Something exciting needs to happen to me tomorrow

1 Comment

This tree is right outside the main door to my office building.  The light yesterday morning was perfect, so clear.  I’d like to have a grove of these trees in my yard (near my yard, accessible from my yard – with a clearing.  And a brook!) someday.  My yard that’s out in the country somewhere.  I just haven’t found it yet.  It would help if I started looking.  That’s true of a lot of things.

I’m in a rambling mood without much to ramble about, so before I bore everyone to tears (Too late, you say?  I’ll send you some kleenex.), I’m going to stop.  Here.  No, here.  Right now.

I will conquer this hill. Someday.

1 Comment

I was totally impressed by a runner this morning.  There’s this huge hill a little over a mile from our house, and I usually hit it at the end of my third mile on a four mile walk/jog.  I’ve jogged up this hill no more than…maybe six times in over two years.  It’s steep and long (about .2 miles) and difficult.  So I’m usually walking.  Like I was this morning.  A guy came towards me, down the hill, in a casual jog, slow pace.  I thought to myself (like I always do when I see someone jogging DOWN this giant hill), “Sure, it looks easy when you’re going downhill.  When I get around the corner, I’ll be jogging downhill, too.  Try jogging UP!”  (I’m not always that mean, and I’m aware that they must have gotten to the top of the hill somehow, and yeah, they might have jogged up, which is more than I’m doing, but STILL.  That’s not when I see them and that’s not the frame of mind I’m usually in when I’m trudging up my local Mount Everest.)  Anyway, this guy passed me on his way down, and I continued my trudge to the moon.  Less than a minute later, I heard pounding footsteps behind me.  Dude came booking past me at light speed on his way BACK UP THE HILL.  His legs were moving so fast.  It looked like his body was sitting on top of a wheel, like in a cartoon.

He was wearing blue, too. Maybe he WAS the Road Runner!

So he went blowing by me, got to the top of the Himalayas, and came sauntering back down.  I made it to the top about when he got to the bottom again, so I stopped to watch him come back up.  Totally impressive.

Damn kids today

2 Comments

I’m enjoying running this week.  Because of the time change, the sun rises earlier, which means I don’t have to run in the dark.  I don’t like running in the dark.  I don’t have any reflective thingys on my clothes (but I’m pretty sure my shoes have reflective strips), and when it’s seriously dark, I run with a flashlight.  Which I’m not particularly crazy about.  But at least I can be seen, which is more than I can say for the kid I nearly ran over on my way home tonight.  Not even 6pm, and it’s pitch black outside.  I was in my neighborhood, driving perhaps a tad faster than I should have been, and as I came up to the cross street right before mine, I saw a flicker of movement go whizzing by in front of me, from left to right.  I got a better look when he got under the streetlight on the other side of the street, and I saw some kid flying down the hill, crouched down on a skateboard, wearing dark clothes.  I was hardly the only car on the road.  After he crossed in front of me, he was nearly hit by somebody backing out of their driveway.  Maybe he gets a thrill out of near death experiences.  I just think he’s crazy.  And I’ll stop speeding in my neighborhood.  I’d feel pretty guilty if I hit someone, and Mom says I’m not allowed to feel guilty anymore.

Oh noes, I almost forgot.  Again.  I forgot last year.  Happy Blogiversary to me!  Two years ago today, I started this blog.  Yay me.

Update: Hell.  It was yesterday.  I missed it again.

How is “thingy” a word? My spellcheck thinks it’s fine, but it doesn’t like “itty-bitty”

5 Comments

We have a new itty-bitty wireless keyboard to help run our computer/TV/media center thingy.  Super cute.  I took a couple of pictures, but they both turned out blurry (’cause I suck at taking pictures), so I’ll show you the one with a teaspoon next to it for some perspective.

Oh, better picture.  Here’s that little keyboard on top of my laptop keyboard.

The gyroscopic mouse is next on the list of techie things to buy.  This mouse app on my phone is getting a little old.

Can we have another night with another hour back?  Today was a really nice, long day, and I could use another extra hour before tomorrow morning.

I’m sorry I have nothing of interest to say, and that’s probably a sign that I should click that Publish button over there, but I don’t think I’m going to pay any attention to that sign.

(“It’s a sign.” “You don’t believe in signs.”)  Name that movie?  And maybe win another tote?  (Damn, I should really mail that tote to Holly….  Sorry, Holly.  I’m a deadbeat.  In the mail this week!)

Update for recordkeeping: Roxy just had a seizure.  She’s okay, as usual, but if I don’t put it here, I won’t remember it next time.  We’ve got her upstairs now, and she’s curled up on the floor by my side of the bed.  Being cute.

I’m ‘Enery the eighth I am

Leave a Comment

Jess and I discovered today that we couldn’t name all six of Henry VIII’s wives.  At least we knew there were six.  We got four of them.  Three and a half, really; we had the wrong Jane.  THREE Catherines, two Annes, and a Jane.  I think I’ve got it now.  A book of paper dolls set us straight, and I can’t decide if that’s funny or embarrassing.

Puppies are not always the point

Leave a Comment

A threat on the wall in the dentist’s waiting room:

All unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy.

I wonder how many children beg their parents to be left alone there. Maybe not that many.  It is the dentist’s office.  Although a puppy would be a powerful motivator to behave during your cleaning.  It might also be a powerful motivator to stop brushing your teeth so you HAVE to go to the dentist and get a puppy.

I don’t think they thought this through.  I think I’M reading too much into it.  And I’ve gotten away from the point of the sign.

Still.  PUPPIES.

The end.

Feeling guilty

6 Comments

I have feelings of guilt.  Not about anything huge, and they’re not overwhelming feelings of guilt, and when I list them here, no one who may be affected is allowed to feel guilt of their own.  I mean it.

  1. I may not have spent every minute I was at work today concentrating on work.
  2. I’m not reading my book.  Right this second.  I mean, I could be reading.  Why am I not?  Guilt.
  3. I haven’t made solid (or any) Thanksgiving plans.
  4. I’m probably (most likely) not spending Thanksgiving with family.
  5. It looks like I won’t see Mom and Dad again until sometime next year.  The rest of the family?  Hopefully in May.
  6. There are certain friends of ours who have a baby boy who we have met only TWICE in his short adorable life.
  7. We have other friends who have had their second child and are moving to Vermont, and we only know these things because John happened to google them and found their blog.
  8. I eat too much.
  9. I don’t exercise enough.
  10. I don’t play with the dogs enough.
  11. I didn’t volunteer my time to help with the midterm elections.
  12. I don’t carpool.

Enough.  Guilt sucks.

I voted!

4 Comments

I got up extra early this morning to vote (I had to go to DC, so early was already non-negotiable).  It was FREEZING this morning, and I wasn’t dressed for it (I’m not ready for winter), so I was trying to get inside the high school as quickly as possible.  Of course, the volunteers (all wearing coats and scarves) wanted to chat.  One guy said he was campaigning for the Republican guy, and promised me a flyer with his name on it when I come back out ’cause he’ll running for something soon.  I don’t remember what – I tuned him out when he told me who he was campaigning for.  And isn’t he not allowed to campaign for anyone that close to the school?  Anyway, I was nice to him because, you know, I’m nice like that, and then another volunteer asked me if I wanted a sample Democratic ballot to take with me.  I was really cold and in a hurry, so I said no, thanks, I know who I’m voting for.

I’m afraid I may have misled those nice volunteers into thinking I voted for Republicans.  Was nice to the Republican guy – check.  Was possibly a little short with the other guy and refused a sample Democratic ballot – check.  I hate being misrepresented, even by myself.

I voted for the Democrats, I swear!

Now I have to hunker down and finish my book.  It’s very important that I finish it tonight because I have a book to re-read before I can read the one I bought today.

Sanity has been restored

5 Comments

President Obama's house in the fall

John and I took a rare field trip into DC this Saturday for the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.  With one of John’s best friends from high school and his girlfriend, we drove into town (after running from the metro – ridiculously long lines), found parking easily, and walked down to the National Mall.  We joined the crowds heading in the direction of the stage and walked until we could walk no more.  Seriously, there was no room to move forward.  We were packed in like sardines, four blocks away from the stage, unable to see or hear much.  Except for the signs.  So that’s what I took pictures of.

Signs I Enjoyed (for any number of reasons) While Standing for Four Hours (Until My Face Got Sunburnt and My Legs and Feet Started to Hurt) Wedged In Among Wonderfully Nice and Sane People at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

This is the kind of Republican I can get behind. (Get it? I crack myself up.)

That pink sign I didn't take a very good picture of says "I was told there would be cherry blossoms," which is only funny if you know that the Cherry Blossom Festival this year wasn't timed quite right. It got warm a little too soon, so the trees blossomed a little too early, and then there was a big wind and rainstorm, so that by the weekend of the festival there was not a blossom in sight. But anything that takes that much explanation isn't really funny. Except to me.

Makes me want to dance.

I think "Everything will probably be OK" should be on the $5 bill.

Peoples is peoples.

Why can't people hold still when I'm taking a picture? "I can promote my opinion without misrepresenting people who disagree with me." Also, there's a scary Sarah Palin mask.

Possibly my favorite sign, considering the size of the crowd.

Two more good ones, but my favorites are the handmade ones.

Small detour - I couldn't help but stare at the mini-Snookie in front of me.

Maybe my actual favorite sign

Did I mention that we couldn't see anything? These guys had a solution.

Crazy Brave Guy had the best seat in the house.

Yay for funny signs!

A little Les Miz, anyone?  Someone handed Crazy Brave Guy a banner.

Okay, time for crowd shots.  The estimates for attendance are between 215,000 and 250,000, and I think those are low numbers.

Looking down 7th Street towards the mall

Dr. Horrible (he has a PhD in Horribleness) wouldn't hold still for me.

Can you see the stage or even a screen? I can't.

Don't look now - there's someone behind me.

I’m pictured out.

I give. Just not to you.

5 Comments

We ALWAYS use caller ID.  Always.  And I never pick up the phone when it says Unknown Name, Unknown Number.  I used to.  I was curious.  But then I learned that Mr. and Mrs. Unknown are ALWAYS asking for money.  So I stopped answering the phone.  Until this morning.  Why?  I got curious again, I guess.  And guess what?  Mrs. Unknown was asking for money.  Of course.  Maybe I needed a refresher.  This one oughta keep me for a year or so.

Totally unrelated: I LOVE Rhapsody in Blue.  If I had to choose one piece of music to have on a loop in my head for the rest of my life, I think it would be that one.  I heard it this morning and danced around the first floor to it.  Interpretive dance.  The dogs think know I’m nuts.

We hear each other – we just don’t listen

Leave a Comment

Conversation before dinner tonight:

John: “It’s going to be a reboot.”

Me: “Okay.  So it’s a reboot…”

John: “A reboot.  It’s when they retell the origin story.”

Me: “I know what a reboot is.”

John: “Then why did you ask “what’s a reboot?””

Me: “I didn’t.  I said, “It’s a reboot.””

John: “That’s what she said.”

Okay, John didn’t really say that last part.  In case you were wondering, we were talking about the new Superman movie.  The fact that  it’s a reboot is the only thing I know about it.  That, and it isn’t out yet.  And the guy who played Superman in the last movie isn’t going to be in it.  And the guy who directed Watchmen is directing it.  (I think.)  So I know four things about it.  And now you do, too.

You’re welcome.

Reboot looks and sounds ridiculous to me now.  Like I can’t spell (or say) robot.  Like the Jack In the Box commercial where the scary guy with the giant ping pong ball for a head can’t say chipotle and his mouth turns to a squiggly line.  (Chipotoplay always makes me laugh.)

I was afraid to eat there, but I liked the commercial.

One of the lions may talk a little

4 Comments

I met a nutty lady in the parking lot at Wegman’s today.  She locked her keys in the car and asked me if I had a hanger so she could try to unlock the door.  That wasn’t the nutty part.  It was a little, maybe.  She was parked only two spaces away, and she saw me when I came out of the store (I noticed her then, but didn’t realize she was locked out.), but she didn’t ask for help until I’d started the car and put it in reverse.  Then she knocked on my window and scared the crap out of me.  Why not ask while I was putting the groceries in the trunk or returning the cart to the corral?  Anyway, when I didn’t have a hanger, she asked if she could try my keys.

Excuse me?

That might have made a tiny bit of sense if our cars were made by the same company, but hers wasn’t a Hyundai, so…how is that supposed to work exactly?

She TOOK my keys out of my hand (I certainly don’t remember giving them to her) and tried to break my car key off in her lock.  That’s what I assumed, anyway, based on the amount of force she was using to get the thing to turn.  Her friend (there was a friend) kept telling her it wouldn’t work.  It didn’t.

I got my keys back and suggested they call their insurance company.  Then I backed away slowly (sudden movements might startle the crazy lady) and got in my car to make my getaway.

Lesson: Don’t help people?  No…  Always keep a wire hanger in the car?  Maybe.  Don’t let loony ladies take your keys!  That’s the one.

My titles are often not relevant

7 Comments

Or pertinent.  I like that word.  I should use it more often.  I’m failing at the go-to-bed-earlier game.  Again.  As a result, this post, like these sentences (but not this one in particular), will be short.

With all the talk of loud neighbors, this made me laugh.

Goal for tomorrow: manage my time so I can read and write and be asleep half an hour ago.  (That would be impressive.)

In walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes

4 Comments

I had PLANS. And these PLANS, they involved going to bed an hour ago, because these PLANS of mine were all about not being totally exhausted when the alarm goes off tomorrow morning so I have a chance of getting out of bed within the first snooze.

I failed.  It’s now an hour later, I’m exhausted just looking at the clock, and can’t I pretty please wake up tomorrow to find that some old geezer

wonderful old person

generous anonymous donor has given us 486 million dollars because we’re so cute?  Nice?  Deserving?  Just because?  Oh, the plans I have for all that money…

The neighbors got a cat – updated with video

3 Comments

A big orange one.  Who hangs out in their backyard.  Which backs up to our backyard.  Which I discovered when I ran outside this afternoon to find out what all the commotion was about.

The cat was right up against the fence, all puffed up, growling and hissing, and the dogs were barking their fool heads off.

That is one angry cat.

Eventually, he retreated and glared at us from the slide.

Angry Cat moved off to a safe distance.

The dogs quieted down after that, although Roxy kept an eye out for Angry Cat’s return.

And now, a short romp in the yard.  (My video debut!)  Points to anyone who can figure out what I said at the end.

(2 hours later.) Hm.  Well, if Vimeo ever finishes converting that video, I’ll upload it.  Maybe in the morning?

Morning: Here we go.

Short Romp from Susannah Brewer on Vimeo.

I could be funnier if I had a British accent

3 Comments

I know, cat videos on the internet, cliche, blah blah, but this is hilarious.  Trust me.

Thank you to John Scalzi for finding it. Speaking of John Scalzi, I recently read Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded, a collection of some of his blog posts over the course of a decade.  One of my favorites was Football With Jesus, which I just found in his archives.  For you.

Secrets to do

2 Comments

I drove home today behind the most cautious lane-changer in the world.  We were in the right lane of three, and about a mile before it ends, the guy put his turn signal on.  And then nothing.  Cars went by, lots of space between them, and the guy didn’t move.  I did.  And then, eventually, he merged into my lane, still in front of me.  Didn’t turn off his turn signal, though.  Still blinking, but now he’s cruising in my lane again.  The left lane is WIDE open, nobody in it, and his turn signal is still blinking.  We went through another intersection.  Still blinking.  Finally, after the left lane had been clear for at least three minutes, he moves over.  I have NO idea what was going through this guy’s head.  I have no idea why this is still bugging me, almost four hours after it happened.  At least he used his turn signal.

Why I Want to Move

8 Comments

Reason #24: From our bedroom, I can hear every conversation the neighbors have when they’re out on the sidewalk saying goodbye to their guests at the end of the night.  I can hear the guy across the street whistle for his dog.  He’s whistling that distinctive whistle people who can whistle whistle when they’re calling their dogs in from the yard.  You know which whistle I’m talking about.  (Whistle.)  I can hear the car door close when my early-rising neighbor goes off to work at god-awful-early-in-the-morning.

Point?  I don’t want to live this close to my neighbors.  I like the idea of neighbors, I like having them, I like knowing them, and I kinda wish I knew some of them better.  But I don’t want to hear them when I’m inside.

Can they hear me?  Can they hear the TV or the music I was playing when I picked up this afternoon?  Don’t invade my privacy, neighbors.  And get off my lawn!

Whistle.