Hush please

You know the noise you make when you’re relieved and you sigh?  Or maybe you feel refreshed and you sigh audibly?  Vocally.  You know?


And that other noise you make when you stretch really long first thing in the morning or after sitting in one position too long?  A sort of pleased moan or groan?


I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying yourself, and I agree, yoga DOES feel good, BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, PLEASE.  This is my quiet time.  Except for the instructor’s guidance, I can pretend I’m all alone.  Your happy noises make that difficult.

That is all.

WD-40 may be needed

I love my new sports bra.  Maybe it’s a weird thing to love, but it’s great.  Super comfortable, looks good.  The style is racerback, and in the very middle, right between my shoulder blades, there’s a little plastic ring where all the straps attach.  I didn’t notice the ring before, I can’t feel it at all, but I know it’s there NOW because of today’s yoga class.

The room was very quiet.  There was soothing music playing, and the instructor’s voice was low.  I settled into tabletop and then drew my shoulder blades together and lowered into cow pose.


I pushed back into cat pose.


Cow pose.


Cat pose.


Every time I flexed my shoulder blades out or in, the straps on that plastic ring creaked.  Reach up for triangle.  Creak.  Reach forward for warrior III.  Creak.

I’d like to think no one could hear, like no one is aware of the sound of your breathing except yourself (unless you’re that exceptionally loud breather dude), but no…I’m pretty sure the constant creaking was audible at least to the person next to me.  I hope she was able to tune it out and focus.

More harm than good

Today’s yoga class was terrible.  Maybe I should rephrase that.  I was terrible in today’s yoga class.  It was a relax and restore class, which mostly involved lying down and breathing, and I sucked at it. It’s not like I haven’t had plenty of practice lately.  I’ve gone to seven yoga classes in the last twelve days, and each one has been really great except for today’s.

I couldn’t get comfortable.  I was always aware of some muscle strain or of the side of my foot pressing too hard into the mat, and I couldn’t turn my brain off.  I’m hungry, I have to pee, ooh there’s a train, I’m cold, I’m hot, that guy over there is breathing really loudly, I don’t see the point of doing tree pose while lying down, how do people sit cross-legged for this long, I hope no one heard my stomach grumble just now, seriously why is that guy vocalizing his exhale?

I actually considered leaving about halfway through because I didn’t feel like I was getting anything out of it, and in fact, it was stressing me out a bit.

I’m counting on this being a fluke and getting my yoga groove back next time I go.

Not even going to try full wheel

I think I wrote before about trying the yoga class my gym offers and not being all that crazy about it.  I decided this week (after that stressful interlude with a coworker that didn’t last more than an hour but STILL – it was stressful) that I need to find a yoga class I like.  Luckily for me, we live three and a half blocks from a yoga studio with reasonably priced classes.

The assumption for last night’s class was that I had some yoga experience, which I do, even if it’s several years in the past.  I figured I’d just do what I could and rest when I needed to.  I was mostly able to keep up, but HOO BOY am I sore now.  I am hyper-aware of every muscle in my back, but I liked it, I felt comfortable there, and I will go back.

We arranged our mats in a circle, facing in, which was different for me.  The other major difference was the total lack of mirrors.  Want to check your position in the mirror?  No, sorry.  See if stretching all the way out in Warrior II makes you look thinner?  Assume it does and move on, please.  Surreptitiously stare at the amazingly flexible lady across the room?  NOPE. You have to actually stare at her because she’s across the circle staring at YOU, probably judging you for not being able to hold Half Moon for more than two seconds without falling over.  Good thing she doesn’t know you can’t even touch your toes…