I had another frustrating run-in with a coworker, and as I walked to CVS, I mapped out an imaginary conversation with her where I tried to find a way for us to get past this stupid thing we keep butting heads about, and I got angrier and angrier because I feel like she’s taking this personally and getting emotional about it and that’s why we’re not able to work through it –
And then I realized how angry I was getting and maybe I’m taking it personally. Of course, the part I’m taking personally is her reaction to my very reasonable request for her opinion on something because it feels like a personal attack, but still. It’s work. It’s not personal. Or maybe it is for her, but that’s not my problem, and it doesn’t have to be for me.
It’s work. It’s not my life.
BUT I’M GOING TO THE OFFICE FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS AND I’LL HAVE TO WORK WITH HER IN PERSON!
Mom
There’s a book (and philosophy) called the The Four Agreements by a so-called Toltec Mexican-Indio “wise” man. You can skip the book because the the four agreements boil down to these:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
I’m on board with three of those, but the one about not taking anything personally is really hard. If you don’t take “anything” personally, doesn’t that mean you don’t care about anything personally? So, for me, I can only TRY not to take things personally. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it just doesn’t work.