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Winter musings

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I should love February.  It’s got a three-day weekend in it, it’s short (a plus in winter), and oh, yeah – it’s got my birthday in it.  If anything would be make like this month, that should do it.  But it’s DREARY.  Winter is still here and the sky is always gray and it’s still cold and just yuck.   Yuck and ew.  My birthday only helps for a couple of days.  It doesn’t make me stop wishing February would just end already and let spring get here faster.  Of course, then I’ll be disappointed by early March.  I’ll be all, “Yo, March!  What’s up with this cold weather?  Don’t you know it’s supposed to get warm as soon as you get here?  What’s wrong with you?  WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?”

A solution: move south.  Or west.  Likelihood?  Very very very very UNlikely.  Besides, I don’t hate winter.  It’s just not my favorite season.  I like it in small doses.  I like it when I’m warm and dry and cozy inside and looking out on the nasty and wet cold weather.  Fires in fireplaces are nice – I wouldn’t get that if I moved somewhere without winter (well, I wouldn’t appreciate them as much).  And snow is pretty, until it gets gray and slushy.  I can pretend I’m a tracker when I see rabbit footprints in the snow.  Snow makes me wonder what a real tracker would make of Riley’s footprints now that he’s missing a foot and has an odd gait.  I don’t find myself pretending or wondering those things when there’s only mud or sand outside.  Maybe I would in sand, but it would be about birds, not rabbits, and they’re not as cute.

There – I can be positive about winter.  Was that convincing?  Maybe I need a daily mantra.

Winter’s not so bad.  Winter’s not so bad.

No, I need it to be more positive.

The sun’ll come out tomorrow.

Nope.  Too positive.  Also untrue.  Also also, no need to burst into song.  That could get awkward, especially at work.

Turn that frown upside down!  Turn that frown upside down!

Psychotic.

This might not work for me.  I just googled daily positive affirmations, and oy.  So not me.  Maybe the bursting into song thing is better for me.  I could go with Oklahoma (Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day) or Mr. Rogers (It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood) or Sesame Street (Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away).  Or Dean Martin (Good morning, life).

Whoa – as I was typing this, the sun came out.  Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up.  (Okay, sure I could, but that would be cheap, and I will not stoop so low.) Aaannnd it’s gone.  But hey, it was there for a few seconds.

Deeply uncool

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I wasn’t going to talk about it (I was trying to be cool), but it just got so much better, and I can’t help myself.  The other day, The Bloggess came to visit my site.  How do I know?  She commented (TWICE!  Sorry – still trying to be cool), and I got all excited and happy and stuff, but you know, that was it, and I moved on because I can be cool about it (I can try to be cool about it – I may have told half a dozen people already).  BUT, three days later, she posted her weekly round-up, and in her list of shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome is the link to the leaping llama!  That she saw here!  Yes, I know I didn’t create it, but I found it, and she came here and liked it, and that’s small and not a big deal, but she’s cool and it’s nice to know she liked it enough to share it with her followers and…I don’t know where I’m going with this.  I’m glad I could help?  I feel like I’m part of that?  Something like a combination of those two things and just yay.

Also from her most recent weekly round-up (linked above) is this list of really funny theoretical moments just before GIFs start.  And here’s the subreddit they came from and where more can be found.  (This is another one I think is really funny.)

LOVE this (from Hank Green, Vlogbrother).  I had to listen to the one about the kleptomaniacs three times – he mumbles the beginning, but it’s so worth it.  Literally.  (Hee!)

Because I don’t know how to post gifs on my blog, here’s a link to an adorable one from Reddit.  And because I DO know how to post pictures, here’s the cutest killer kitty you’ve ever seen (also from Reddit):

And that’s enough stuff I found on the internet today.

How to waste time (enjoyably)

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I spent my weekend (the parts when I wasn’t cooking) watching random internet videos.  (John thinks I don’t know how to internet correctly, but really, he’s the one who’s wrong.)

Watched some My Drunk Kitchen by Hannah Hart, some Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’? by Anthony and Ashly Burch, some Geek and Sundry Vlogs…

Devil Baby Attack video from Dooce is HILARIOUS.

Guys, you have to see this

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How they survive is beyond me. It doesn’t seem like they could get enough to eat.

Riley just ate a giant bowl of dog food and chicken fried rice (with gravy on top, HEATED UP – I’ll get his weight back up if it’s the last thing I do) and then tried to climb into my lap while I sat here at the desk.  First, it’s all “oh, how sweet, my darling dog loves me and appreciates the delicious dinner I put together for him,” and then it was more, “whoa dog, you can’t actually get into my lap, but sure I’ll scratch your head and pet you and hug you and love you,” and then, “OH.  Right.  You just wanted to burp in my face.”  And then he walked away.  This is not the first time he’s done that, but I fall for the “I love you so much, pet me, pet me” routine EVERY DAMN TIME.

He knows I’m talking about him.  He’s curled up on his new dog bed giving me the Stare of Death.  Hey, man, this is what you get.  Being down one leg and having cancer does not excuse the in-your-face-burp.

Oh, who am I kidding?  Of course it does.

Do they really say it that way?

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I was listening to the radio in the car the other day, and I heard a commercial for the National Association of Realtors.  Except they didn’t say it that way.  Not the way I say realtor.  Not the way anyone I know says realtor.  You know, like realter.  Kind of.  Anyway, no.  The guy on the radio announcing the official name of the organization over and over again pronounced it real-tor.  Over and over again.  Tor.  Like the rock formation.  Or the publishing company.  I assume that’s how it’s pronounced.  Tor.  Like or.  Four.  Bore.  Core.  If tor is pronounced “ter”, then I’m just going to keep saying it the wrong way ’cause that’s ridiculous.  But when it’s at the end of a word?  And that word is realtor?  Please.  Real-tor.  As if there are fake tors out there somewhere.

Reminds me of these guys.

Goats!

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Did you know goats are evil?  It’s their eyes.  Their eyes give them away.

All of that adorable playing and attention-hogging is just a ruse. What adorable playing?  This adorable playing!  (Please bear with me through this 2-minute video.  They really do do some cute things.)

Clearly, I met some goats last weekend.  And fed them and played with them and picked a favorite.  (Baxter, the brown one, is my favorite.  Dad’s favorite is Bruiser (black with blue eyes).  Trixie wasn’t all that interested in us.)

Baxter: “Whatcha doin’?” Or possibly, “My plan to take over the world begins with you. Look into my eyes so I can take over your brain.”

Isn’t January over yet?

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I can’t multi-task anymore.  I probably never could, but it didn’t used to be so obvious.  If my brain isn’t ready for, oh, let’s say…work, then work isn’t going to happen.  But when I’ve flipped the work switch to ON (and all connections have been made – no shorts here), then work is all I can do.  It’s all I can do, it’s all I can think about, and it’s all I can talk about.  It’s really annoying.  It’s fine during the workday, of course, but REALLY not okay once I’m home.  I don’t have that kind of job.  And look what I’m doing right now!  Stop it.

Hey, brisket sandwiches!  Are a wonderful thing.  I had one for lunch.  And we’re having leftover non-Mexican chicken corn chowder for dinner.  Because it turned out pretty yummy.

No segue.  Just videos. (Both are from The Daily What via wherever those guys found them. Video 1. Video 2.)

My favorite people are the ones who danced with the guy. I think I’d be one of them.

This is fantastic. Question: could it really be the cat’s first experience with snow? How did the cameraperson know to be ready?

Things are looking up

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It’s time for a Roxy update.

  1. She’s doing SO much better.  She wags her tail sometimes, she gets up without assistance, she meets us at the door and asks to go outside, and she even trots off the deck with some of her old excitement.  Sometimes.  We think the liver medication she’s on might actually be helping.  She’s also not favoring her paws like she was.
  2. Speaking of her paws, we took her to the doggie dermatologist yesterday morning, and he confirmed that her paw problems are most likely caused by her liver issues.  His solution is another antibiotic, another topical cream, and a change in her diet.  He says she needs a special kind of protein, so starting tomorrow (when I can get to the store), Roxy will get cottage cheese and calf liver with her regular dog food for dinner.  She’s going to love it.  The best part is that he thinks this should actually improve her paws, not just keep them from getting worse.

Right now, she’s wearing socks and resting quietly on her bed.  (We’re supposed to keep socks on her paws for ten minutes after putting the new topical cream on them.)  It’s cute.

Speaking of cute (or terrifying – you decide):

John thinks it’s fake. I think it’s hilarious either way. Here’s another one:

And here’s a really neat optical illusion.

All videos courtesy of The Daily What (here and here).

Book Club is coming

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Hey, guys, I have to dive into my book, so I’ll be in hiding tonight (except for yoga class).  Possibly tomorrow, too.  Book Club is this Friday, and according to my Kindle, I’m only 12% into Wild.  Not cool.

Have a video (from The Daily What):

Can you imagine?  I’d like to think I’d turn into Spiderman and be halfway up the elevator walls if I thought the floor was dropping out from under me.  I’d at least be hanging on to that rail for dear life.

Boots and livestock

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I found my boots!  And I’m never shopping again.  Seriously, I am all shopped out.  So back to yesterday’s trip to the Waterford Fair:

Pop quiz, Jess: What kind of chickens are these?

All I know is they were cute and fluffy and not at all phased by the crowds of people streaming by.  This sheep wasn’t particularly bothered by people or dogs, now that I think about it.  I guess the people of Waterford socialize their livestock.

Frosty the Puppy was terrified of the big bad sheep.  They eventually went nose to nose, but then the puppy ran away.

It was cute.  Because puppies.  Also cute?  Ducks getting into water for the first time ever.