I suspect I may not be in charge

I know, I KNOW, that a toddler isn’t entirely capable of deciding what to do.

I know, I KNOW, that if I ask Jack if he wants to do something, he might say yes or no and not mean either one or mean it for 15 seconds and then mean the opposite.

The thing is, he DOES have opinions, and in some cases, it feels really rude not to respect them. He really does not want to do something, something that isn’t mandatory? Okay – we don’t have to do it. SOMETIMES. Sometimes I know he’s saying no because he doesn’t understand, but sometimes I think he really has a preference, and if it’s reasonable to accommodate it, I would like to.

Sometimes that backfires on me.

Take this morning. The plan was to have breakfast and go to the beach for a couple hours. We had no commitments for most of the day, no story times, no play dates, and my first meeting wasn’t until 3pm. Today was the first day after his cold that I felt comfortable taking him around people, and I was looking forward to it. If you asked Jack, so was he. We were going to dig holes in the sand and play with trucks! Go in the water! So much fun.

There was no problem getting the car packed or getting him in it. The beach is only 20 minutes down the road. No problem on the drive. Then we got there. I parked the car and opened my door, and Jack fell apart.

Tears streaming down his face, sobbing, “I want to play on the playground!” “Sweetie, we’re at the beach. We’re going to play in the sand and dig holes and play in the water!” “I want to play on the playground!”

I KNEW he’d calm down and have fun if I could just get him out of the car and onto the beach, but “No, I don’t want to get out of the car! I want to keep my gray shoes on! I don’t want to wear my bathing suit! Let’s ask the kids if they’ll play with me!”

The last line did me in.* “Sweetie, do you want to go to the playground?” Sad hiccuping sobs, “Yeah.” “We have to go home first so I can put on regular clothes.” “I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME I WANT TO PLAY WITH KIDS.” “I hear you. We can, but we have to make a quick stop at home so I can change clothes, and then we can go to the playground. Which playground do you want to go to?”

Whew, calm while he considered the merits of the various playgrounds, and I got the car started. We got out of the parking lot, got maybe a mile back towards home, and then more crying, “TURN AROUND! I want to go to the beach!”

I practiced breathing. “Sweetie, we’re going to the playground to play with kids. We can go to the beach another day.”

A little more crying, I kept driving towards home, and then he asked if Graham, McKenna, Emily, and Uncle Sean would be there. I cautiously said I didn’t know, and he said “Let’s check it out!” So I called Emily, and to my great relief, they were willing to take a break from their other plans and meet us at a playground.

Fun times were had by all, I still made it home in time for my meeting, and the rest of the day was incident-free.

We’re going to try the beach again tomorrow afternoon.

*Also, because of his cold, we hadn’t seen ANYONE in over a week, and on top of that, he was up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night, so he was not at his best. Neither was I.

He knows he’s funny

The other day, Jack asked to watch a video that is no longer available on Amazon Prime. That has happened before, but those videos were available on YouTube. This one is not. So Jack asked for it, and I said it’s not available anymore. I can’t find it.

Jack: Did you check on Amazon?

Me: Yes, sweetie. It’s not on Amazon anymore.

Jack: Daddy is tall. Maybe he can find it.

Me, smothering a laugh: Daddy IS tall, but I don’t think he’ll be able to find it, either.

Jack, glancing out the window toward the neighbor’s house, with a funny little smile on his face: How about…Steve?

I didn’t hide the laugh that time.

A Day

My website is back up (yay!), but I’m feeling a little down. Today was the eighth anniversary of Roxy’s death. Eight years – it feels like forever ago and yesterday. I miss my anti-social puppy.

In cuter news, Jack got butter on his hands this morning and absently rubbed his hair, so he smelled like popcorn all day.

We voted today – the town held a referendum on some school-improvement funding. Jack charmed the election officials (naturally) and got extra “I Voted” stickers.

We went to our first outdoor story time in a year and a half, we took a long walk in the stroller and brought back lunch, we had a dance party before dinner, but the Roxy thing just brought down my whole day.

Up and down

My website has been up and then down, then up and then down, and then up and then down and now up again. (Thank you, Erik, for noticing!) John says something has been attacking it. It’s always easy to bring back up, but he hasn’t had time to get into fixing it yet.

Someday, perhaps, we’ll be more stable around here. In the meantime, if you notice I’m down, please let me know.