Hi. I’m back (as you may have noticed after the last few days of semi-consistent posting). I’m sorry I went mostly dark, but I was trying really really hard not to talk about something, and when I’m bursting to talk about something, I can’t think of anything else to say. I’m fine in person (although I went almost full hermit, so I didn’t have to test that very often), but for blogging purposes, it basically elbowed everything else out of my head.
But hey, the secret is out (THANK GOODNESS), and my head feels clearer.
I’m not being deliberately enigmatic. I mean, I am, but not with the intention of leaving anyone in the dark. It’s just that I don’t tend to get too personal here, so it feels kind of weird. On the other hand, I plan to talk about it (or at least not NOT talk about it), so for the maybe ONE person who reads me who isn’t an immediate family member or high school/college friend: I’m pregnant. Yay, happy dance, and all that stuff.
You know what? I am going to talk about it. Because it STILL doesn’t feel quite real, and it’s kinda freaking me out. That it doesn’t feel real, I mean. Despite the fact that less than a week ago I was at the doctor’s office and I heard the baby’s heartbeat, it appears that I need further proof. (I mean, maybe that tiny fast heartbeat was just a clever ruse because the doctor is in on this charade or maybe it’s a tiny mechanical device, like a pacemaker, that somehow got implanted or hey, maybe it’s a tiny ticking bomb (and you know what? it kind of is). I’m not showing yet, and my first trimester symptoms have been pretty mild, with the exception of OH MY GOD THE WORST TASTE IN MY MOUTH ALL THE TIME except when I’m eating which means I want to eat ALL THE TIME but eating for two isn’t really a thing and gaining too much weight too fast is a BAD thing and also I’m supposed to drink a TON of water and water TASTES BAD because of this awful taste and please please please make it go away as this trimester ends….
It is getting slightly less unbearable, so I have hope. Also, I have noticed actual feelings of lightheadedness and weakness when I need to eat something, which is new and unusual and super not fun.
So I’m looking forward to LOOKING pregnant. I think.
Oh, also, we’re calling unborn child Hugo (Hugo Nebula when we’re being formal) until he or she is born because due to the timing, we will not be able to go to WorldCon for the Hugo Awards. Turns out they don’t let women on planes when they’re THAT pregnant. Color me disappointed, but there will be other years. Our little baby nerd will go to LOTS of conventions with us.