Think happy thoughts
For real. It might work. Wait – bad title. That’s not what I did. Well, kinda…never mind. Starting over.
I had an emotional day. I saw my doctor and sobbed incoherently while I tried to explain what’s been going on (with the help of my notes – yes, I brought notes). She basically told me that this anxiety is situational (and all related to work) and I should feel better once I can get myself out of that situation. That’s pretty much what I thought, too, but it was good to hear it from someone who should know. So that was Emotional Event #1.
Emotional Event #2 happened this afternoon at three when I met with my boss. I managed not to cry, but I was close, and she could tell. I explained how the travel and the commute were causing problems for me, promised to stay through June, and suggested we work together to figure out the best way for me to leave after June without causing any big problems for them. Her response? To figure out how to keep me. (And, of course, to sympathize, ’cause she’s gone through similar situations in the past.) She asked me if leaving the company was what I wanted and I said no, but I was prepared to do that if necessary. She said she’d find out if there was anything else I could do, and then she sent me home for the rest of the afternoon (which almost made me cry again). And then, less than two hours later, she called me at home to suggest another position for me, same project, no commute, no travel, that will get me at least through the end of the summer, and after that, something else at the company.
Moral of the story? Ask for what you want. I feel better already.