What’s work?

I talked to my boss for the first time in over two months this week.  I’m going back to work, part-time, in about a week and a half, so it was time to check in and make sure he was still good with all the stuff we worked out, and you know what?  He is.  I have to go back to work, which sucks, but I’m getting everything I asked for, which makes it a little bit okay.  Part-time, flexible working hours, only one or two regularly scheduled meetings…I don’t get healthcare, which totally sucks, but we can figure that out on our own.  And we will, probably this weekend.

Still, it was really nice not to think about work at all for this long, and I’m a little bummed that I have to think about it again, and then, gasp, actually do it.  I might need some help remembering how to do my job.

No one warned me that could happen

I anticipated smelly poopy diapers  (and the smellier ones still to come) and diaper blowouts and getting peed on.  I anticipated (to a certain extent) having days where I can’t make it into the shower and everything I’m wearing is something I wore the day before and then slept in AND has spit-up on it.  I did NOT anticipate the baby spitting up on me WHILE NURSING and then getting squirmy-yelly-mad when I insist on a 20-second break to mop us both up.  Ew, baby.  I know you ate that once, but it’s not better the second time around.

(See what I did there, Mom and Dad?  His first word isn’t destined to be “gross”.)

Runaway

The other day when I was walking with Jack, we saw a red car driving slowly towards us.  It stopped a few houses ahead, and a white-haired lady got out of the passenger side.  I assumed she was being dropped off, but then she looked at the house across from her and clapped a few times.  If she said anything, I couldn’t hear it. I had time to wonder what on earth she was doing.  As we got level with her, she said “Little black dog wearing a cone.  Have you seen him?”  Ah.  “No, but I’ll keep my eyes open.  If I find him, where should I return him?”  “The house at the end of the cul de sac.  No one’s home, but the door’s open.”  Uh…maybe that’s how he got out?  Or maybe she left it open so he could get back in.  We got beyond the car and I looked down the cul de sac.  There was a little dog in a cone standing in the front yard of the house at the end.  “Ma’am?  Is that him?”  It was.  Probably too embarrassed in the cone to wander far.

Smart little dog.  We had one of those.  And we had one of the other kind.  When Roxy got out, she took off, but if you could get close enough with her leash, she’d come trotting back so we could all go for a walk.  Riley, on the other hand, occasionally got out the back but could always be found waiting patiently to be let in at the front door.

Blue skies, empty head

I did it again.  While walking with Jack this morning, I started drafting a post in my head, and when I got back, I remembered that I’d thought of something, but that’s as far as I can get.  I had hoped it would come back to me when I went out for my “run”*, but no luck.  Gone forever.

*That’s right!  I’ve started exercising (other than walks with the baby in the stroller) again!  It’s a “run” because I can’t call it running yet, or even jogging, not really.  I’m starting from basically nothing, so I’m back to the walk/jog pattern.  Walk for 5 minutes, jog for 1 minute, repeat for at least half an hour (longer when I can get the time).  Do that three times a week (at least), for at least two weeks, then walk for 4 minutes, jog for 2.  It’ll take a long time, but it’s a safe (injury-free) way to get back to running.  And MAN do I want to avoid hurting myself.  I miss running.  The hard part now is figuring out when I can do it.  Jack still has, like, NO pattern.  Not for eating, not for sleeping, and that makes it hard to work out with John when I can leave him with Jack during the work day.  It’s best (for all three of us) if I go out immediately after feeding the baby, but will that be when John can look away from work for a bit?  Hard to say, hard to predict.  But we’ll figure it out.

I did see someone using the same brand jogger that I have and actually jogging with it.  We exchanged brief hellos, but she went by too quickly for me to ask how hold her baby was when she started jogging with her.  The recommended age is 8 months, so it’s likely to be a while before Jack and I jog together.

Nothing much

My brain is mush.  It’s worse than pregnancy brain, I think – it’s exhausted brain.  I’ll think of something to write about, start writing it in my head, and then it’s completely lost by the time I get in front of my laptop (usually days later).  I used to send myself emails with notes in them.  Why don’t I do that now?  Because mushbrain.  So John has the baby right now, I have two hands free, and I’ve got nothing.  Nothing interesting, nothing amusing, nothing more than an account of the day.

I also probably won’t have my hands free for much longer.  John has the baby, yes, but he’s starting to cry (Jack, not John), and it sounds like it’ll turn into the hungry cry any minute now.

I might not have my hands free, but I’ll have a cuddly baby in my arms (when he’s not wailing, he’s SUPER cuddly), John made us a cozy fire in the wood stove, and he’s going to grill us salmon (once HIS hands are free).

This is our exciting Saturday night.

A miracle occurred

Last night, Jack wasn’t tired.  Usually, he falls asleep a little before 8pm, or sometime between 8 and 9, and then he sleeps around 5 hours.  Last night, he wouldn’t sleep.  He was alert, he was looking around (even while nursing), and he just wouldn’t quit.  He was pretty happy, too, not particularly fussy.  He didn’t go to sleep until after 11, and WE were exhausted.  We don’t usually stay up that late.  So he was asleep around 11:20, and we were asleep before midnight, and you know when we woke up?  Around 6:50.  You know what we woke up to?  I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t a crying baby.  No, we woke up to adorable baby sounds.  When we checked the monitor, we could see him rolling his legs back and forth, waving his feet in the air, cooing to himself, eyes open.  IT WAS SO CUTE.  And SO much nicer to wake up to then wailing.  He stayed happy through his diaper change, all smiles and cute noises, even though he MUST have been hungry after over 7 hours of sleep.

I hope I hope I hope this is a magical new phase now that he’s two months old and not just a fluke.

Kanga and Roo

Success!  I am wearing the baby and he is SLEEPING.  I had to get a baby k’tan in the next size up (they say it’s sized for you, but I don’t think they’re taking giant mutant babies into account), and the first time we tried it even in that size, he started screaming.  This morning I gave it a try after he’d been sleeping on my shoulder for about 15 minutes, and after a little fussing, he settled back down.  The only thing I can’t get him to do, though, is turn his head to the side.  He’s in the hug position, so he’s centered in front of me, facing me, with his head in the middle of my chest.  And since he won’t turn his head, he basically has his nose smashed into my sternum.  Not the greatest for sleeping, but he’s managing it.  Hopefully one successful nap will get him used to the feeling and we’ll be able to use it more often, sleeping and awake.  So far, I’ve been able to pour myself coffee, get the creamer out of and back into the fridge, and sit down at the table with my laptop.  I did have to get help from John to get a mug – the shoulders of this thing are pinning my arms to my sides a bit, and I can’t reach above my head.  Still, having both hands available is pretty great.

On the other hand, it’s kind of like being pregnant again, except the baby weighs twice as much and he has a tendency to cry.

Because he’s cute

I should add a gallery feature or something, but that would require more time than I have available to figure out which one and set it up.  Later.  I also have plans to redesign this whole site.  Time for a fresh look.  Also later.  Now?  Baby pictures!

And the first picture of the three of us since the moment he was born:

I’ve forgotten the sound of pages turning

I have a book problem (aside from the addiction).  I love my Kindle, and I have a TON of books to read on it, but I also have a ton of physical books I want to read AND I CAN’T READ THEM RIGHT NOW.  Because of Jack.  The only time I have to read is when I’m nursing him, and I can’t juggle a real book and him at the same time.  Hardcover books are out, of course, and so are trade paperbacks.  I thought I could manage a mass market paperback because I know I can hold it one hand, but I can’t turn the page and hold it at the same time, so there goes that option.  I can hold my Kindle in one hand and still manage to tap or swipe with the same hand to turn the page.  (Thankfully, I can do that with either hand.)  And I really don’t want to read a book on my Kindle if I already have the physical copy.  I’m certainly not going to buy it twice, but even getting it from the library feels wrong.  It feels like cheating to have a book on my shelf that I’ll never touch because I read it in another format.

I could read when he’s sleeping during the day, but so far, either I’m sleeping too or I’m using that time to blog (like right now), sort through the mail and pay bills, make pies (every spare moment yesterday), inventory the baby gifts and make a list of thank you notes to send, do laundry (I should have put that first), shower (should have been second), eat a meal (should have been third)…  You get the picture.

So I keep giving my bookshelf wistful looks when I walk by, but all those books are going to have to wait until I’m not sure when.  When Jack has a more structured nap schedule?  No, I’ll probably have to work during those hours.  When Jack is old enough to read to himself?  Oh, no, I can read those books when Jack is eating solid food and sleeping 12 hours every night.  ‘Cause that’ll happen someday.  Right?

Halloween came and went

Jack was five weeks old on Halloween, and we were still exhausted (we are still exhausted) so we dropped the ball on dressing him up in a costume.  He’ll probably forgive us, but to make it up to you fine folks, here’s Jack doing his impression of a Dr. Seuss character.

Stealing time

My giant mutant child is gaining about a pound a week, which pretty much means he’s eating all the time.  When he’s not eating, he’s usually sleeping, and we’re (I’m) still having trouble putting him down to sleep during the day (he’ll usually wake up crying if he’s sleeping or just start crying if he was quiet and happy), meaning I don’t have my hands free to type.  Or do anything, really, but typing is my goal right now.  Actually, that’s not where I was going with this.  He’s eating all the time, right?  And he has been from the start, but since…Wednesday, I think (which was only yesterday somehow?), he started cluster feeding again, and except for overnight, I fed him nearly every half hour for most of the day because APPARENTLY he’s going through a growth spurt.  Yeah, you read that right.  My giant mutant baby, who already weighs as much as a 6-month-old, is going through a growth spurt.

He got his first round of vaccinations last Friday, so he slept a TON over the weekend (this would be the perfect spot to insert an anti-vaxxer conspiracy theory about the human growth hormones that were probably included in the vaccinations – thanks, Greg, for the idea) and got really clingy.  It’s adorable, but clingy = in my arms = I can’t do anything useful around the house.  And he looks so SAD.  It’s hard to see.  Speaking of crying because the baby is upset, he’s a little bit congested, so last night John was trying to get some snot out of his nose and Jack HATED it.  I’m pretty sure we weren’t hurting him, but the tone of Jack’s crying set me off.  We stopped (and John was more successful this morning).

This morning, Jack and I drove to CVS to get a package of diapers (he has outgrown size 1, and the packages of size 2s we ordered won’t arrive until tomorrow – we’re running dangerously low) and to DD to get coffee.  He fell asleep in the car seat, and he STAYED asleep when I brought the car seat inside (usually he wakes up when we stop moving), so I left him in it and I have stolen this time to transfer pictures from phone to laptop and to write THIS.

Hello.

He’s been asleep for almost an hour and a half.  I don’t know when he’ll wake up, but I expect him to wake up screaming and hungry (he’s done that a couple of times over the past day or two) because he hasn’t eaten in more than three hours.  We shall see.  In the meantime, I was able to eat my bagel and drink my coffee and write this in peace WITH BOTH HANDS.  If he stays asleep a while longer, maybe I’ll conquer the world.  Or finish making our thank you note list.  Same thing, really.

A decade is a long time

Today is the 10th anniversary of my blog.  My very first post (which isn’t very good) was written and published on Nov 7, 2008, just a few days after Obama won the presidential election and the world was bright and beautiful and full of hope.  Oh, how things have changed.

I’ve already mentioned that my 10th year online here has been…lackluster as far as posting goes, but I wanted to at least acknowledge this anniversary.  And here’s visual proof of why my posts have been so sparse.

The day we got home from the hospital:

One week old:

Two weeks old:

Three weeks old:

Four weeks old:

One month!

Five weeks old:

Six weeks old:

This doesn’t excuse the scarcity of posts for the whole of 2018, since he only arrived six weeks ago…except yeah, he kind of is the reason I went missing all year.