I’m not going to talk about work

The continuing saga of the mysterious battery drain

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My car dies sometimes.  We thought we were holding the problem at bay by pulling the master fuse when we’re not in the car because that would keep the accessories (radio, lights, clock, etc.) from draining the battery while it’s off.  John was supposed to be using the time we were buying by doing that to research the problem so he could fix it for me.  We got about a year out of the last battery, which we replaced right after Christmas (just a few weeks ago).  Fresh new battery means no problems for a while, right?  Yeah…no.  I was able to start the car (and drive it places) three different times Monday night (after leaving it sitting in the driveway for three full days), but Tuesday morning it was dead.  Since I still pull the master fuse out every night, nothing on that panel can be what’s killing the battery (there goes my new radio).  The locks have been acting up all this time, too, so that night when we got home (in the dark, in the rain), John unplugged the relay for the power locks (and possibly some other relay, but I haven’t found anything else that’s been disconnected yet).  So far, I haven’t had any issues (and I was already used to using the key and the manual locks to lock and unlock the car since the power locks have been so unreliable).  Okay, it’s only been a day and a half.  We’re going to try not to use my car all weekend again as a test.  From Friday night to sometime Monday, we’ll leave it sitting in the driveway and use John’s car for any errands.  If it starts after two or three days, then we’ve probably found the problem.  I’m not sure what happens after that.  Is the relay bad?  Or is it something in the wiring?

Man, I’m much happier focusing on this issue than the stuff that’s happening at that place I have to go to every weekday.

Slow week

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People annoy me.  I had lunch today with someone I’ve barely seen or talked to in months (we don’t work together anymore), and it was kinda good and kinda awful.  Awful like I don’t want to talk to her anymore.  Good like it was nice to catch up, but awful like after about 20 minutes, I couldn’t handle listening to her (and didn’t want to share anything from my life, either).  Lunch ended eventually, though, and I got to come home and relax a little and then I got to go to yoga and relax a lot.  And now I have to give Roxy her medicine (her 5 tons of medicine), so I’m off.  Sorry for the lack of entertainment going on up in here.

Is it me?

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My site has been really weird the past two days.  I don’t know if it’s just on my end or if it’s affecting any of you, but loading takes forever, and half the time I get an error or get logged out.  I should have called GoDaddy today, but I was barely able to work today, let alone get anything else done.  (Hey, Mel, is Mercury in retrograde again or something?)  I’m not sure I’ll be able to publish this, actually (because of the technical problems I’m having, not because I’m in a funk).  Let’s try.

Can you believe it’s almost October? What the hell is that about?

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I took Riley with me on my run the other morning – huh.  Feels like several days ago, but it must have been just yesterday morning.  It’s only Tuesday.  Shoot me.  Anyway, a deer got really close to us.  I think he wanted to play.  It was cute, but Riley was a little freaked out.  The deer was following us down the trail, and Riley kept checking it out over his shoulder, ears pinned back.  It eventually ran ahead of us, and he calmed down, but it made for a very exciting morning.

We don’t get out much.  Actually, part of why I’ve been MIA is because I did get out over the weekend.  Went home to visit Mom and Dad and Corey and Mindy and Mark and Gaby and Candy.  Watched a gaggle of six-year-olds play soccer, found that I’m a natural at soccer myself (when one of those six-year-olds is the goalie), picnicked by the lake, played catch, flew a kite, got sunburned, went for a run – and that was all on Saturday.  It was a whirlwind weekend, but I got to see everyone (for not long enough, but it was better than not going).

And now it’s the work week, the last week of the fiscal year, when everyone freaks out, and I have to go to DC every day.  Here’s hoping next week is better.

I need to just let it go

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I think I’m going to save all my vacation time so I can take the entire month of September off next year.  The weather is perfect, the sky is this beautiful September blue, and I can’t enjoy any of it because I am STRESSED OUT.  Like, to the max.  Totally.  Roxy is sharing my stress because Riley stole her toy filled with peanut butter.  She got most of the peanut butter out before he took it, so I’m not really sure what she’s complaining about.  Still, it’s nice to have someone else around as stressed as I am.

Why yes, I would like some cheese

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No memory problems today.  That I’m aware of.  Just a growing sense of annoyance that I have to work.  Don’t throw things – I know I’m whining.  Today wasn’t even a bad day.  My meetings went fine, I got some stuff done, and I did it all from the dining room table.  I spent the first part of the morning in my workout clothes (with my post-workout sweaty smell), and then I showered and spent the rest of the day in my clean yoga clothes (because it’s Wednesday).  Why bother putting regular clothes on when the next time I leave the house it’ll be to go to the gym for yoga?

Can I be a little bit annoyed at how dark it is at 8pm already?  When did that happen?  Now I need to get a headlight or something for my bike.  I was invisible on my way home from yoga a few minutes ago.  Heh.  Yoga makes me invisible.  Cool.  Until I get hit by a car.  Not cool.

And now I can breathe

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The weekend is upon us, and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.  Sure, we have work to do (seeding the lawn is on the agenda for tomorrow), but it’s a THREE-DAY WEEKEND.  Three whole days.  Once I stopped working today, I was even inspired to clean up a bit.  I may have been watching Cinderella (and singing along) while washing dishes and cleaning the countertops, but you weren’t there so you’ll never know for sure.

I started reading the next book club book (Before I Go to Sleep) last night – it’s fascinating.  The next meeting is a week from today.  I’ll have this one finished before the weekend is over.

Total loss of brain function

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I did the dumbest thing ever today.  I routinely forget my leftovers in the downtown office fridge, but this time really hurts.  I took a coworker out to lunch (annual appraisal) at Chef Geoff’s today.  It’s a little nicer than a typical lunch out, but SO worth it.  They do interesting and delicious things.  I had the tarragon cured salmon sandwich – salmon, egg salad, capers, boursin cheese, some arugula.  It was incredible.  And it was huge.  I didn’t even finish half of it, but I most certainly had the rest boxed up to take with me.  Got it back to the office, got it in the fridge, got my coworker to help me remember to bring it home.  I saw her as I was getting ready to leave a few hours later, and I remembered.  I had a plan: go to the bathroom, pick up my sandwich, go home.  Instead, I went to the bathroom and then I went home.  I had to walk right by the kitchen door, so it shouldn’t have been a problem.  I should have said it out loud.  I remembered as I was crossing the Potomac into Virginia.  TOO LATE!  I was sad.  Still am.  I’m not going back downtown until next week (WAY too late), so I called my coworker and asked her to find it a good home.

Sad panda is sad.

At least I didn’t lose any cheesecake

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I went to lunch with a coworker today (I kind of had to, even though I’m considering never eating again after this week) at the Cheesecake Factory, ordered the chicken salad sandwich, only ate half, and put the other half in a box to bring home.  And then I left the box in the car.  For four hours.  In this crazy heat.  And then I remembered it and threw it away.

Good story, right?  Here’s another.

Every once in a while, we find a peanut hidden somewhere in the yard.  Not hidden very well, actually, but you can tell it’s supposed to be kind of out of the way.  Once there was in a flower pot.  We found another one in a crack on the steps to the porch, and today John found one in the mulch under a bush.  And when I say peanut, I don’t mean one that’s ready to eat.  We’re talking circus peanuts.  Bar peanuts.  Still in the shell.  Like Mr. Peanut, but without the top hat, cane, and monocle (more’s the pity).  So…we think we have an industrious little squirrel or chipmunk or something, hiding peanuts away for winter.  We have no idea where the peanuts are coming from.

Maybe it’s not a chipmunk.  Maybe, just maybe, there’s an elephant tiptoeing around our yard hiding peanuts.  And maybe it’s invisible.  And silent.

Navel-gazing – it’s what blogs are made of

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Take all of my whining and complaining and woe-is-me attitudes with a grain of salt – I’m utterly and thoroughly and completely and totally and redundantly grateful that I live where and how I live.  It’s crazy-hot outside, but I have electricity and air-conditioning.  It’s a Monday afternoon that’s not a holiday, but I have a job that allows me to work flexible hours so I can hang out with my brother and niece when they come to visit.

Hm.  Upon review, this feels a little odd.  I’m grateful, I’m thankful – to who whom?  I don’t mean to discount the feeling, although maybe I should describe it differently.  I’m happy, I’m relieved, I’m content…but I did this (with John, of course).  We are here, living where we do, in our house, in the jobs we have, because of decisions we made, not because of fate or luck or, heaven forbid, God.  (Hee.) So who would I be grateful to?  Our circumstances?  Our parents?  Ourselves?  All of the above?  Or maybe gratitude shouldn’t be involved.

I didn’t really mean to go there.  This was supposed to be a light appreciation of staying cool at home when the weather is stifling.  It just came out.  And I keep wanting to apologize for it, like I don’t want to sound ungrateful (there’s that word again) or cocky or anything other than…what?  Assured?  Confident?  I certainly don’t want to come out the other side to self-righteous.  Anything but that.  And where is this coming from?  I’ve been having a lot of conversations about standing up for yourself, valuing your own contributions, and being appreciated at work lately.  The underlying message appears to be bleeding through.

So why can I easily take credit for what I do at work, but when I try to take credit for my life here, I try to apologize?  Is my work persona that different?  Or is it just the medium?

Just nod if you can hear me.

12.

Who painted the target on my back?

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I got hacked again this weekend.  Not the website this time, but my email.  I apologize to anyone who was spammed by me early Sunday morning (which appears to be everyone I’ve ever emailed from that account, and I’ve had that account for…15 years (ish), so that’s a lot of people). As soon as I noticed it, I changed my password for every account that uses that password.

Other than that, things are going well (which I feel oddly compelled to tell you as if we just ran into each other after a long break).  My vacation-bred serenity with regard to all things work-related is officially gone, but that only covers a third of my day.

Dude.  I went to a new (to me) salon to get a haircut (freshened the layers, kept the length – hey, this is important stuff) the other weekend.  I was very happy with the haircut, but not 100% sure about the guy who cut it.  He was very good, but kind of standoffish and very disapproving about how long it had been since my last haircut and how very much I don’t like to have to do anything to my hair every day.  And he didn’t talk to me.  So it was a little awkward.  Anyway, you know how I don’t answer any calls unless I know who’s calling?  (Nod.  I’ve said this before.)  Well, I broke my rule.  A local number I didn’t recognize just came up on my cell phone (like in between the two paragraphs up there – totally interrupted whatever boring train of thought I had going on), and I answered it.  The salon I went to is one of 15 in a local chain.  The woman who called me was the owner of the chain.  She said she always calls new clients.  She was super nice, and when she asked me to rate my hair-stylist and I only gave him an 8.5 (based on the vibe), she suggested two other stylists at the same location who might be better for me because “first impressions are important and you should be happy with who does your hair.”  She just found herself a loyal client.

Collapsing

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I’m totally worn out from today.  I spent the work day getting more and more frustrated, and then I went to the gym for two hours (class night) and didn’t think about work for even a second (which was wonderful).  But the gym drained all of that frustrated energy out of me (and more), so now I’m all limp and noodly.  Relaxed, but in an I-can’t-lift-my-arm-above-my-head kind of way.

I heard the prettiest version of Over The Rainbow during yoga today.  I don’t know a lot about Eva Cassidy (she was local to the area and she’s dead – that’s the extent of my knowledge),  but I have really really liked everything I’ve heard her do.

I did it

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Kind of.  I had a work conversation that will have consequences.  Might be good or bad.  Let’s hope for good.  I think.

I’ve spent the last couple of days catching up on Fringe.  I was away too long and I missed two episodes, and at this point in the season, missing two episodes is kind of a problem.  Sure, I have Television Without Pity to catch me up, but I’d rather watch them.  Sadly, Hulu only carries the most recent five episodes (and it’s not a Hulu+ show), and it turns out I was seven episodes behind.  I read somewhere that Hulu is about to become even more limited, but I don’t remember where I found the link, and Google isn’t helping me right now.  But that will suck.

You know what won’t suck?  The Bloggess is coming to the DC area on her book tour! But wait – there is something that will suck about that.  I.  Can’t.  Go.  I can’t go and shower her with support because I will be out of town, and as happy as I am (and will be) to be on vacation, I can’t help but wish her visit wasn’t happening right then.  So you know what you local people can do?  I bet you can guess.  Go.  Go see her in Gaithersburg next Saturday (5/19) or in Annapolis next Sunday (5/20). Listen to her speak.  Get something (anything) signed.  Most importantly, tell her she’s wonderful and she can move in next door to me anytime.

I just re-read that paragraph and did a double-take.  Did I just write “shower with her support”?  Oh, wait, no.  I didn’t.

Count to ten and breathe deeply

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Statistics is over and John’s thesis has been turned in (his defense is Friday evening).  I should be able to relax a little now, right?  Why don’t I feel relaxed?  Relax, dammit!

Okay, yelling may not be the right approach.

Let’s blame it on work and leave it at that.  Actually, let’s blame it on getting up at 5 in the morning three days a week to get to work.  I can’t handle 5am.  6am is fine.  Maybe it’s a mental block, but it’s one I can’t (and don’t want to, to be perfectly frank) get past.

(I have one thing to say to all of you who are just itching to tell me what to do about it: I KNOW.  I will do something about it.  I have a plan.  You don’t have to tell me again.  So shush now and let me vent.  Thank you for your time.)

In other news, I got to hang out with a most adorable puppy (and Jess and Chuck, but let’s get our priorities straight here).  See?

His name is Rashi and he is the snuggliest puppy ever.

You want one, don’t you?  (I do.)

Idiocy

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I had a hard time getting moving today.  I needed to do laundry.  I thought about it several times throughout the day.  All I had to do was get up and do it, but my butt stayed in the chair.  It’s not hard.  It takes very little effort on my part.  I just didn’t make the effort.  (I did eventually get the laundry started.)

I’ve had a headache for the last, oh…3 hours.  Have I taken anything?  No.  Because that would be the smart thing to do.  And it would mean I’d have to move.  Get up, get water, get pills.  Put the laptop down…eh, my headache’s not so bad.

Riley is going to get stung one of these days.  Every time a bee or a wasp gets near him, he leaps for it and snaps at it.  I keep telling him he’s got it all backwards (“Buddy, it’s not a good idea to antagonize flying insects with stingers.  Trust me.”), but he’s not listening to me.

Maybe Riley can fight our battles for us.  He can wrestle with the developers who leave me hanging.  He can argue with the administrators who are running John’s paperwork in circles, and he can twist the arms of John’s committee members so they’ll show up for meetings.  Maybe all that fighting for us will take his (tiny crazy little) mind off trying to catch bumblebees in his mouth, and he can be spared the sting he’s heading toward.

Hey, I think my headache is going away.

Sing with me now

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Who’s having the best day ever?  Would you mind sharing?  Just a bit?  No, my day wasn’t horrible.  I made a small decision I wish I hadn’t (although it’s not really that big a deal), and yes, my commute was not what I’d hoped for, but I’m home now (makes up for a lot), and the weather is perfect (makes up for even more), and the week is over half done.  I’m kinda halfway between wanting to just go to bed now and looking forward to going to the gym.  I’ll probably be leaning more towards the gym once I get out of these #&$%%# tights.

Look, magic!

(from The Daily What)