I did something for someone at work the other day, and I got an email back: “Danke!” I wanted to reply in kind, so I googled to find out how to say “you’re welcome” in German. (It’s “bitte”. Apparently a multi-use word. Actually, I googled it for French first (I’d already forgotten I could go with “de rien”) – I figured if she was going to go from English to German without warning, I could switch languages, too.)
Anyway, while googling I ran across this article: Why You Shouldn’t Say “You’re Welcome”. The article talks about someone’s suggestion that you reply with “I know you’d do the same for me” when someone says thank you (for a favor or whatever), and I had an almost physical reaction to it. A bad one. That sounds so sinister. So much like “you owe me one” or “I’m holding this over your head” or something else negative. I don’t like it. But I kept reading, and nicely for me, the person writing the article felt the same way about it and continued to look for an alternative.
But even the alternative from the article isn’t something I’m totally comfortable with. “Thank you!” “I know you’d do the same for someone else.” On the one hand, you’re stating an assumption that the person you did the favor for is as helpful as you were and would certainly go out of their way to help someone else. How nice! On the other hand, you’re placing an obligation on that person to do go something nice for someone else. Maybe it’s not a bad thing, but who are you to place an obligation on someone else? I did this for you, so go do something for someone else. Eh – I’m of two minds.
I’m not convinced an alternative is needed. What’s wrong with saying “you’re welcome”? Often, most of the time even, I actually mean it.