Sleep update

This won’t turn into a health blog, I promise, but when bug bites and lack of sleep are the only things on my mind, well, I’m sorry.

Last night was just as bad as the night before, even though I didn’t take any Benadryl.  My feet were on fire, so I couldn’t sleep.  Simple as that.  I tried putting hydro-cortisone cream on one foot and after-sunburn aloe on the other, just to if either remedy would help – neither did.  I also tried putting my socks in the freezer and then wearing them.  Back to the tub, at least four times.

I still haven’t collapsed.  Maybe this is a sign that I don’t need as much sleep as I think I do.  Or maybe the collapse is imminent.

Today, however, has been MUCH better, and I have high hopes for sleeping tonight.  I went to the doctor this morning, somewhat embarrassed to be complaining so much about bug bites, and she gave me a prescription topical steroid that has worked for me all afternoon.  I don’t know if that’s because my feet don’t bother me as much during the day or if it’s really working, but I’m going to be positive about it.

This will work!

Update: It didn’t work.  Only super-hot water worked.  Feels awful while my feet are in it, but there’s temporary relief afterward (enough to get to sleep).

Time is relative

Yesterday flew by.  Then last night was the longest night in recorded history, followed by today, which seems like it will never end.  Benadryl  has turned on me.  It is now the enemy, not to be trusted.  Those $#&$%# mosquitoes from the other night left bites that are torturing me.  I couldn’t sleep last night at all.  I bought topical Benadryl – no relief.  Before I went to bed, I let my feet soak in cool water in the tub.  That felt GREAT, but I can’t exactly sleep there.  I took one Benadryl pill around 7 or so, and then the second one around 9:30.  I don’t know if this would have happened on just one, but two was a mistake.  Rather than relieving some of the itching and knocking me unconscious, the itching felt worse than ever and I was WIRED.  Wide awake, heart not exactly racing, but certainly not calm.  I was restless, and my feet were burning.  Within half an hour, I had my feet back in the tub, and not more than another half-hour after that, I moved to the couch so I wouldn’t keep John up all night with my constant tossing and turning.  I tossed and turned on the couch all night instead, watching the clock, unable to sleep or relax.  It was not fun.

I must have slept a little bit – I remember dreams about packing and getting rid of things.  But I also know I looked at the clock some part of each hour at least twice.  I bailed on running with Susan (which I regret now. I was awake – why not go?) and managed to nap some between 6 and 7.  I got up and went to work anyway.  I wasn’t sleepy.  I’m still not nearly as tired as I ought to be, and I’m not looking forward to the collapse.  I’m also not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.  It’s so much worse at night.

I’m seeing a doctor tomorrow (for something else), so if this isn’t better, I’ll be bringing it up.  I just want the itching to stop.  Amputation seems reasonable.

Out of service

John and I spent the weekend smack in the middle of Pennsylvania.  We went up for Molly’s graduation from Penn State and we had almost ZERO cell service the whole time.  It was really annoying.  Should we have expected it?  I’m not sure.  On the one hand, we were in the middle of nowhere.  Maybe it’s reasonable to expect limited service.  On the other hand, we were on Penn State’s ENORMOUS campus.  They have LOTS of students – how could they not have LOTS of cell towers?  Back to the first hand, though, we were there with thousands upon thousands of students AND their families.  Maybe we just couldn’t get our share of the network.  It sure seemed like everyone else could. As we left town (later than either of us wanted) Sunday afternoon, all of the texts and emails we’d missed all weekend came pouring in.  We felt so out of touch.

On the plus side, it was a beautiful weekend to find ourselves out in the middle of nowhere.  Lots trees, blue sky, mountains.  It was pretty.  I like pretty.  Also, I got to wear two of my favorite dresses, so I felt pretty, too.

I guess I’m not in control of my own destiny

Remember how yesterday I was going to leave work early and enjoy some sunshine?  Yeah…I shouldn’t have said it out loud.  The universe didn’t take it well.

“Oh, you want to leave early?  You’re a little frustrated with work?  Looking forward to some nice spring weather?  Need a break?  Oh, ha ha ha.  That’s so cute.  Tee hee.  That you should have such aspirations – oh, it’s too much.  Really.  Pardon me while I wipe away tears of hilarity.  Oh, ha.  Hum.  Hee.  YOU WILL BE PUNISHED.”

A three hour conference call began at 3pm.  I left work at 6:30.  I might need to placate the universe somehow.  I’m sorry!  I didn’t mean to offend!

Update: It JUST occurred to me that yesterday was April Fool’s Day.  Was this a cosmic joke?

Where’s my list?

I used to be organized.  I think.  Or at least I felt organized.  This is mostly about work, not home stuff, but I could do better about the home stuff, too.  Work has been nothing but crisis management for me for weeks.  Months, maybe.  It’s getting old, but I could handle that if I could stop feeling like I’m dropping everything else.  And I don’t know what “everything else” is anymore.

This is manageable. I can fix this.  I just need to put everything back in order.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do that.

Maybe it’s an excuse to buy office supplies!  That might make me feel better, but I don’t think it’ll solve my problems.  A better to-do list might actually help.  A better idea of what should be ON my to-do list would help a lot.

I can DO this!

Some days it’s harder to stay positive

Things to remember that are good right now:

  • Our house is under contract.
  • I’m going on vacation in a week and a half to someplace warm and sunny.
  • um….

I mean, sure, I could start listing things like friends and family who are wonderful, and that John and I are in good health, and we have a roof over our heads and jobs we don’t hate, but that starts to sound treacly and some other word I can’t quite put my finger on.  YES, there are plenty of things to be happy about or grateful for or whatever, but GAH!  I feel stuck sometimes.  Still in the house, still going to the office every day, still living the same life.  Where are my changes?

[Pause for perspective]

That’s a little ridiculous (a lot ridiculous).  I’ve been making changes all along.  I’m exercising more, doing things I like with people I like.  I make more time to read (on weekends, anyway).  John and I have been enjoying more of the geeky things in life (all those games, some of the TV we watch).  My time is more my own (our time is more our own), and I need every minute of it.

Maybe I’ll stop whining.  For now.  Just a little break.

I should have checked it myself

I went to the eye doctor Friday afternoon, got my new prescriptions (glasses and contacts), and spent a few minutes trying on a ton of frames.  I narrowed it down to three, but it was the end of the week and I didn’t want to make any more decisions that day and besides, I wanted John’s opinion since he has to look at me, so I asked them to save the three I liked so I could come back this weekend.  I had the same conversation with TWO people who work there.  I said I would come back Saturday or Sunday.  I definitely listed BOTH days as possibilities.  NEITHER of them thought to say, “But we’re closed Sunday.”  Since they didn’t say it, I assumed they’d be open.  Silly me, assuming things.  I didn’t bother checking online to see if they’d be open on Sunday because I had TWO conversations with employees about how I might come back on Sunday to buy frames and THEY DIDN’T TELL ME THE PLACE WOULD BE CLOSED.  (I’m mildly annoyed.)

John and I got in the car, drove over to the place, found it locked.  Yup, the hours listed clearly say it’s closed on Sundays.  Tomorrow, I’ll call first.  I had a conversation with the guy showing me frames on Friday about how I have Monday off, and he specifically said he doesn’t, that he’d be working, so I’m pretty sure they’re open tomorrow, but I have learned my lesson.  You can’t trust anybody these days.

Ouch update

My back doesn’t hurt as much anymore, and there are times it doesn’t hurt at all.  I mentioned it to my yoga instructor Tuesday night, and she added some stretches to our routine for me (and I remember them, so I can do them on my own).  Then I mentioned it to Nick in class Wednesday morning (he wanted us to do leg lifts with our arms stretched out over our heads instead of hands tucked under our tailbones and WOW does that make my lower back twinge), and he gave me an exercise that should strengthen my lower back muscles.  Maybe this is an ache that would have gone away on its own, or maybe it’s a result of something I did over the weekend, or maybe the fact that our mattress is almost 15 years old is catching up to me (or maybe the fact that I’m almost 36 years old is catching up to me), but at least I have stretches and exercises I can do that may help keep it away.

My back may be feeling better, but I woke up this morning with a weirdly achy right forearm.  I think I must have slept on it funny because I can’t remember doing anything to it, and it definitely didn’t hurt last night.  Maybe I pinched a nerve or something.  I keep trying to stretch and twist it to see if I can shake it loose.

Am I falling apart?

Ouch

I think I hurt myself.  I don’t know how, but the pain (an ache that’s occasionally sharp) in the lower right corner of my back started yesterday morning.  I can move around like normal, but I don’t like this pain.  I thought it might go away overnight (nope) or after I got some exercise this morning (no, but it might have gotten a little better), and then I completely forgot to take any pain medication during the day (maybe an indication that it wasn’t bothering me at work?).  Now that I’m at home, I can feel it again.  Maybe I was just busy enough at work not to notice.

I keep thinking that if I can stretch it out, it’ll go away.  It’s just hard to figure out how to stretch.  Right this minute, my laptop is on the dining room table, and I’m on my feet, bending at a 90-degree angle to type, with my hips shifted slightly to the right.  I think I’m stretching the right spot.  I’m certainly very aware of it.

This is ridiculous.  I’m going to take some ibuprofen right now.

It’s almost time

The prep is almost over.  We’ve bought all the Christmas presents, wrapped everything, and picked up everything we’ll need.  The laundry is done, and the house is not a complete disaster.  All that’s left is to pack and do a little light cleaning.

I was going to post something last night, but Broadchurch is finally on Netflix.  (!!Yay!!)  We watched the first episode on YouTube months ago, but that was kind of a pain, so we figured we’d wait.  Last night we watched three episodes (hence the lack of posting), and only the knowledge that Doug would beat us senseless if we were too tired to defend ourselves in class this morning kept us from watching the last two.  Now we’re going to have to wait for the weekend.  It’s going to be difficult.  Turns out I missed seeing David Tennant on my television screen.  (Sigh.  I love him.)

So we went to bed, but my book kept me up later than I’d planned (I just started Attachments by Rainbow Rowell), and then I had a dream about a zombie woman who was attacking my car (which has NOTHING to do with my book – there are no zombies (yet)), so I’m pretty darn tired this morning anyway.  Starbucks helps.  At least my drink was right today.  I went Monday morning, and for the first time in forever (who’s singing with me?), they got my drink WRONG.  Like god-awful wrong.  And I didn’t realize it until I got to the office.  It didn’t ruin my morning or anything (I’m not that much of a drama queen), but it was awful.  I like mint, and I like mint chocolate, but I don’t want mint anywhere near my coffee.  A peppermint white mocha smells horrendous and tastes worse.  I shudder just thinking about it.

I’m having a day

I’m feeling grumpy today.  It’s Monday, for one.  I’m not Garfield (I do love lasagna), but I don’t know anyone who’s truly pleased when Monday starts.  We were both sound asleep when the alarm went off, so dragging ourselves out of bed was difficult, and then small tasks seemed to be too tricky to handle.  Before boxing this morning, an eyelash tried to stab me in the eye, so we lost time getting that taken care of, and then John couldn’t dig his keys out of the small bag they were hiding in, and I had trouble keeping my wraps from twisting while I was putting them on (in the car, in the dark).  And that’s all before 6am.  Not a good start.

Work didn’t help (although nothing happened, so work didn’t hurt, either), but  I would really appreciate it if I could get my weekend back, have a do-over, and try Monday again.  Actually, since doing Monday AGAIN doesn’t sound all that appealing, how about if we just skip ahead to this coming weekend?  I don’t have anything all that important going on this week anyway.

No more, I’m begging you

It’s not supposed to snow in March!  We got another 5 or 6 inches today.  It’s over now, and we shoveled most of it just before noon.  I think Riley is tired of it, too.  We were playing out front, and when he was done, he headed to the house at a fast trot (a hop-trot really, since his trot doesn’t look so horse-like anymore).  Sadly (for him, hilariously for us), he found a slick spot on the edge of the driveway, lost his footing, and faceplanted into the snow in the front yard.  He’s not hurt, just embarrassed.  Now we’re all hanging out in front of the fire, working and napping and dreaming of summer.

Oh, the guilt!

I skipped posting yesterday (and Monday, I think), and I just can’t live with myself.  I was doing so well!  All but two days in January, and then all of February….until this week.  This week has been hard.  Not enough sleep (thanks, Riley), too many meetings and not enough actual work at work, other stuff – I would like a vacation, please.  One where John and I can be quiet together and read and sleep and play on the internet and watch TV and not have to talk to other people or work or think about house things.  I don’t see that in our future.  There’s too much to do.  But it’s not like we’re not having ANY fun.  I mean, the Moulin Rouge sing-along was pretty darn fun.  Oh, dudes.  I won a can-can contest.  For reals.  Although I’m sure it helped that not one of the three contestants actually knows how to can-can.  But it was fun.  And I have proof (in the form of very grainy pictures from far away).  That’s me in the middle.

Goes with the territory

I don’t want to do the whole cliché “I hate Mondays” thing, like Garfield or that song by that one guy where the girl kills herself (I almost typed “where the girl girls herself” – I have no idea what that could mean), and NO, I don’t have a case of the Mondays, but ugh.  Mondays, you know?  (I really mean this, but I’m finding it hard not to smile at the ridiculousness of writing about it – ooh, solution!)  They wouldn’t be so bad if we had a day off in the middle of every week.  No work on Wednesdays!  That’s my battle-cry.  Or it will be.  My focus is entirely on lunch right now – more specifically, putting off lunch.  I’m hungry NOW, but I’m going grocery shopping after work today, which means dinner will be later, which means I’ll be hungry while I shop, which is bad.  So.  Eat lunch a little later, make it through grocery shopping without buying everything in sight because I’m the hungry hungry caterpillar.  I can do it.  I can make it to 1pm.  I can.

While I’m watching the clock, let’s talk about something completely different: it is fundamentally funny to overhear developers having serious conversations about clobs and blobs.  Yes, I work in IT, and yes, I know what they are (in the most general way – for the curious, they refer to different methods of storing data in a database.  Those of you who know better: how wrong am I?  No, wait – you don’t have to tell me), but that doesn’t make the words less silly.  The visuals are fun, though.  Maybe the world on the other side of my cube’s wall is animated.  It’s a childishly-drawn cartoon where clobs and blobs have faces and personalities and need to be readily identified by others.  You know, maybe.

Take deep breaths and count to ten

I’ve been really irritated with Amazon this week.  It’s probably (almost certainly) not their fault, but that doesn’t change how I’ve felt (and how I feel now – there’s no need to be rational).  I got my new phone last Saturday (which you already know).  The Sprint store didn’t have any accessories for it, so the first thing I did when I got home that night was go to Amazon and order a screen protector and a case (three, actually – I can’t decide until I see them in person).  Unfortunately, nothing I ordered was being fulfilled by Amazon directly – they were all coming from the sellers.  My order status was “Preparing for Shipment” starting Saturday night all the way until last night, when the stuff finally shipped.  That might have been okay, but the estimated delivery dates were Jan 31st to Feb 4th the entire time, and there was a message about the status that said the delivery dates wouldn’t be affected.  I’m going to have to call bullshit on that.  If you don’t ship until late Wednesday night, there’s no way the package is going to be delivered by Friday (short of using some sort of express shipment method, which I did not pay for and was not expecting).  So why not adjust the delivery dates?  That’s totally something Amazon controls.  Yes, I’ll probably still have it by the time I get back, but all week I’ve been hoping to have that stuff before we leave for the weekend and now my hopes are dashed.  Dashed!  Manage my expectations, Amazon!  It would have been so easy to set me up for mild disappointment that I wouldn’t have my stuff in time instead of irritation that you jerked me around.  I’m running around with a phone that doesn’t have a screen protector and has NO case whatsoever and now I have to travel with it that way.  Disappointment is acceptable.  Irritation is, well, irritating.  Too bad I don’t go to yoga anymore – maybe yoga would help me transform my irritation into acceptance.

Cataloging my symptoms, just for you

Why read my book when I could be watching Supernatural?  This is how I know I’m sick.  I’m not knocking Supernatural, but when I can’t summon the willpower to focus on a book when I have a whole day ahead of me, there must be something wrong.  And there is, in the sinus congestion, inflated head, throbbing headache behind one eye kind of way.  I took medicine, of course, so add weird loopy dryness to the list.  I can breathe freely through my nose, but my head is still congested.  And I’m having slight difficulty swallowing.  But I feel fine from the shoulders down.  Except for some mild aching….  This print is really tiny.  I’m going back to the couch and my TV.

Not again

I think I might be getting sick.  I can’t tell yet if it’s just seasonal allergies, but since John just got over the flu, I’m a little nervous.  My head is a little (not a lot) congested, my throat is sore enough to hurt when I swallow, the lymph nodes right under my jawline are swollen, and I think I had a fever for a little bit during the night – I woke up freezing and shivering and went scrambling for socks and warmer clothes and more blankets.  Everything but the fever could mean allergies – that stuff happens to me every spring.  And fall.  And at random times throughout the rest of the year.  I was planning on running today, but I think I’m not going to.  We have a 5K with Jess in less than a week, but I gave up any hope of a good race a few weeks ago.  Running today wouldn’t help that much, and a day of real rest might.  So I’m going to do nothing.  Almost nothing.  I might go to the library with John.  Maybe.