Inane Chatter

I was listening to the radio in the car the other day, and I heard a commercial for the National Association of Realtors.  Except they didn’t say it that way.  Not the way I say realtor.  Not the way anyone I know says realtor.  You know, like realter.  Kind of.  Anyway, no.  The guy on the radio announcing the official name of the organization over and over again pronounced it real-tor.  Over and over again.  Tor.  Like the rock formation.  Or the publishing company.  I assume that’s how it’s pronounced.  Tor.  Like or.  Four.  Bore.  Core.  If tor is pronounced “ter”, then I’m just going to keep saying it the wrong way ’cause that’s ridiculous.  But when it’s at the end of a word?  And that word is realtor?  Please.  Real-tor.  As if there are fake tors out there somewhere.

Reminds me of these guys.

Sorry about yesterday.  This week was kind of odd.  Busy odd.  Like, I can’t remember sitting down and relaxing much odd, even though I know I must have.  My brain needs lots of help to get out of work-mode, which is why I’ve been relying on other websites so much.  Today will be no different.  Thanks to Tom and Lorenzo, let’s talk about Channing Tatum.

I like him okay (I’ve seen him in one movie and a couple of interviews, and he was plenty likeable), but I don’t find him attractive at all.  Certainly not HAWT, like so many other women seem to feel.  I think it’s his head.  And neck.  The combination of the two.  They’re thesame size.  I have the same issue with The Rock and Vin Diesel.  It’s a type, and it’s not mine.  Channing Tatum, at least in this suit, looks great if you only look from the shoulders down.

I still think he’s a little too body-builder for me.  I’m sure John will be relieved to know I’m not going to leave him for Channing Tatum.

THIS is a really good idea.  I think I’m going to do it (on my personal cell, anyway), and I think Mom shoulddefinitely do it.  Anyone who never listens to their voicemail (which is everyone*) should do it.  It’s not as rude as never listening and never calling anyone back because you never listened to the message.  So go, change your message, and come back.  Go on.  I’ll wait.

…

Welcome back!

I could live here (link goes to more pictures):

Or here:

I forget about this blog for months at a time, but that means I have lots of content to drool over when I remember.  Our house could look something like this if we threw out 75% of what we have.  And painted everything white.  And had better taste.  And more money.

*Exception: if you’re job-hunting, DON’T DO THIS.  But then, if you’re job-hunting, you don’t belong to this group.  You’re probably listening to your voicemail messages.

Going to a one-year-old’s birthday party today took all of the energy I had.  I’m home, sitting on the couch, watching Geek & Sundry videos, and I just poured a second glass of wine I don’t particularly like anymore.  I think I’m over the Cupcake Sauvignon Blanc, for those keeping track at home.  I thought I was over it, then I enjoyed a couple of glasses of it a few weeks ago, and now that I’m finishing the bottle, I’m over it again.  And yet I’m still drinking it.  It would be wasteful to just throw it out.  Right?  Also, it would take too much energy to open a different bottle.  Also also, the only other bottle chilled right now is super big, and I just don’t think it makes sense to open a super big bottle just for me.  Not at the end of a weekend, anyway.    Also also also, if I put another bottle in the fridge (or freezer) to chill, I’ll have to wait for it.  And I’d have to get up and do it.  And have I mentioned that I have no energy?  I think I’m going to work on my puzzle.

I hate spiders, I really do.  They creep me out.  BUT.  This video is hilarious and not very long.  You should totally watch it and not have nightmares (like Dooce did).

I may have a new crush.  I’ve never seen him in anything, so it’s possible he’s irritating as hell, but MAN he’s pretty.  And he looks GOOD in that suit.

Thank you, Tom and Lorenzo.  Go here for more pictures and not a whole lot of commentary on his outfit, in this case.

The bathrooms in our house aren’t all that great.  They’re not awful or anything, but they’re not the spectacular bathrooms I would like to have.  The downstairs half-bath in the hall is fine (you can’t ask much from a half-bath, and it does its job),  but upstairs is a little disappointing.  Our master bath doesn’t deserve the name, but there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot we can do about it.  I mean, yes, we could replace the vanity and upgrade the shower (and put in a nicer floor), but it’ll still only have a single sink and a walk-in shower with no tub.  There’s no room to do anything bigger.  We’d have to do MAJOR renovations to the whole upper floor, like add rooms over the garage (which would mean a whole addition to the house), and that’s just not likely with our current plans.  The main complaints I have about the other bathroom upstairs (the one I use) are that the bathtub is too small and the water pressure SUCKS.

So naturally, I sometimes find myself daydreaming about the perfect bathroom.  A few years ago, we were in Boulder for a work thing, and we stayed at the St. Julien Hotel.  That bathroom was incredible.  The tub was super long and really deep (I could practically swim in it), and the shower was awesome. I think that bathtub might be my happy place.  (Serenity now!)

You’ll have to believe me. The picture doesn’t do it justice.

Why are standard bathtubs so small?  According to Wikipedia, average height for women in the US is between 5’4″ and 5’5″ (and you have to be shorter than that to fit comfortably in a regular tub) so the evil bathtub industry clearly has something against baths.  Which seems to be contrary to their interests.

Today has been the longest day.  At least three different times during the workday (and again just now), I was convinced it was Tuesday night (or possibly Wednesday).  That much has happened since I woke up this morning (which, admittedly, was earlier than usual because it’s one of John’s boxing days – more on that later).  Actually, not that much happened today that’s of interest to anyone I don’t work with, but it was a super busy day.  And I got my year-end bonus.    Yay me!

Man!  I completely skipped my online morning routine, too.  Pause while I check Woot and XKCD.  Better, and only 10 hours later than usual for a Monday.

I’m trying to reconnect with whatever feelings of calm I found yesterday while I was getting my nails done.  I went to my favorite place, and they were completely empty.  I was the only customer and no one seemed to be in the mood to talk (which was fine with me).  It was so peaceful, utterly quiet except the god-awful muzak they were playing (which I tuned out as much as possible), and now I have awesomely hot pink toes.  However, I also have a rock band playing in my basement (for the first time in months), so peace and quiet are nowhere to be found.  Instead, I will play online and watch adorable videos, like this one.

This is almost as good as the cat on the roomba.

The last two or three days have been lovely and almost warm.  Now it’s windy and freakin’ cold.  I guess it’s time, but I don’t have to like it.  I’m catching up (a little) on the internet today, and I just had to share this.  The Bloggess posted it the other day, and it’s just about the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

Riley is going insane, I’m freezing to death, and I think I just heard “Gangnam Style” coming out of John’s office.  The world is ending TONIGHT.  Hug your loved ones and duck and cover.  (Isn’t that what the Mayans said to do?)

Riley has been one uncontrollable bundle of annoying energy today.  If he could focus that energy on keeping me warm, I could handle it, but instead he’s been bouncing off the walls while I sit at my computer and shiver.  The thermostat says it’s 67 degrees in here.  I don’t see how it could be. I’m so COLD.

[Pause while I wrap myself in a blanket.  It's times like these when I wish I had a snuggie.  Kind of.]

Just got distracted by Bookshelf Pr0n and Better Book Titles.  And my fingers are too cold for typing.  So…sure, I’ll publish this disjointed and not very entertaining blog post.  Don’t judge me!

John Scalzi is voting for President Obama.  His reasons why mirror mine almost exactly, but he articulates them much more clearly than I could.  If you’re interested, go read.

Hey, guys, I have to dive into my book, so I’ll be in hiding tonight (except for yoga class).  Possibly tomorrow, too.  Book Club is this Friday, and according to my Kindle, I’m only 12% into Wild.  Not cool.

Have a video (from The Daily What):

Can you imagine?  I’d like to think I’d turn into Spiderman and be halfway up the elevator walls if I thought the floor was dropping out from under me.  I’d at least be hanging on to that rail for dear life.

I found my boots!  And I’m never shopping again.  Seriously, I am all shopped out.  So back to yesterday’s trip to the Waterford Fair:

Pop quiz, Jess: What kind of chickens are these?

All I know is they were cute and fluffy and not at all phased by the crowds of people streaming by.  This sheep wasn’t particularly bothered by people or dogs, now that I think about it.  I guess the people of Waterford socialize their livestock.

Frosty the Puppy was terrified of the big bad sheep.  They eventually went nose to nose, but then the puppy ran away.

It was cute.  Because puppies.  Also cute?  Ducks getting into water for the first time ever.

I think someone cheated and skipped a few days in September.  It went by awfully fast.  What I remember of it was nice, though.  Especially last weekend.  The weather was perfect, and we spent the majority of those two days outside painting the porch.  Not normally my favorite thing to do, but we had a good time.  (Let me tell you a secret: I like spending entire days with John, just us.  It’s fun.  Shh.  Don’t tell anyone.)  We finished the second coat yesterday, and I went for a long bike ride, and now my butt is sore.  I can’t decide if I want to keep doing that.  If I do, I think I might need to invest in those padded bike shorts.  Just checked – those can be kind of expensive.  Also, they look kind of ridiculous.  But not as ridiculous as I look when my butt hurts.

On to the opposite of ridiculous:

I WANT THIS DRESS.  (Thank you, Tom and Lorenzo, for giving me a style goal.)

Not the shoes.  I don’t like the shoes.  (I totally just spelled shoes “shoose”.)  The dress has a Grace Kelly-esque silhouette and have I mentioned how much I want to dress like Grace Kelly?

Of course, I all too often have paint in my hair (all too often = every time I paint something), so I shouldn’t really be allowed near nice clothes.

I have nothing to say tonight.  Is that okay?  When this happens, I should probably stay off the blog, but I don’t have that kind of control.

Instead of babbling, I’ll leave you with a couple of videos.  The first is about little green army men with British accents.  I can’t embed it (well, I probably could but it would take too much effort right now), so you’ll just have to trust me and click on the link. It’s funny.

The second video is the first episode of Written By a Kid, a web series created by the Geek and Sundry people.  These guys find a little kid and ask him/her to tell them a story.  Then they animate it and show it over the voice of the kid telling the story.  Super cute.

Now I can’t decide if I want to watch more Geek and Sundry videos or read my book. What is wrong with me?

Oh, how I want this dress.

(More pictures.)

And I want to be a princess.  And I want a pony.  And world peace.  I can’t have any of that, but I can have funny cat videos. It’s one of my inalienable rights as an internet user.

Also, if you have 4 minutes to spare, watch this. Jimmy Steward wrote a poem, and I cried.

I went most of the day thinking I’d already posted something today.  Yeah…no.  An update to the post from two days ago does not count.  But ZOMG this totally does:

I need one of these.  (From Reddit because Reddit.)

Noticed yesterday on Reddit:

On my way home today I saw a little boy run out of his house, open up his blue and red Spiderman umbrella, and then skip and jump down the sidewalk.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  Since an umbrella was clearly not needed, I can only assume he was trying to fly Mary Poppins-style.

Courtesy of The Daily What:

Check out my new favorite mug!  (How funny is that – WordPress spellcheck is British!  It wants me to put the u in favourite.)

I drank my tea from it this morning.

There’s lots to tell and not enough hours in the day, so I’ll digress even more from the trip and show you adorable-ness personified elephantified.  It’s only 22 seconds – watch the whole thing.