It’s a start
I attempted meditation today. (I just tried to type “medication” instead of “meditation”. I did not attempt medication today. I’m perfectly capable of taking my medicine. Attempts are not necessary.) I was not exactly successful. I understand that it’s something you have to practice, that you can’t just jump in one day like “Hey, I meditate now!”, but it wasn’t a total failure, either.
It was early this afternoon, and I was in a weird mood to begin with, didn’t really know what I wanted to do with myself (and I’ve just started a new book, and even though I’m 100 pages in, I’m not convinced it’s what I want to read), and I thought that some quiet time might be what I’m looking for, maybe with peaceful music, alone with my thoughts.
I left John practicing his guitar in the front room of the apartment, borrowed some headphones from him, found a YouTube video that plays 6 hours of meditation music (not medication music – my fingers will not stay on topic), and unrolled my yoga mat on the floor of our bedroom (the back room of the apartment).
Then what? How to begin? I stretched a little, and then I sat down on the mat, legs crossed, eyes closed, palms up. I wasn’t really comfortable, so I tried lying down on my back. Better, but only for all of five minutes because that’s when my phone rang. Note to self: when meditating, turn off ringer. It was Molly, venting about work. Half an hour later, we hung up, and I tried again, but only for another ten minutes or so. The moment had passed. Those first five minutes were good, though. I’ll have to try again.