house

We don’t sound desperate, right?

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The perfect couple came and looked at our house yesterday.  Please buy our house!  As soon as they walked in the door, the husband complimented my sweatshirt (I really like to dress up for showings).

dysentery

Then he noticed the games on our shelves and they both geeked out a little over Betrayal at House on the Hill (and thank you very much to Jess for introducing us to that one).  His wife hates being the traitor.

betrayal

If you don’t buy our house, please move in nearby.  We could be friends!

Common courtesy

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Is it so unusual for people who are selling their houses to actually be living in them?  To actually request a heads up before someone comes to see the house, particularly if it’s a weekend or an evening?  I mean, we make plans, too.  We eat meals, we shower – we’d like to be sure that we and the house are ready.  I imagine most people selling a house are in the same boat.  But every agent who calls to set up a showing seems surprised and put out that we live there.  We ask for a window of time when they expect to show up so we can make sure we’ll be there or that the house is ready.  We have NEVER said no – we’ve always managed to accommodate them.  And then they so rarely actually show up during that window.  TWICE an agent has called to say they’re running late and/or not coming, and we think they’re angels for doing that.  That’s how low the bar is right now.

Yesterday, an agent called to set up a showing  between 11 and noon this morning (Saturday).  No problem.  We were ready at 11.  It’s 12:30 now.  Around 12:15, I called her to see if 1) they’re still coming, and 2) if she could give us an idea when that might be.  I’m always super nice about that call – I get that they’re looking at a lot of houses and a schedule is hard to keep to.  So they’re still coming, and she thinks it’ll be near 1.  We’ll see.  A courteous person would have noticed the time (maybe around 11:45), realized they weren’t going to make the window, and called us first to let us know and see if we could wait or arrange another time.  OF COURSE, we’re going to be accommodating – we want to sell our house.  Just, you know, CALL us to let us know you’ll be late.

I know not all real estate agents are pushy and rude and inconsiderate (they just can’t ALL be like that),  but it seems like those who aren’t are in the minority.  A very small minority.  Where are they?

Flaky agent

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We like our real estate agent, mostly.  He’s a little odd, but in an interesting way, and he talks too much (when we get back from being out during an open house, we want you to go home so we can relax), but he’s nice, and he’s giving us a discount, and he’s doing the hard part of selling our house for us (except that he hasn’t sold our house yet).

HOWEVER

At least three times (I think four, but I can only think of the reasons he gave for three), he has flaked on us for an open house.  The first time, his mom broke her leg, and he was the son in charge of getting her to the hospital and helping out. We totally get it, sorry it happened, do what you need to do, we’ll do the open house ourselves.  No problem.  The second time is the one I don’t remember the reason for.  The third time was two weeks ago.  I got a text 45 minutes before the open house was supposed to begin saying that he was stuck in traffic in Maryland and would get there as soon as he could.  Then he didn’t respond to my next text, and he didn’t answer when I called.  So we started the open house ourselves, and when it was halfway over, I texted him again to tell him to just skip it – go home.  He didn’t respond.  Later, we got an email about the horrendous traffic and how he’s so sorry and blah blah.  Sure, things happen.  But seriously?  Where the hell was he exactly, and why stop responding to me?  The fourth time was today.  About 90 minutes before the open house was scheduled to start, I got a text from him saying his dad is having chest pains and he’s going to the hospital to be there for him.  My response, again, is of course, I hope he’s okay, do what you need to do, we’ll handle the open house ourselves.  No response.  And we haven’t heard from him since.

So what’s going on?  We’re no longer certain when he’s being truthful.  Are these excuses to not do the open houses?  We’ve told him we understand if he doesn’t want to do it every single weekend.  He could get someone to cover for him (which he’s done once) or we could take a week off.  He’s the agent – what should we do?  He says keep doing them.  Okay, then.  He keeps sign in sheets when he does show up for them, but we never see them (we haven’t asked yet), and it seems like every week, 5-6 people come through (so he tells us when we get home).  But on those occasions when we do the open houses, we get one person.  Maybe two (it was two today).  So how is he always getting 5-6 people in?  Last week, he did the open house, and he said only two people came, so that felt true (even if it sucks).  Are the other times exaggerations?  Or the truth?

Making an effort to relax (Is that an oxymoron?) (YOU’RE an oxymoron.)

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I don’t want to be stressed.  So I’m declaring the house a stress-free zone.  (We’ll ignore the fact that the house is part of the problem.)  I don’t want to mix home-time with the outside world.  I’d like to come home and just relax.  If it’s not in the house, I don’t want to think about it.  Tonight has been a good start.  John was home when I got home, and we sat down to eat.  Watched an hour of TV, and now we’re listening to classical music and playing on our laptops at the dining room table.  Bedtime is not far off (tomorrow morning starts at 4:45), and tomorrow night I might try going back to yoga.  I want time that is quiet and peaceful and smells like lavender.  (I always want to spell “lavender” like “calendar”, but I get to the -dar at the end, realize it’s wrong, wonder why it’s wrong, change it, and move on.  Every time.)

If I have to deal with winter (it got dark so EARLY), I want my winter to be warm and cozy and quiet and relaxing and you know, since our house isn’t selling, that doesn’t seem like too much to ask.  I want to stay HOME.

Riley swears it was a beaver

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After more than two months of trying to sell our house on our own, with only the two low offers right at the beginning, John and I decided to hand the work over to someone else.  We signed with an agent last Sunday, so now he’s in charge of marketing our house and following up with the people who come to see it.  He’s the guy who put us on the MLS for a small fee, and he’s been super helpful these months, answering all kinds of questions and providing advice, so we figured if anyone was going to get a commission from us, it should be this guy.  He hosted an open house for us today, freeing us up on a Sunday afternoon for the first time in a while, and our fingers are crossed that he’ll get our house sold.

We’re anxious to get moving, and not just because the life we have planned is going to be so cool.  We need to get out of this house before Riley destroys it.  He’s never been a chewer.  Really, never.  That was Roxy, and she was only destructive when she was a puppy.  Riley was never interested in chew toys, even, unless he was taking them away from her, and then he didn’t bother to eat them.  He just kept them away from Roxy.  So imagine our surprise (and horror) when we came home last Saturday morning to find this:

And this:

And this:

We were only gone for TWO HOURS.  And, of course, we had an open house planned for the next day.  We spent the whole rest of that Saturday fixing the house.  It’s all better now – no sign of the rampage Riley must have begun the second we got in the car.  He took a chunk out of another wall (similar to the last picture) a couple of days later, but he hasn’t done anything else like it since then.  We brought in a couple of sticks from the yard, and he seems to be focusing on those.  During the open house today, we took him to a pet store and he picked out a couple of chewy things (which was also kind of jaw-dropping – he’s never paid any attention to what’s going on in the bins in pet stores).  We don’t want to have to crate him all day, so hopefully the chew toys will work.

Open House #2

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Lots happened last week, everyone.  We had our open house last Sunday (from noon to 5), and we had a whopping TWO people come by the whole time.  We were a little disappointed, but the second person stayed for a while, asked a ton of questions, and seemed fairly serious about it.  (Also, I kind of know her through the gym.)  That night we got a call from her realtor – boom.  An offer.  Her realtor was god-awful and terribly rude to us (we’re doing a FSBO for a reason – we’re willing to give 1% to the buyer’s agent, not 3), but the offer came in anyway.  It was a little low, but dude!  An offer!  So we panicked.  Kind of.  We were SO not prepared for that.  We had planned on using a real estate attorney to help us with closing, but we hadn’t even begun to find one.  Also, the buyer only gave us 18 hours to respond (the offer came in at 9pm Sunday – she gave us until 3pm Monday), so we spent Monday morning frantically trying to a) find a lawyer and/or b) figure out how we should counter.  Because we wanted to counter.  It was a reasonable, very fair counter.  Anyway, I found a real estate lawyer (through my gym again) who gave us great advice, and then at 2:45 (because that’s when I heard back from our new lawyer) I printed out the offer, made our changes, initialled and signed everything, scanned in the signed copy, emailed it to John, who printed, initialled and signed, scanned it in, and emailed the whole thing back to the agent.  At 2:50, I emailed her to let her know it was coming.  She got it by 3:15.  We gave them until 5pm Tuesday (a whole 26 hours) to get back to us.

Silence.  Just nothing.  No response.  Wednesday morning, I emailed the agent to confirm that their lack of response meant they weren’t interested in countering or accepting.  She replied quickly to tell me that was correct, and that was the end of that.  Except that we plan to email the buyer directly (because we have her information and I kind of know her) just to check in and be friendly.  There’s really no reason we haven’t done it yet.  Anyway, even though it didn’t pan out, it was exciting, and we feel good about it.  We do NOT regret not taking her initial offer.

Tuesday night we showed the house to a guy who seemed positive but is in no hurry whatsoever.  We made a deal with an agent we really like (he’s given us all kinds of advice on how to sell on our own, how to deal with buyer’s agents and the whole commission thing, and lots of other things) to have him list our house on the MLS for a flat fee, so we’re out there for agents to find us.  We’re having an open house right now (and clearly so overrun with people that I don’t have any time to write….oh, wait a minute), from noon to 3, with a showing between 3 and 3:30 and a guy who’s going to come by around 1.

It’s been busy.  We’re still homeowners, Riley is in a slow decline (his x-rays Monday morning were not positive), work sucks and is about to get suckier, and it’s the one-year anniversary of Roxy’s death, but hey – I had a milkshake for dinner last night and the weather is beautiful.  It’s not all bad.

I expect buyers to magically appear

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Our ad is now on Zillow and ForSaleByOwner.com, too.  The craigslist ad has generated two emails, one from a property management company asking if we’d rent it and one from a buyer’s agent.  The open house started 90 minutes ago, and we’ve had one person stop by.  She lives in a townhouse in the area (she walked here) and is looking for something bigger.  Which is not us.  She was nice enough, but it’s still depressing.  And yet!  It’s silly to feel this way.  Our ad has been on craigslist for barely over 24 hours.  We didn’t advertise our open house anywhere else.  We have signs at the top and bottom of our street and a sign in the yard.  Why would I expect anyone to know about it?  So.  I’ll get over this right now and enjoy a quiet afternoon.

House for sale – take 2

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It’s official (again).  Our house is on the market (again).  The difference this time?

We’re doing it ourselves.  We did the bathroom remodel (floor, vanity, sink, paint), and we’ve gotten rid of more stuff (last weekend included a garage clean-out, more donations, and a trip to the landfill), we’ve rearranged the house (again – the dining room table is back in the dining room and the family room is back to being largely empty), and we’ve CLEANED.  Today, we put an ad on craigslist and bought the sign (and replaced the rear struts in the car, cleaned the house, and mowed the lawn).  Tomorrow, we have an open house.

I hope people come.

The bathroom is a bathroom again!

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Technically, the bathroom was never a bathroom as it does not and never has had a bath in it.  It’s a shower room.  Or a toilet and sink and shower room.  Lots of things with water, so let’s go with water closet.  The master water closet.  Anyway, it’s done!  Except for some minor cosmetic details like painting the trim and the window sill, but those are minor cosmetic details and so they don’t count and I can say it’s done!  Oh, and the door.  Shoot.  Painting the door is a little more than minor.  I mean, it’s white, but it could be whiter.  No, we’re done!

We’re very happy with it.

 

LOVE

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I have just fallen in love with a brand of yogurt.  OMG, you guys, seriously.  The company is Liberté, and wow, this stuff is good.  Creamy and delicious.  Yum.  I tried the Méditerranée Strawberry, and I would like some more please.

I’m okay.  Really.

Anyway, after I posted yesterday, we had an epiphany about the pipe problem and the vanity drawer.  Why shorten the pipe (which, it turns out, might require a blowtorch) when we can shorten the drawer instead?  Just not today.  For now, we can live with a drawer that doesn’t quite shut.  Haven’t hooked up the sink yet, anyway.

Drained

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It’s a gloomy, chilly Sunday, and we’re putting the new vanity into place and realizing that it doesn’t fit exactly.  We got one that has a cabinet door on side and two drawers on the other.  Problem: the drawers are too deep.  One of the water pipes will keep the drawer from closing all the way.  There’s a solution, of course (shorten the pipe), but it adds complications and time.  I don’t think John was planning on spending his entire Sunday on plumbing.  We spent our entire Saturday on this bathroom (two coats of paint, and we went to Home Depot to buy the vanity and the sink and the faucet and matching towel rod and toilet paper holder).  It would be nice to have a couple of hours of daylight free. On the other hand, we’re so close!

There’s no way it’ll be this easy

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We got an interesting call this afternoon.  Since we took the house off the market around Thanksgiving last fall, we’ve been dodging two or three calls a day from local realtors trying to get us to list with them.  We almost never answer the house phone anymore because it’s ALWAYS a real estate agent.  We’re going to go back on the market, but we’re going to sell it ourselves.  Anyway, I got distracted while working from home today, and I picked up the phone when it rang.  It was someone in real estate asking us if we were still looking to sell our home because she might have some potential buyers.  Hm.  She asked if we’d like her agent to call us.  Sure.  I hung up.  John said there’s no way they actually have interested buyers – this must be another ploy to get us to list with them.  Well, I can get rid of them if that’s the case.  So then we got another call.  I recognized the name as an agent who showed our house once last fall when our regular agent wasn’t available (actually, she didn’t – a junior member of her team did), although she didn’t remember us until a few minutes in.  Anyway, she has buyers looking in our area.  I told her we’re listing it ourselves and we aren’t really ready to go back on the market just yet, but we’re close.  And I said if they’re in a rush, given some notice, we might be able to prep the house to show it to them sooner, but we’ll definitely need notice because we are NOT show-ready now.  I didn’t tell her our master bathroom is still without a toilet (currently hanging out in the office) and vanity.  Hopefully we’ll have finished the bathroom before anyone wants to see it.  If not, well, we’ll just tell them our plan and hope it doesn’t scare them away.  John is spackling.  Then we can paint.  I would really like to have the bathroom back together by the end of the weekend.

Oh, she asked what we’re asking for it.  Yeah…we haven’t really talked about that yet.  So I told her I could tell her what we listed it for last fall, and that we’d probably start in that ballpark this time, too.  Hope that was okay. What am I saying?  Of course it was okay.  These buyers, whoever they are, are not going to want our house.  That’s how this is going to go, assuming this wasn’t some diabolical plot by our former agent to sabotage our For Sale By Owner plans and sneak back in as the listing agent through her colleagues.

There’s just no way.

But wouldn’t it be nice?

The last piece!

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Okay, it’s not that earth-shattering – there’s still a ton to do.  But John got the L-shape cut he needed and he set the last two tiles last night!  Yay for a fully-tiled floor!  Next is grouting.  THEN painting.  Then toilet, then vanity.  Shoot, we still need to buy a vanity.  We’re thinking something like this:

We need to find out if it’s in the store (it wasn’t that day, but maybe we weren’t looking in the right place) or if we have to order it.  But yay for tile!

Bathroom tile breaks sometimes

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John and I bought the bathroom tile yesterday morning, and then we spent today actually laying it down.  We have completed a very (very) important step in this mini bathroom remodel.  First, we did the layout.  We needed to know how many whole tiles we could use and how many (and how much) we’d have to cut.

Not sure why we didn’t put that one missing piece in – maybe I figured we had the idea?

From another angle:

Oh, hey, there’s the piece. Camouflage.

Then we picked them all up and started actually setting the tile with mortar and stuff.  I helped (a little).  Once all the whole pieces were down, John started cutting the other pieces to fit and oh dear god that is one of the WORST noises ever in the whole entire world.  Also, one of our three boxes of tile had a whole bunch of tiles that kept breaking and NOT along the line John was trying to cut them.  Very irritating.  And I’m shuddering just remembering the noise of the tile cutter.  My skin is crawling.

Here are all the tiles actually glued down.

All those little spacers kinda make it look like Arlington Cemetery in there.

The only pieces missing are the two up near the shower.  One will be whole, but the other has to be cut in a L shape – that’s going to be difficult.  Almost certainly beyond the capability of our cheap little tile cutter.

Then we’re going to paint (still deciding on a color – suggestions?), put the molding back on, grout, put the quarter-round back on, put the toilet back in, and oh yeah – we still have to buy a replacement vanity and sink.  So it’ll probably be a couple more weekends before we’re done.

In progress

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I didn’t take a before picture.  Oops.  Yesterday, we took out the toilet (fairly straightforward) and the vanity (not so straightforward) and ripped up the linoleum floor.  The vanity had been put in around the existing plumbing, when the house was built, so it wouldn’t just come out after we removed the valves on the hot and cold water pipes.  We had a choice – cut the pipes or cut the back of the vanity.  John chose to cut the vanity (we’re replacing it anyway).  Also, the cold water pipe kept on dribbling water even though the water was turned off to the whole house.  So, you know, that was fun to keep cleaning up.  But now there’s a big empty space where it used to be.

I’m waving at you. Say hi!

And there’s a toilet in the office.

Today we measured and cut the backerboard (what the tile will be glued to) and John glued it down to the floor.

You can see the hole where the toilet belongs.  (There’s a rag stuffed in it – apparently that’s necessary.  I’d rather not wonder why.)  The shop vac is where the vanity goes.  I took the picture standing just outside the shower.  Next we buy the tiles.

Guess who’s trying new things

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John and I started a mini bathroom remodel this morning that is turning out to be a bit more complicated than expected.  Not a lot, and I’m certain it’s still within our capabilities (or John is certain, which is enough for me), but it’ll take a little longer.  I’ll have some pictures tomorrow.  We went to Home Depot this morning to pick up some things and came right home to get started.  There were a few things John had to do that he didn’t need my help with, so I busied myself with the music selection.  I tried a bunch of existing genre stations I wasn’t in the mood for and then decided to create one based on “Modern Nature” by Sondre Lerche (which you may recognize (I know Mom will) as the song played over the credits of Dan in Real Life).  My new station (which is on John’s Pandora account – I’ll have to create it on mine) is AWESOME (in an indie pop/rock kind of way).  And I discovered some songs I like very much.

“Hard Luck Tom” by The Silver Seas

“The Show” by Lenka

“She Moves In Her Own Way” by The Kooks

What I should have said to our real estate agent

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The relationship between a real estate agent and her client is purely business (or should be).  Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I don’t like you, but please remember that I hired you.  We’re not friends.  I don’t have to like you, and you don’t have to like me.  It’s nice when we like each other, sure.  And we certainly started that way.  But I reserve the right to stop liking you when you don’t listen to what I’m saying, completely disregard my opinion, assume I’m greedy, and then try to manipulate me into doing what you want.  EVEN THOUGH WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT IN MY BEST INTEREST.  It’s in YOURS, certainly, but not in mine.

Emotional blackmail will get you nowhere.  This is no longer a relationship (business or personal) I want to be in.  Luckily, we only have to wait a few weeks before we are free of you.