I have nothing to say tonight. Is that okay? When this happens, I should probably stay off the blog, but I don’t have that kind of control.
Instead of babbling, I’ll leave you with a couple of videos. The first is about little green army men with British accents. I can’t embed it (well, I probably could but it would take too much effort right now), so you’ll just have to trust me and click on the link. It’s funny.
The second video is the first episode of Written By a Kid, a web series created by the Geek and Sundry people. These guys find a little kid and ask him/her to tell them a story. Then they animate it and show it over the voice of the kid telling the story. Super cute.
Now I can’t decide if I want to watch more Geek and Sundry videos or read my book. What is wrong with me?
And I want to be a princess. And I want a pony. And world peace. I can’t have any of that, but I can have funny cat videos. It’s one of my inalienable rights as an internet user.
Also, if you have 4 minutes to spare, watch this. Jimmy Steward wrote a poem, and I cried.
I went most of the day thinking I’d already posted something today. Yeah…no. An update to the post from two days ago does not count. But ZOMG this totally does:
I need one of these. (From Reddit because Reddit.)
On my way home today I saw a little boy run out of his house, open up his blue and red Spiderman umbrella, and then skip and jump down the sidewalk. It was a beautiful sunny day. Since an umbrella was clearly not needed, I can only assume he was trying to fly Mary Poppins-style.
Check out my new favorite mug! (How funny is that – WordPress spellcheck is British! It wants me to put the u in favourite.)
I drank my tea from it this morning.
There’s lots to tell and not enough hours in the day, so I’ll digress even more from the trip and show you adorable-ness personified elephantified. It’s only 22 seconds – watch the whole thing.
Did you hear about Cal Ripken Jr’s mom getting kidnapped (and returned)? Crazy, right? I wouldn’t bring it up except that I heard the best use of the wrong word in a news report about it. I don’t know who was talking, but whoever it was said, “She was approached by a man garnishing a gun.” I was immediately distracted by the image of a guy poking sprigs of parsley down the barrel and in the trigger of a handgun. Odd, but not all that scary. Or maybe it’s all the scarier for being so odd.
Posts here will probably be scarce (or at least very short) for the next few days, so to keep some pretty on the screen, here are some randomly selected pictures of Sparky’s other Scottish crush.
Apparently, he can’t keep his hands off himself. Can’t say I blame him.
A pest guy (guy in the pest control business, not a guy who’s a pest – although those guys are usually both) just came by the house selling pest control services (he was conventional like that -it would’ve been more interesting if the pest guy was selling, I don’t know, ANYthing else), and I got rid of him by leading him on a little (“Sure, give me your number. I’ll check the company out online and give you a call if we’re interested.”). I also told him I never make decisions like that on the spot, and as he left he said, “No problem. Just check with your hu – [big pause here] – whoever you need to check with, and let me know.” Nice catch, buddy. Never assume! Although he does still seem to be assuming someone else makes this kind of decision and not me. What? Just because I was home all day today? You don’t know me. I’m sure I’m reading too much into it, but it’s FUN to get hypothetically angry at the hypothetical assumptions the hypothetical real pest guy was making. How dare he?!
It is time for me to take on the enormous task of catching up on the internet again. It keeps getting away from me. In case you need help with the same task, I’m very happy to tell you that Jess has started blogging again. Like, yesterday (or a couple of days ago), but still – it’s a (re)start.
You know what’s hard? Biking uphill after yoga and squats. I’m not sure I can get up the stairs. I might have to crawl. Or maybe I’ll sleep on the couch.
There are videos on The Daily What today that I’d like to watch, but they’ll have to wait. I’d rather listen to John practice playing his banjo. (Oh, yeah. John got a banjo.) Then I’ll figure out how I’m going to make it to bed. Later, but soon. Like maybe now. No…almost. Now.
We do NOT have a bug problem. The bug guy came over this morning and walked around the entire house with John. He found no evidence of a bug problem aside from the porch columns, and he said those were mostly water damage. Once the wood started to rot, the carpenter ants moved in to eat it. We’ve already taken care of the ants, so all we have to do is replace the columns with properly-treated wood. Yay!
John told me a joke just now, one he saw on Reddit today in a thread full of jokes people found funny when they were ten. Or six. Pick your favorite immature age. Yes, I laughed.
Raise your hand if you want to watch an adorable kitten get his ass handed to him by an equally adorable bunny. That’s right. Everyone in the whole wide world just raised their hands. Even though most of them don’t read me. They just knew it was the right – no, the ONLY – thing to do.
Who knew that in a battle of bunny vs. kitten, the kitten would lose? (From The Daily What, of course.)
The good: I saw a rainbow! And I immediately shouted, “Rainbow!” because I am a moron.
The bad: Near the end of my second mile (of three), my legs couldn’t tell the difference between uphill and downhill. It was like dragging lead weights through water both ways.
The ugly: Right after I saw the rainbow, the skies opened, and I had to run the rest of the way home (the entire last mile) in the pouring rain. It’s hard to see when rain is sheeting down in front of your face. I don’t recommend it.
Have you seen Text From Dog? Hilarious. Some of my favorites:
Kind of. I had a work conversation that will have consequences. Might be good or bad. Let’s hope for good. I think.
I’ve spent the last couple of days catching up on Fringe. I was away too long and I missed two episodes, and at this point in the season, missing two episodes is kind of a problem. Sure, I have Television Without Pity to catch me up, but I’d rather watch them. Sadly, Hulu only carries the most recent five episodes (and it’s not a Hulu+ show), and it turns out I was seven episodes behind. I read somewhere that Hulu is about to become even more limited, but I don’t remember where I found the link, and Google isn’t helping me right now. But that will suck.
You know what won’t suck? The Bloggessis coming to the DC area on her book tour! But wait – there is something that will suck about that. I. Can’t. Go. I can’t go and shower her with support because I will be out of town, and as happy as I am (and will be) to be on vacation, I can’t help but wish her visit wasn’t happening right then. So you know what you local people can do? I bet you can guess. Go. Go see her in Gaithersburg next Saturday (5/19) or in Annapolis next Sunday (5/20). Listen to her speak. Get something (anything) signed. Most importantly, tell her she’s wonderful and she can move in next door to me anytime.
I just re-read that paragraph and did a double-take. Did I just write “shower with her support”? Oh, wait, no. I didn’t.
While coming home from my disappointing pedicure yesterday, I found myself behind a car at a stoplight. The light changed, but the guy didn’t go. I waited a couple of seconds, he still didn’t go, so I lightly tapped my horn. It didn’t come out so light. I wasn’t irritated, I wasn’t in a hurry, it was no big deal, but to the guy in front of me, I must have sounded like “Hey! Jerk in the car in front of me! What are you, asleep?” Not what I meant. But I have a solution! Every car should be installed with two horns. One little one so you can politely nudge someone when it’s clear they just need a little help, and then the normal obnoxious one, still with the big button in the middle of the steering wheel, so you can find it easily in an emergency and pound on it when loud blaring blasts of your horn are called for (which is practically never, unless you live in New York, but that’s a whole different thing). Problem solved.
Also this weekend, my most recent phone problem got fixed! Yes, it still reboots when it overheats and I can’t always find the GPS satellite (so yes, I’ll still be shopping for a new phone soon), but last week, the button that lets me turn my screen on and off quit working. WAY more annoying. The only way I could do anything with my phone was to plug it in (or unplug it). Then the screen would light up and I could make a call or check email or whatever. Otherwise, nothing. I took it to the Sprint store in the mall where the friendly technician took the whole phone apart and cleaned the button. For free! (Because I don’t have the protection plan and he can’t charge me for it and technically shouldn’t have been working on it at all.) Yay! And because I am a happy and grateful customer, I bought him a frappuchino. And a cookie. He also told me that I’m eligible for my upgrade in June, not August, and that technically, I’m eligible as of May 17th. Double yay!
This would make my commute so much easier to handle.
Remember that statistics midterm I wasn’t able to finish because I was caught by surprise by the format and didn’t have enough time to finish it? Yeah, the professor said no to my request to take another exam, so I got a 50%. To avoid a repeat on the final, I made sure I had over 4 hours available to take it. I walked in to the testing center and they gave me a scantron sheet. Yes, my final exam had 20 multiple choice questions on it (which is what I’d expected on the midterm, based on the tests in Statistics I – same professor). It took me an hour and a half. Do I think I did well? NO. Why? Because even though the course guide said the final will cover the material on the last two quizzes, about a quarter of the exam was on a subject we weren’t quizzed on. I could get lucky, I guess. Since it was multiple choice, I was able to guess at the answers. (I’ll leave the statistics jokes for you to make. I’m DONE.) So…yeah…I’m not happy. On the other hand, it’s over, and I will never be taking a statistics class from this horrible example of professor-hood (professor-ness, professor-ability) again.
This made me feel better (from The Daily What). One guy, lots of accents.
I’m supposed to be studying. One more chapter of statistics, one more quiz, one more test. But it’s 8:30, I had a long day and a longer commute, and I just read the same paragraph (about goodness of fit) three times without anything other than that one phrase (and something about a distribution that conforms to some claim) to show for it.
So here – watch a commercial about kids and moms and the Olympics. I won’t tell anyone if you cry a little. I did most certainly did not.
You’ll feel better when you watch the Carlton Dance flash mob, led by Carlton himself.
I’m so very excited. Must hurry up and finish my current book. The Bloggess is awesome and I would totally be there if her book tour was coming anywhere near DC. YAY!
I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Big surprise. And I’m going to regret it real soon now. But I’m also not in the mood to be doing what I have been doing, which is checking out new blogs. New to me. Not new to the internet. Blogs that bloggers I like like. (I have never written a more perfect sentence fragment.) If they like them, it stands to reason that I will too, right? But I haven’t liked a single one so far, so I think I need to stop and try again some other time. I mean, yes, I’m allowed to not like other blogs. Of course I am. And my reasons for not liking them are legitimate because it’s a matter of personal taste. One blog was boring, the writing style of another drove me up the wall, and I left a third because the layout made it difficult to read the full post. (That’s why I never used to read Mighty Girl. Her layout bothered me. I just checked it out, and I like it better now. Maybe I’ll give her another try.) I’m not sure I’d like anything new right now, though, so I think I’m going to put the new blog search away and get some homework done. The homework I should be doing so I don’t have to worry about it next weekend.
John and I are sitting on the couch together, laptops on our laps, mostly ignoring a TV show. We started watching MI-5 the other day, and we’re enjoying it, but for some reason neither of us is interested enough to put the laptops aside and actually watch it. But we don’t want to admit it, so it’s still on.
