Wait for it….
Watch this. See if you can find Fenton.
We’d never get Riley back. I saw this on reddit somewhere and at The Daily What.
Quiet, you quazy quackers!
A crossword clue I liked the other day: Tango quorum. Maybe because I like the word quorum. And quagmire. And quackery. Quell. Quench. Quibble. Quest. But I have never understood why the uppercase cursive Q looks like a big floppy 2. Whose decision was that?
I finished reading Orson Scott Card’s Hidden Empire yesterday. There are times when knowing more about an author makes reading their books more enjoyable. There are times when knowing more about an author makes no difference whatsoever to how you feel about their books. And there are times you wish you could unlearn things about an author because you were SO much happier reading those books before you knew what you know now. Orson Scott Card falls into the third category for me. In high school, when Randy badgered me into reading Ender’s Game (I have no idea why I needed badgering, but thank you for doing it), I didn’t know anything about him (OSC, not Randy). I LOVED Ender’s Game. I still really like it, and I like all the sequels. I’ve read just about every novel OSC has written, and with the exception of the Homecoming series and maybe one or two others, I really liked them. Later, I found out OSC was Mormon. Not a big deal – an author’s religion is completely irrelevant to me. Knowing that, though, made me notice that it comes through in his Alvin Maker series, but those books are still fantasy (alternate history with magic), and I like them. His religion, his feelings about religion, come up sometimes, in some books, but they don’t get in the way of suspension of belief. Usually. Yes, one of Ender’s parents is Mormon and the other is Catholic and that’s why they want more than their allowed number of children and yes, the government in the book is painted as evil for hating religion (and other things). It’s still part of the story, and when I first read it (the first few times I read it, probably), I didn’t see that plot point as anything other than a plot point. I can still NOT view it as something planted by the author for a reason because it serves the story. It helps that the vast majority of his books take place in the past or in the far future.
A few years ago, I found OSC’s website. He writes a weekly column called “Uncle Orson Reviews Everything”, and for a long time, I enjoyed reading it. At least, I enjoyed reading it when he was reviewing books and movies and restaurants and random products. I like his writing style, and I’ve found that I like (and often love) books that he recommends. Sometimes, he discusses politics and world events. I can’t read him when he discusses politics and world events. I see red. He’s a Democrat who hates Democrats. He thinks global warming is the left’s religion. He – no, that’s not my point. My point is that I know this about him now. And I can still dismiss it when he’s writing science fiction or fantasy that takes place in the future or the past or in nothing resembling real life. But Hidden Empire (and Empire, which came out a few years ago) takes place in the immediate future. I don’t remember having as much a problem with Empire, but with Hidden Empire, I couldn’t go two pages without being hit over the head with his worldview. Right, people who believe global warming is a problem secretly want a third of the world’s population to die. Sure, only Christians would volunteer to help the sick and dying. The action was good. The preaching was not. I was disappointed. End of review.
I started to quote bits of OSC’s latest reviews as examples of what makes me want to tear my hair out, but reading those articles is making me crazy, so I’ll just link to a couple. You can read them if you want to. Then breathe deeply. He gets into politics in this one from 9/15/11 and there’s a section on Herman Cain in this one from 11/3/11.
I’d rather get my marching orders from a baby panda
What’s worse than a work bathroom with terrible lighting? A work bathroom with terrible lighting and a flickering florescent bulb over one of the sinks. Come ON. You’re already unhappy because you’re at work. Then you look in the mirror and get depressed about the bags under your eyes and your death-warmed-over complexion, both caused by the sucky lighting (you hope). You start to lose patience with all things work-related, letting your anger boil up every once in a while (but only on the inside). THEN you realize that your increasing rage was created by the nonstop flickering of the light over the lefthand sink. Your self-awareness of the cause of your rage doesn’t diminish it – oh no. Your rage rockets to the sky because this light, this awful, headache-inducing, horror movie flickering light, has been flickering like this for MONTHS. You’ve reported it to the office staff several times, and you probably aren’t the only one. Have they fixed it? NO. I should get a medal (a raise would be better) for not going on a homicidal rampage. The light made me do it.
Nice things
Nice thing #1: Manicures. I had one the other day. Tuesday. I feel much better now that my nails aren’t in danger of tearing/breaking or hurting someone (myself included). Also, they’re pretty. And neat. Toes are next on the agenda (maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday). I didn’t have time to do both on Tuesday.
Nice thing #2: Yoga. I like it. I’m all relaxed. Hungry, but that’s what strawberries are for. My yoga instructor says we shouldn’t drink anything for 15-20 minutes after we’re done because our bodies are detoxifying. I’m not exactly sure what it means, but I’m always really thirsty when class is over. Waiting 20 minutes is like torture. But I was talking about nice things. Like strawberries.
Nice thing #3: Strawberries. I bought some when I went shopping on Friday, and oh crap. It’s been almost a week. I hope they’re still good. If they are, that’s dessert. Dinner was nice thing #4.
Nice thing#4: Whole grain English muffins with cream cheese and strawberry jam. Why whole grain? (That’s what John wants to know. Why would I ruin a perfectly good idea by buying whole grain English muffins?) Because that’s what I saw when I was at the store. I have no ulterior motive. It’s nice that they’re better for me and they taste essentially the same (especially when covered with cream cheese and strawberry jam), so why fight it?
Okay, people, you can relax now. The strawberries are fine. I’m going to eat them. Right now. Good night.
Death by brisket or barking pug – your choice
We have had an eventful couple of days. I tried to poison us, and then we got attacked by a pug. Not on the same day, thank the whatever from high atop the thing (because I am a DORK), because I don’t know if I could have handled that.
First things first: I made brisket for dinner on Sunday. It cooked all day long, smelled fantastic. Last time I made it, I didn’t cook it quite long enough, so I added time this weekend. I kept an eye on it, added water, and kept it tightly covered, but I guess I didn’t add enough water at the end. Maybe. I’m not sure, but the bottom was not edible. Very tough. The rest of it tasted fine, so we ate it anyway and put away the leftovers. Within a couple of hours, by bedtime, I was not feeling so hot. Like so not good that I was contemplating sleeping on the floor next to the toilet. The smell of the brisket was SO strong we had to open the windows, and when I did crawl back into bed (bathroom trashcan nearby), I tried to sleep sitting up, knees up, head tilted forward and toward the fresh air coming in from outside. I didn’t have a good night. By about 3am, John wasn’t having a good night either. Neither of us could sleep facing the hallway (even after John closed the door) because the overpower smell of brisket was nauseating to us both. That’s a tragedy. Brisket is one of the best smells in the world. We were a little woozy the next morning, but we got over it. John even made a brisket sandwich out of the leftovers for lunch today. He’s braver than me. We’ll see how he feels tonight.
This morning, after a light dinner last night and a normal night’s sleep (I’m feeling much better, thank you), I took the dogs for a jog around the neighborhood. We turned down this one street, and every dog on the block started barking at us. Making a HUGE racket. Roxy and Riley were really good, though. They stayed on the sidewalk with me, didn’t bark, didn’t lunge. About halfway down the block, a woman across the street from us was admonishing her barking ankle-biters and eventually scooped one of them into her arms. We got past them, but all that little-dog barking was getting louder and louder…I looked back and I saw a pug charging across the street toward us. I grabbed Riley’s collar to keep the crazy down, and the pug stopped short right in front of Roxy, who didn’t even flinch. That pug was inches from her face, barking his head off, and Roxy stood her ground and looked at him, head cocked to one side like she was confused. Maybe she intimidated him (’cause Roxy’s SO scary). He ran back home a few seconds later.
For those of you who were wondering, John feels fine. Maybe it wasn’t the brisket.
Know what I mean, Vern?
You know that feeling when you’ve promised someone you’ll do something and then the time comes and you REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t want to do it? But you still have to? I hate that feeling. And I don’t want to do it. But I will.
I did, and it was fine.
You know what I love? Three-day weekends. I LOVE three-day weekends. Even when they’re full of stuff to do (calculus quiz) and errands to run (too many to count), that extra day gives me SO much time. I don’t feel rushed. I love that. All weekends should be three days long.
You know what else is fun? Updating your Amazon wish list. It’s like following all those links and getting lost in Wikipedia, except you’re finding stuff you want to buy.
And you know what ELSE? A cooking brisket is one of the best smells in the world. And there’s only about half an hour left before we can eat. I’m not sure John is going to last that long.
Juggling is a skill I do not possess
Maybe it’s because I’m getting old(er). Maybe it’s because I was never very good at multi-tasking. I’m not handling doing lots of things at once very well. Not at work, not at home, not combining work and home (where home = school and fitness and oh, right, grocery shopping and cleaning and playing with the dogs…). Something is always getting neglected. Which something changes day to day, except for grocery shopping. That gets neglected every day. Which means we’re eating SO much crap. Pop tarts for breakfast today, guys. I can’t remember the last time I even saw a pop tart. I went to CVS this morning to get more allergy medicine, needed something for breakfast, and grabbed a box of strawberry pop tarts. Yum, sure, but not good. Yeah, I could have picked up a box of nutri-grain bars or granola bars. Or those milk and cereal bars. Frankly, the milk and cereal bars both fascinate me and gross me out. They say they’re made with real milk, but who wants to eat cereal with solidified milk holding it together? It’s probably more like frosting, and frosting for breakfast doesn’t sound all that appealing either. Anyway, yes, I took the easy, junk-foody way out. And that was dumb. But it was quick. This morning, I’m trying to learn how to solve higher order homogeneous linear differential equations with constant coefficients (before I have to go to Baltimore for work) so I can finish my quiz on time.
Words fail me
I’m doing homework tonight and my brain hurts.
This helps.
This, too. I’m still not interested in running a marathon, but I like watching runners, and that many in one place is hard to believe and fun to watch.
Both videos from The Daily What.
At least I got an extra hour out of it
How does a whole Saturday, no, a whole weekend disappear like that? It had productive moments, but mostly – I need a do-over.
On the non-productive front, we started two new shows over breakfast. Grimm looks like it could be really good. The other show, Once Upon a Time, looks interesting, but maybe not quite as good as Grimm. I still want to watch it.
One of the things we didn’t do was buy a new flower pot to plant the remaining avocado sprout. John said flower pot to me and all I could think of was this:
It starts a little late, but I can’t find the beginning of the scene on YouTube. Close enough.
You’ll never believe it because it is SO unbelievable
I gotta tell you something crazy, peoples. Last night, after I got home from work….wait for it….I DIDN’T TURN THE COMPUTER ON. I know. I don’t know how I survived. I’m making up for it today.
From reddit: how did I not know this? Wait – maybe it’s new. Right now, go to Google. Type in “do a barrel roll”. Google is awesome. Here’s more.
I want this outfit. She looks fantastic, of course.
Also, watch this. I’m too lazy to embed the video, so follow the link for a very fun father-daughter dance medley.
Sorry for all the links and no content. I have to go to Baltimore at too-early-to-be-believed tomorrow morning, so I’m going to bed.
I probably jinxed it. I do that a lot.
Cold weather = dry air = dry skin = can I just spend all day every day in a bathtub full of moisturizer? That wouldn’t be weird, right?
Here, have an insane puppy. I’m tired. Too many interrupted nights for sick puppies. But yay! No incidents last night or all day today! I think we might be able to sleep through the night tonight.
I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?
Avoiding an egging
We weren’t particularly in the mood for Halloween this year. John picked up some candy yesterday, but we didn’t decorate, we didn’t look for costumes for ourselves, and as of this morning, we’d decided to pretend we weren’t home. I had visions of us leaving all the downstairs lights off and hiding in our room with dinner, the dogs, and the Roku, blinds closed. I would have put a bowl of candy on the front porch, but that would have been it. Then John got home and decided we weren’t going to be those neighbors. Instead, the lights are on, the doorbell is ringing, the dogs are going nuts (Riley LOVES Halloween – he’s so excited he gets to say hi to all the little kids), and we’re holding dinner until the rush is over. But the kids are cute. This one little boy was pretty clearly dressed as Thor, so I asked the idiot question: “Are you Thor?” “NO. I’m FIVE.” I stopped asking. Another little girl ran back to her parents yelling, “I petted the doggie!” That’s SO much better than candy.
Allons y, Alonzo!
Two sick dogs does not a happy household make. They’re miserable, we’re miserable, and I can’t believe I’m looking forward to seeing solid dog poop again. I mean, really. We haven’t made it through a night without some cleanup necessary in the morning. It’s been almost a week, but at least in the beginning, it was just one dog. Last night I shot downstairs at 2:30 in the morning because I heard Roxy’s collar jingle. I thought maybe she was just getting up and I could get her outside in time. Nope. There was already a mess. I cleaned it up while they were outside and went back to bed. Got up at eight this morning – another mess. I’m fairly certain the second mess was Riley. We were thinking about crating them tonight, but honestly, it’s easier to clean up the floor than it is to clean up the crate AND give each dog a bath. Before work.
Enough about dog poop? Okay. The only other thing on my mind is my DE midterm tomorrow morning. And Doctor Who.
[Beginning of Doctor Who section – if you’re not interested (I’m looking at you, family), you can quit reading now.]
We finished Season 4 of Doctor Who today (and Season 2 of Torchwood). I have two things to say:
- Rose got her Doctor! Yay yippity yay yay! Makes me very happy. And maybe a little teary.
- I am NOT ready for a new Doctor. Do I have to?
- Does this mean we get Martha on Torchwood? And maybe Mickey? I could live with that. Don’t answer me. I’ll find out soon enough.
- Donna was my favorite. She was AWESOME.
- GREG. The fish-head episode is long over. Unless there’s another one even MORE literal than the one I’m thinking of. What on EARTH were you going to tell us?
I could go on, but John is making dinner and it smells SO good.
What is this – I don’t even – gah
Do I live in North Dakota? Near any Great Lake? Do I live in ALASKA? No. Do I live below the Mason-Dixon line? Yes. Is it October still? YES. Then why WHY did I wake up to this this morning?
It doesn't look so bad here, but it was early.
I mean, really, weather, what’s going on here? The snow switched to sleet briefly and then right back to snow. It came down steadily ALL DAY LONG. I don’t live in #$*&% Minnesota, people!
If this is an omen, I may not be leaving the house this winter. I’ll have to get my groceries airlifted in. New tires just became a higher priority. Maybe I should teach the dogs how to pull a sled. And I can learn to snowshoe.
On top of that, it seems we now have two dogs with stomach problems, so off to the vet we will go (again) Monday morning.
(Obviously – or maybe not if you’re ignoring the news – everyone in the Northeast has it worse than us, but that is not the point. It’s not even Halloween yet, for crying out loud.)
Wildlife sighting! Hearing, really, but who’s ever heard of a wildlife hearing?
The other night, John and I got up at 2am to let Riley out. (Riley has been having intestinal difficulties, and we were trying to avoid waking up to another gigantic mess.) I stepped out onto the deck to shoo him into the yard, and I heard hooting. Like actual owl-type hooting. The kind I’ve only ever heard exaggerated in scary nighttime scenes in Disney movies. And those are always set deep in the woods or on farms or something. I certainly didn’t expect to hear it in our treeless suburban neighborhood. And then I heard a second one. TWO OWLS. In my backyard. At 2 in the morning. May I never hear that again (if only because I prefer not to be up at 2 in the morning).
Hey, I managed to embarrass myself on Twitter this morning. On the plus side, John Scalzi replied to my tweet. On the minus side, I came off looking like an idiot.
And on top of that, I look like a nerd trying to impress someone with a big word. In my defense, I ran out of characters when I tried to say “irrelevant to the discussion” instead. I was being concise.
I’m going to hide now.
Update: To make the whole Twitter thing worse, I was just catching up on my blog reading, went to Whatever, and found that the article was apparently in yesterday’s Washington Post and John Scalzi posted it on his own blog then. So now I’m an idiot who clearly doesn’t keep up with his blog. Just great.
I need to take better notes
There was something I was going to write about, something John said or did, but I don’t remember what it is. I had a very frustrating day that went straight into an online midterm review. That went pretty well. I feel better about the exam, at least. So instead of whatever it was I was thinking about earlier, you can have these instead.
1. Look! An adorable baby goat playing king of the mountain and being adorable!
And 2. This (from reddit) makes me laugh every time I look at it.
I think I need to see Madagascar. Jungle animals doing hilarious things sounds really appealing at the moment.
Thank you for your time
Dear Internet,
I need a nap. Every day I need a nap. Every day I have to get up at five, definitely, but every day would be nice. Would you mind changing the work culture in this country to make that acceptable? Not all of us can work for Google or Pixar or Rockstar Games (where I hear they encourage, or at least allow, such things). If you, Internet, are not the right, um, entity to whom this request should be addressed, would you please tell me who I should ask? Santa, perhaps? The Tooth Fairy might be interested in labor laws, but I don’t know how much influence she really wields.
Thank you,
Zannah
Not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Naturally.
What I should do: study for my calculus midterm. What I’m going to do: play on the internet and possibly watch TV. Then? Bed. I have to go to Baltimore again for work tomorrow. On the one hand, the work I’m doing in Baltimore is the best thing about my job. On the other hand, I have to go to Baltimore. It’s far.
I need more sleep. Roxy was due for a seizure over the weekend, but she never had one. This is good news (seizures are bad), but it means I’ve been watching her like a hawk when I’m home and I keep waking up at every random sound in the night, convinced it’s her. I’m tired. But she just licked my elbow and wagged her tail, so everything must be fine.
Update: I jinxed it. She just had a seizure. But at least it was before we went to bed. (She’s fine. Walking it off.) I’ve been playing phone tag with the vet since yesterday. She wants to talk about changing her medication. (Roxy’s, not the vet’s, just so we’re clear.) I’m all ears.
It’s scary how easy it would be to turn back into a pumpkin
So…you know how the other week I was over the moon about running? How I ran my race, and I ran faster than I expected, and I felt really good? Well. In the two weeks immediately following that race, I ran a total of 3 miles. Weird schedule, too many crazy-early mornings – oh, I’ve got plenty of excuses. But, as John so kindly reminded me this morning, you lose your conditioning a hell of a lot faster than you gained it. So this morning I ran four miles. I’ve still got it. And I don’t want to lose it. I don’t know if I could jump right in and run ten again, but I’m aiming for 7 or 8 this weekend. That’s doable, right?
The Bloggess (who you should really be reading regularly because oh my god Snuffleupagus) pins some hilarious and beautiful things on her pinterest page. You should check in on that every once in a while, too.
I just turned in my third calculus quiz of the semester and I have to take the midterm before next Wednesday. So I’m going to watch some TV because the band is rehearsing in the basement and who can study through that?
It’s Friday and I’m lazy
Hi. I’m easily amused. Also weird, apparently. At least according to Dad. I don’t remember what I was saying to him at the time, but he says I’m winning the family weirdness competition I didn’t know we were having. Yay for me!
Here are some videos that made me laugh today (ymmv).
From Improv in Toronto via The Daily What: