My toe is infected. Left big toe. It doesn’t hurt (it hurt a ton on Tuesday, less on Wednesday, and not all now), but the toenail is lifted away from the toe a little, and apparently it’s gross underneath. (According to John. I don’t bend that way, so I can’t see.) The doctor says I’m going to lose the nail, which is also gross, but at least it’s delayed grossness. Right now, from my point of view and most of the rest of the world’s, my toenail is still attached, looks normal, and is a pretty cotton-candy pink. How did it happen? No idea. I wish I knew so I could avoid whatever caused it. The doctor asked me if I run, I said yes, and she shrugged and said it happens. Not helpful. Also ew.
Inane Chatter
What were you expecting?
Melvin?
Ew. Oh well. Maybe you’ll get a discount on pedis.
U. B. Brundlefly
Wasn’t that the first symptom in the movie The Fly?
You haven’t participated in any recent quantum matter-bilocation experiments, have you? If so, I’d stock up on sugar cubes.
Zannah
Because I’ll one fewer toenail to paint? Ew.
Thanks, Greg, now I’m grossed out. More. And I’ll have nightmares. I’ve only seen the parts of that movie they showed on VH1’s I Love the ’80s, and I was very disturbed by it.
U. B. Brundlefly
Still the only movie that’s ever made me cry (true story)
Zannah
I don’t know what to make of that.