  Today sucked.  Story tomorrow.  Tonight: shower, then bed.  Possibly no stop for reading, even.  That’s how much I want to be sleeping.

(We’re both okay, everyone we know is okay.  Today’s suckiness is under control.  It’s just sucky and, well, inconvenient.  Took an okay day down the tubes.)

So much no

I try to keep this blog free of real things that bother me.  I mean, I certainly complain about stuff, but I don’t get into serious issues.  I don’t plan to, either.  I spend all day reading the news and talking about the god-awful things that are going on, and the last thing I want to do is write about them.

I’m angry, I’m sad, and I’m scared, and I DON’T want to talk about it.  I want to hide and wake up from this terrible dream.

I won’t hide, and I will do something.  I donated to the ACLU, I’ll be donating to other organizations, I’m calling my congresspeople daily, and I’ll continue to go to protests and otherwise get involved locally.  I’m thinking about other things I can do.

In the meantime, I want to stay light here.  It’s a nice distraction, but there are days I just can’t.

Like today.  I just can’t.

Do something else

Things I should be doing:

  1. Working, because that’s what I get paid to do and it’s the middle of the day (or it was when I wrote this).

Things I should be doing that will make me feel better:

  1. Looking for a new job.
  2. Reading my book. Sadly, this one doesn’t belong on this list right now.  Reading this particular book does NOT make me feel better.  It’s depressing, which is sometimes okay (memoir, sucky childhood), but it’s also not written very well.  I should probably put it down.
  3. Re-learning how to play my ukulele.
  4. Taking a walk.

NOPE

No.  Uh uh.  Not gonna do it.

Look, a puppy cam! Gosh, they’re cute. But now they’re napping.

Ooh! Donkey cam! That’s fun, but they’re not really doing anything.

Holy shit, penguin cam!

Maybe today’s not so bad after all.  For those of you not into live-streaming animals, have some random adorable pictures from the internet instead:

You’re welcome.

I could use some sunshine

I’m going to stick to my theme of inanity, which I’m sure won’t surprise anyone, but it means I may need another day off. I’m in an airport again, writing this on my phone (which is going surprisingly well). Traffic sucked getting here, so we had that stress on top of last night’s disappointment.  The weather is gloomy to match our moods. I’ll be looking for puppies and kittens, real or virtual, to make me feel better. Actually, that’s been backfiring lately, too. Puppies and kittens make me think of Roxy and Riley, and that’s STILL too raw.

Were you looking for depressing inanity today? Glad I could help.

Summer is taking a break

It’s raining, and there is no wind at all (apparently), so the rain is falling straight down.  It’s a little eerie actually – looks robotic.  John’s metronome isn’t helping the feeling.

Oh, that’s better – it’s slanting northwest now.

The temperature dropped yesterday.  Today is the second day of highs in the 60s, and we’re not expected to hit 80 again until late next week (and then only barely).  This is weird.  Good, I think, but weird.

Hey, weather.  That’s fascinating, sure, but it’s all I’ve got today.  It’s Friday, work is over, and I think I’m going to take my book, open a window, and read in a comfy chair while listening to the rain.  And John’s metronome.

It’s better than paying attention to the news.

Can’t win

I went to a Sprint store today to switch my number to the new phone.  The guy got on the phone to I-don’t-know-who at Sprint, and I read my book.  Half an hour later, he told me that my new phone uses the wrong frequencies for the Sprint network.  It can’t be used for Sprint.  I didn’t even know that was a thing.  Apparently, Verizon and Sprint use one set of frequencies and AT&T and T-Mobile use another.  This phone can be added to AT&T or T-Mobile’s network, but not Sprint or Verizon.  Phones can work for one, the other, or both, and I just happened to get one that works with the wrong frequency.

So what are my options?

  1. Stick with Sprint and spend the $400 at Best Buy to get the phone I want.  Return my new phone.
  2. Switch to AT&T or T-Mobile with my new phone.  Will John’s phone (which works on Sprint) work on their network?  I’m pretty sure it would cost more to have us on two different carriers.  His phone works fine, and he’s not ready to give it up.
  3. Switch to Verizon and get a new phone that isn’t a Nexus (and return the one I just got).  Not cheaper than spending $400 at Best Buy in the long run.  Also, why would I do that?
  4. Switch to AT&T or T-Mobile and get a new phone that isn’t a Nexus (and return the one I just got).  Same issues with John’s phone, and also still not cheaper than spending $400 at Best Buy in the long run.  And nonsensical for now.

Are there other options?  I’m too close to it at the moment and SO ANNOYED.  I could insist we both leave Sprint, but we have unlimited data with them, and that seems impossible to get anywhere else (without also getting DirectTV or whatever with AT&T – not interested in that).

UGH.

I can’t even

I made another pie on Monday.  One more pie.  That’s a crucial detail I missed when I started to put it all together.  I boiled sweet potatoes for only one pie.  I peeled them, put them in the mixing bowl.  Then I added the rest of the ingredients, according to my recipe.  Yes, according to my recipe WHICH IS WRITTEN FOR TWO PIES.  Started the mixer, noticed the resulting mixture was a bit runny….oh, shit.  Dropped head into hands.  I didn’t buy any more sweet potatoes, so I couldn’t just turn it into two pies.  Tasted the mixture – a bit sweeter than usual (because of DOUBLE the amount of sugar needed for ONE pie), but pretty good.  So at John’s suggestion, I added some flour to thicken it up, crossed my fingers, and cooked it.

I don’t know how it turned out.  It’s puffy, and it took longer to bake completely.  It was meant for my team at work – they’ll have to let me know.  I’ll just hide when they try it.  They’ve had it before!  They’ll know!

To make matters worse, also on Monday (after the pie made it into the oven), I dropped a plastic mixing bowl of caesar salad.  It landed right side up (small miracle), but half the salad bounced out of the bowl and landed on the floor.  I had to walk away.  Actually, I think I stomped away.  That’s also when I decided not to make cookies that night.  Too dangerous.

And you wonder why I don’t cook!  Maybe you don’t wonder.  THIS IS WHY.

Get it together!

Things I did today:

  • Work
  • Ordered new sheets for our bed
  • Met Jess for lunch (I don’t think that counts, but it got me out of the apartment)
  • Talked to Mom and Dad (not sure that should count, either – no, it totally counts because we decided on dates for my next visit)

Things I didn’t do today:

  • Run (or work out in any way)
  • Laundry
  • Buy groceries
  • Look for a new job
  • Read my book
  • Play on the internet (this doesn’t count)
  • Write a book
  • Fly a plane
  • Ride a horse
  • Paint a picture
  • Build a house
  • Cure a disease
  • Sing at Carnegie Hall
  • Reach through my computer and strangle someone – oh, wait.  It’s good that I didn’t do that one.

Not every day can be the perfect example of how I want to live my life (yesterday was pretty darn close – it needed more John), but today fell disappointingly short.  It’s my own fault.  I didn’t get out of bed to run, and then I couldn’t get out of my head to enjoy the day, and then I let the rain keep me from the store.  Going to the store wouldn’t have been exciting in any way, but it needs doing, and I’ll feel better when it’s done.

I will just have to do better tomorrow.

More excuses

In case you’re wondering, I have managed to finish my work things.  Yay for me.  But time for blogging I have not had.

Well.

Let’s be frank.  All of us.  We should all be frank.  Frank won’t mind.  He’s a generous guy.  While we’re all being frank, I’ll say this.  I probably have time to blog.  But if I blog, I won’t be reading.  And I want to read.  I would rather blog than work, but that’s not the greatest idea, not if I want work to continue to pay me, so I can’t blog while I’m at work.  Most days, I’ve been working a little later than I would prefer, so when I get home, I want to eat dinner and watch TV, and then I want to read and go to bed.  Somewhere in there, I talk to John (because, you know, I still like him).

I’m not crazy about this trend, but blogging has not been my priority.  Also, I don’t like using “blog” as a verb, so I’m going to stop doing that.

I want to want to write more.  I have notes and drafts and pictures and things.  They will all become posts.  Soon.  Really.  Because I like you. And I like it here.

Same old

It’s that time again: time to pick a new book.  But it’s bedtme and I’m sleepy, so I’m going to put it off until tomorrow.  Which really means tomorrow after work.  Why do I even want to put it off?  I certainly don’t want to NOT read something.

I have made this complaint before.  No more.

Hey, my company offered Molly the job she interviewed for, and she’s accepting it!  That’ll be interesting.  Good, but interesting.  More to come as the story unfolds.  Or however that goes.

You know what’s cool?  My keyboard.  It lights up.  See?

IMG_20150421_205512

Yeah, that’s a great picture.  I’m on a roll tonight.  I should definitely keep writing random stuff and then trailing off without any attempt to make it interesting.  Yup.  That’s what I should do.

Oh, wait!  I know what I’m reading next.  Finally, I have purpose!  Energy renewed, off to start a new book.  (Is this my process?  Kind of irritating.  Thanks for wading it through it!)

Not from concentrate

Today was not a good day for getting anything complicated done.  Or anything easy, if it took more than 30 seconds.  I’m sure it would have been different if anything had been interesting or on my list of things I want to do.  The music from Pirates of the Caribbean (the film score, not “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life For Me)”) was going through my brain (just that one snippet – dum dum de-de-dum-dum de-de-dum-dum de-de-dum), and I think that was part of the problem.  Maybe if it were longer, I could have focused for longer on one thing.  Instead, I’d get to the end of that one bar, decide I must be done with whatever I was doing, and move on to the next thing.  Except I WASN’T done, and then I didn’t get through the next thing, either, and wouldn’t it be nice if I could just go home and read my book?  I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t have had trouble focusing on my book.

On the other hand, I had plenty of bite-size tasks, and today was the perfect day to get those done.

Picking a book shouldn’t be this hard

Finally read Redshirts (John Scalzi), and I don’t know what took me so long.  It was hilarious.  I read it in about 18 hours, starting Sunday night – it was helpful to have Monday off work, and also helpful to have it on my Kindle app, so I could read it while charging away on the not-exactly-an-elliptical-machine at the gym for an hour.  I couldn’t put it down (and didn’t have to).  Just as well I wasn’t at work.

Now I face the always difficult task of picking my next book.  Will it be as good?  Should I pick something along the same lines or completely different?  I finished A Discovery of Witches Sunday (which I thoroughly enjoyed).  That’s different (as was going to Redshirts right after it).  Should I start the sequel?  Move on to something else entirely?  I don’t know.

No, I do know.  I have a few books already downloaded to my tablet that I haven’t read it, and I’m going to choose one of them.  Just because.

Now, having made that decision, I’m going to watch some TV.

I would make a really bad criminal

I’m an idiot.  My only consolation is that I’m not alone. Thursday, I had lunch with my friend and coworker, Chastity (previously seen here).  We had a lovely lunch, and the service was really really good.  Our server was great, very attentive, and the manager came by to check on us at least once.  I think they read the same Washington Post article I read this week (about restaurant service).  Anyway, we got back to the office, and as I sat back down at my desk, I was thinking how good the service was, and maybe I should call the restaurant and let them know, and our server certainly deserved a big tip, and huh – I don’t remember leaving a tip.  Surely I left a tip?  Did I pay the bill?  Shit, do I have my credit card?  Scramble for my wallet – no, I do not have my credit card.  Mad dash to Chastity’s desk.  “Chastity, do you have your credit card?”  “Oh my god, no.  Let’s go.”

Yeah, we got the bill, handed over our credit cards, chatted for a few minutes, put on our coats, and headed back to the office.  Idiots.

We sped back to the restaurant (maybe a half-mile away) and headed to the host station.  “Welcome back!”  We hung our heads, paid our bill (I tipped well), and left sheepishly.  It could have been worse – they had our credit cards, so at least they would have gotten paid.  They knew we didn’t dine and dash.  Still, we both felt REALLY stupid.  Feel really stupid.

Boycott

We’re going to boycott Halloween this year.  (This’ll be the first year little kids will come to our door and not get all excited about the “Doggies!”)  Shouldn’t be hard, considering we haven’t decorated or bought any candy.  Rather than sit in a dark house (which would be kinda spooky, actually) and pretend we’re not home, we’re going to the movies so as to actually not be home (leaving a dark house to creep out the neighbors).

I’m in avoidance mode.

 

Everything gets in the way

Things have been busy.  And stressful.  And sometimes, even when I have time to myself in the evenings, I’m so worn out from EVERYTHING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED EVER that I can’t do anything but sit on the couch and watch Scrubs.  Sometimes I can stretch my brain far enough for Mad Men, but that doesn’t happen as often as it should.  So I haven’t been here.  And I’ve been trying not to feel guilty about it.  I feel guilty about other things – no, not guilty (not about everything, but definitely about some things).  Responsible.  And that’s tiring.  Weighs me down.  So I let this go.  Not writing doesn’t hurt anybody.  I let other things go, like book club.  We were reading good books (most of the time), but fitting in the time to go to the meetings turned into another responsibility, another obligation.  I have other obligations, ones that are more important to me, so I let that one go.  I’m tired of ignoring my friends (hi, friends!).  What other things can I let go of?  Selling the house ought to open up some time (no more open houses every single weekend), but then moving will take over with all the packing that entails.  But then we move.  Will free time appear the way we hope it will?  Emily’s wedding will be past us soon – that should free up some weekends.

So am I back?  I’ll try.  But it might be at the expense of other things.  I don’t like having to choose.

Wanna feel better?  Visit the Bloggess’s Pinterest page.  Some highlights:

 

 

 

 

And…you’re welcome.

 

Not quite ready

You know when there are things you want to talk about but you’re just not ready to?  They’re not necessarily bad things, but maybe there’s been too much discussion already, and even though you want to tell someone, you’re also tired of talking and thinking about it?  I feel kind of like that about the house, the (non-existent) job search, and Riley.  There aren’t really any updates about the house and the (non-existent) job search, but I still feel like they’re both talked out.  Still uppermost in my mind, but talked into the ground.  And Riley – maybe tomorrow.  Today, I’m really tired.  Early bedtime tonight.

Cataloging my symptoms, just for you

Why read my book when I could be watching Supernatural?  This is how I know I’m sick.  I’m not knocking Supernatural, but when I can’t summon the willpower to focus on a book when I have a whole day ahead of me, there must be something wrong.  And there is, in the sinus congestion, inflated head, throbbing headache behind one eye kind of way.  I took medicine, of course, so add weird loopy dryness to the list.  I can breathe freely through my nose, but my head is still congested.  And I’m having slight difficulty swallowing.  But I feel fine from the shoulders down.  Except for some mild aching….  This print is really tiny.  I’m going back to the couch and my TV.