It’s a start

I attempted meditation today.  (I just tried to type “medication” instead of “meditation”.  I did not attempt medication today.  I’m perfectly capable of taking my medicine.  Attempts are not necessary.)  I was not exactly successful.  I understand that it’s something you have to practice, that you can’t just jump in one day like “Hey, I meditate now!”, but it wasn’t a total failure, either.

It was early this afternoon, and I was in a weird mood to begin with, didn’t really know what I wanted to do with myself (and I’ve just started a new book, and even though I’m 100 pages in, I’m not convinced it’s what I want to read), and I thought that some quiet time might be what I’m looking for, maybe with peaceful music, alone with my thoughts.

I left John practicing his guitar in the front room of the apartment, borrowed some headphones from him, found a YouTube video that plays 6 hours of meditation music (not medication music – my fingers will not stay on topic), and unrolled my yoga mat on the floor of our bedroom (the back room of the apartment).

Then what?  How to begin?  I stretched a little, and then I sat down on the mat, legs crossed, eyes closed, palms up.  I wasn’t really comfortable, so I tried lying down on my back.  Better, but only for all of five minutes because that’s when my phone rang.  Note to self: when meditating, turn off ringer.  It was Molly, venting about work.  Half an hour later, we hung up, and I tried again, but only for another ten minutes or so.  The moment had passed.  Those first five minutes were good, though.  I’ll have to try again.