Some thoughts

Simone Biles is wearing glitter eyeliner, and it’s making my eyes water.  How is glitter not getting in her eyes?  Maybe it’s magic glitter eyeliner.  She’s got connections.

I helped an old lady with the treadmill at the gym today.  She thought I was 30.  She’s my new best friend.

When I went outside to take the trash out to the curb, I found a scary looking spider in the middle of a web that was stretched between the trash bin and the recycling bin.  Both had to go to the street, so I had to destroy the web.  I’m afraid that spider will be looking for revenge.  Better put my spider traps out tonight.*

*Yeah, I don’t know.  I don’t have spider traps.

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