The mirror is not my friend today

I just got back from yoga.  It was good, but…  Heh.  More like, it was good, butt…  My yoga instructor had us put our mats up against the wall.  Most of the room is mirrored, so my back was up against the mirror, facing her in the middle of the room.  Then we went into down dog.  Hands and feet on the mat, butt high up in the air, head hanging down.  Because my head was down and my neck was relaxed, I was looking at my legs.  More specifically, I was looking through my legs, between my thighs.  At the mirror.  Where I had a fantastic view of my butt.  And it looked eNORmous.  I’m telling myself it was an optical illusion.  My butt’s not THAT big, right?  Anyone?

On second thought, don’t answer that.


  1. Jess

    Seriously, no one’s butt looks good in that position (maybe Lady Gaga but only because she’s wearing a distractingly bizarre outfit). That view is completely misleading, and you can’t trust it.

  2. Melvin?

    You were driving me somewhere (maybe one of our famous trips to Taco Bell) when ye of the skinny thighs admitted to me that, no matter what your legs look like in real life, they always look fat when you’re looking at your own from a sitting position. And I thought, “Pffffftttttthhh,” because, at the time you and I were both barely toothpicks and the thought of you with thunder thighs was outrageous. Remember that feeling? We both knew we were skinny, but perspective, that looking-down-and-seeing-JUDGING-from that angle is all the negative influence we needed despite knowing that reality was nothing like what our limited view gave us at that vantage point.
    Who cares, really? Who sees your ass from the downward-dog position and judges you on how it’s shaped? I’ll tell you the truth, I haven’t seen you from that angle but, baby, I ain’t judging. I’m proud of you that you can do down dog and see your ass, which may be better than I could do. Not too flexible, this guy (thumbs<<)

  3. Jess

    Dude, I’m not sure why this post reminded me of this – actually, scratch that, I do know – but have you ever seen the film A Midwinter’s Tale? If not: 1) you totally need to, and if you still have such a thing as a VHS player (!), I can make this happen and 2) how is it that I haven’t already done this?

  4. Jess

    Actually, I think I still have such a thing as a VHS player so we can probably still make this happen. It all hinges on connectors at this point. Which kinda makes sense for a hinge.

  5. Zannah

    In order:

    Jess, your first comment has been deleted. And also, thank you, I think. 🙂

    Min, I remember that conversation! And those thighs. Sigh.

    Jess, I haven’t even HEARD of A Midwinter’s Tale, but I’m happy to watch it with you any time. Also, yay wordplay!

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