Klutzy McKlutzington is struck down by a microwave (the appliance kind, not the electromagnetic kind) (Now that I think about it, it totally could have been the electromagnetic kind.)

Did I tell you that I fell down the other day (Wednesday, I think)?  Don’t think I did.  I fell.  On the kitchen floor.  For no discernible reason.  But I fell hard, and I’m bruised all over.  Including the inside of my left bicep.  I have NO idea how I managed to bruise that part of my arm and my knees.  I could understand the outside, but falling on the inside of my arm probably would have wrenched my shoulder, and I didn’t notice that Wednesday night….but that might explain the upper back pain I woke up with this morning…  It’s gone now.  The takeaway from this story is that I am a klutz.  I tripped over nothing and bruised myself all to hell.  It’s a wonder I didn’t stick a carrot in my eye at lunch today.  Do you have any idea why my boss would make fun of me for having carrots and hummus for lunch?  What’s weird about that?

Maybe I fell because the microwave died.  (Makes as much sense as anything else.)  The microwave that John fixed a while back has gone kaput again.  Won’t run at all.  Something happened (maybe lightning – we lost power) while we were on vacation.  Luckily, we still have John’s college microwave.  (I could have sworn we got rid of it after the last microwave fiasco because who needs two microwaves in one house?  Other than us.)  So now we have a useless microwave hanging above the stove and a very useful microwave taking up all the counter space above the dishwasher.  I don’t know yet if John is going to try to fix the broken one or if we’re going to buy a shiny new one to go in its place.  Either way, I’m sure we’re not going to get rid of the old one that keeps coming to our rescue.  We’re loyal like that.  Until we move.  I can’t make any promises when it comes time to pack up and the moving company charges by weight.  On the other hand, when we’re being charged for hundreds of boxes of books, what’s one microwave in comparison?


  1. Melvin?

    Speaking of klutz, yesterday morning, getting ready to leave for work (yes, WORK! Haha!) I had an unfortunate mishap (funny-looking word there; spelled right? Hmm) that led to what I would call a concussion (obviously not diagnosed by a professional) which has been characterized primarily by a throbbing pain in my right forehead and an uncanny need to use an overabundance of parenthetical statements.
    Anyhoo, embarrassing as it is, the incident occurred as I not-so-deftly attempted to swing my leg over the dog crate blocking the walk-in closet (to keep the puppy from destroying my oh-not-at-all-valuable shoes) by stripper-poling the doorframe and bonking my head (really flippin’ hard) as I swung around and over at sometime-before-7 a.m. (Not just parentheticals, apparently, but also hyphens.)
    Family trait, perhaps? The klutziness, of course. Also, I think we bruise easily because I am positively blanketed with bruises from vay-cay. I guess I could have leukemia, Charlie Brown, but I certainly hope not.
    Carrots and hummus is an awesome lunch, btw. Some people are just clueless. Has Buttertub ever made his homemade hummus for you? If not, this needs to be a request made at the next gathering of klutzes.

  2. I have an inch long scar on my left bicep from when I fell OUT OF BED and hit the night stand with my arm. A scar. Who falls out of BED? I was awake AND sober.

  3. Zannah

    And ever since then, you’ve slept with pillows on the floor and foam padding on the edges of your nightstand. Right?

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