How to make groceries sound really unappetizing

After I got home from work today and found Roxy totally okay in her crate (no more seizures today as far as I can tell), I went back out to the store to pick up a few things I’d left off the grocery list Monday morning.  Can’t go to Bloom anymore ’cause the one nearest us closed.  I didn’t feel like braving route 7 in rush hour to go to Wegman’s, and Safeway was just that much too far away, so I went to the next closest store to the house: Giant.  Not my favorite place.  I only needed to get four things, so I didn’t write them down, but since I have this habit of forgetting even short lists, I went with my second-best method of remembering them: repetition.  (Second use of the colon in as many sentences: overdone already.  Third!)  I started repeating “Grated cheese, feta cheese, cereal, Oust.  Grated cheese, feta cheese, cereal, Oust.” to myself.  By the time I got to Claiborne, it was a chant with the emphasis on the first syllable of each item.  By the time I got to the parking lot, I was slurring the words a little (yes, I was chanting out loud) so it sounded like “Graded cheese, fetid cheese, cereal, Oust.” Who wants to eat graded cheese and fetid cheese?  That’s how you make your groceries sound disgusting.  End of lesson.

Does anyone know how to make the house stop smelling like scallops?  I sauteed scallops for dinner Monday night, and ever since then, the whole first floor has reeked of raw fish.  That’s why I bought Oust.  I figured I could try this odor-eliminator thing.  So far, not so good.  I can still smell scallops underneath the Fresh Linen scent.  And that’s almost worse.  I’m not sure what to do, since it’s WAY too cold to open the windows and let the kitchen air out.  I’ve cleaned the counters, run the disposal, thrown out the…hm.  The plastic container the scallops came in might still be in the trash can.  But the smell doesn’t get stronger when I open the door to the basement (where we hide the trash can from the dogs).  Still, it’s worth a try.

Wondering what my first-best method for remembering things is?  I bet you can guess.  I’ll tell you anyway.  If I really want to remember something I WRITE IT DOWN.


  1. Jessica

    I was totally going to ask what Oust was before I finished reading the whole post. Glad I didn’t. For some reason, I was thinking it was something like Ovaltine. Don’t ask me why.

  2. Zannah

    Much as I love onions, I think I would have had to move out until the smell went away! Next time I cook with something like that, I’ll wait until the weather’s nicer and I can leave the windows open. I tried overwhelming the scallops smell with Indian food the next night (’cause that usually lingers a while), but it didn’t work. Three days is too long to smell fish!

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