You want to know what I’m doing right now? Right this very second? Well, I’m typing on my laptop (obvs), sitting in a chair in my backyard, with corn on the grill (John says it’s a barbecue because it’s charcoal not gas, but I don’t think that distinction has anything to do with reality), soon to be joined by steak (the corn, not me – the steak will not be joining me until I eat it, and then we two will become one), listening to John strum his banjo. The only thing that would make this better, right this very second, is if I were drinking wine instead of water, but I’m doing the smart thing and avoiding those empty calories tonight because I did not avoid the empty calories of buttered banana bread at lunchtime. Gotta make choices, and I choose banana bread and corn and steak. The wine will still be there next week. Or when the banana bread is gone, whichever comes first. Willpower!
At first I was curious.
Then I was amused.
And then John found The Bible Cure for Thyroid Disorders and my eyes rolled right out of my head.
Of course, now I can’t find it to get a picture, so you’ll just have to have faith that it exists.
I gave myself a papercut just below the nail on my middle finger while wrapping a present. That’ll teach me to buy presents for people.
Why would I say “I gave myself” the papercut? I got a papercut. The vindictive wrapping paper gave me the papercut. It was revenge for the scissors use.
Inanimate objects around here have agendas. I have to be on alert.
I have posters and things to hang on walls. We’re moving in less than three months. Seems silly to hang things up now. Might do it anyway. Just not today.
I figured it out! No, I don’t have a baby chest-burster lost in my skull (thanks, Michelle, for the image – that’ll linger). I rode today, and when I ride, I wear a helmet. When I wear a helmet, I put my hair in a ponytail, and the helmet goes on over the base of the ponytail. Some days I don’t get the placement just right, and midway through my lesson I become aware of this painful pressure in one spot near the base of my skull. I forget about it as soon as I take the helmet off, relieving the pressure, but apparently that 45 minutes or so of pressure leaves a lasting sensitive spot. That must have happened last Friday. I don’t remember that specifically, but I definitely remember that pain from other lessons, so I’m willing to go with this theory. My odds of survival are better with this theory.
I got the placement of my ponytail right today – no pain, no fear of aliens. Well, no pain.