I mentioned last night that I felt vaguely anxious about today. I didn’t have any reason to be worried, and there was nothing about today that was any different than any of the last two Mondays. Maybe I shouldn’t have talked about it, ’cause this morning was weird. I didn’t have any trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, and I got close to seven hours, I think. Not too bad. I needed to leave a little early to fill up the car, but that wasn’t a problem, and I didn’t eat as much breakfast as usual. Maybe a third of my tea, and just a small bowl of cereal instead of my usual piece of toast with peanut butter (out of peanut butter). I had a hard time staying alert on the drive, so I resorted to yelling at myself and making loud noises. Strange, I know, but effective. You’re not going to fall asleep at the wheel mid-yell. I was starving after I set up for the morning, so I went to the coffee place in the food court and got a small chai latte and a bagel. I had time to eat the whole bagel before class, but I only drank maybe a third (probably less) of the chai. I’m mentioning this in such detail to point out that I don’t think I was either over-caffeinated or under-nourished when I started class.
Anyway.
In the minutes before class and up to about mid-morning (so…more than two hours, closer to three), my heart was not exactly racing, but beating faster than normal, my hands were shaking, and I had to fight to keep my voice from sounding scared. I have NO IDEA what was going on. I’m fine now, and I was fine by lunch, but what? What was that? I didn’t even feel particularly anxious while all that was going on. I had all the physical symptoms of anxiety without any of the unease.
I mentioned it to John when he called me on his way from work, and he thought maybe it was lack of sleep catching up with me. Could be. Whatever it was, I’ve resolved not to worry about it unless it happens again.
Tonight, ravioli with Wegman’s delicious vodka blush sauce (the one in the bag. John’s mom is totally right. The one in the bag is SO much better than the one in the jar.).
Curiosity
Sorry to hear that it was an anxious day (sort of). Sometimes it seems like my mind and my body aren’t even on speaking terms with each other, but at other times a stray thought will flit through my mind for a microsecond and my body will FREAK RIGHT OUT. …I think they might be meeting behind my back.
Zannah
Wouldn’t that be spooky? Your mind and your body are talking about you behind your back, you never know what they’re planning…maybe a takeover or an intervention. I’d be paranoid. 🙂 Maybe if you turn around fast enough, you’ll catch them at it.
Fully Zen Badger
I’m convinced my body is trying to kill me.
Zannah
Maybe you should call the police.
momma betty
Could someone who is not her mother explain to Z what a panic attack is? Please?
Sandwich Stealer
Beta blockers. And decrease the stress load. (I know, I know, easier said blah blah.)
Not sure telling her it’s a panic attack will do anything to ease the anxiety, there, momma. I think we should slip her a mickey so she gets turned on to meds. Ah, sweet apathy! How I DO love thee!
Zannah
I don’t think extolling the virtues of apathy is the best way to sell me on the merits of meds, either. So sorry, try again.
momma betty
Exactly what I said to Sandwich in an email!!! (Well, not exactly. I didn’t use the phrase “extolling the virtues of apathy.” Nice.)
Zannah
(Thanks, Mom. 🙂 )
Sandwich Stealer
Looks like neither one of us is apathetic about apathy, just opposite extremes. Right now I wish I had more of it, but I must maintain my elevated stress level for one more day. The end is near! (For a week, then back again!)